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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Name That Turk
(credit: visualfunhouse.com) Everyone has a family tree. Now Husband Dan has a family tree, only the branches have a permanent bad hair day and refuse to organize themselves in any logical way. Part of this is because people in his family believe strongly in marriage and so they marry often, creating lots of half […]
That’s not my purse. It’s my kidney.
March 28, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
In an attempt to add body snatching to the list of endangered job descriptions, scientists are perfecting ways to grow organs (the kind usually found inside the body) in a lab. These “bioartificial” organs are identical to the ones produced when your father grabbed his crotch one day and whispered sweet nothings into your mother’s […]
Passenger Creates Kindle Mayhem on Transatlantic Flight
March 25, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
Life in the Boomer Lane’s flight back from London was uneventful except for one item of note. At some point during the trip, LBL fell asleep and was awakened by a loud clunk. When her brain cleared, she realized her Kindle must have slid off her lap. LBL then proceeded to do the Airline Dance in which […]
London: Why I’m Here and Why I’m There
March 23, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
Whatta week! Life in the Boomer Lane arrived n London on Thursday to spend the week with her daughter, grandson, and son-in-law. As if that weren’t exciting enough, LBL found out on Saturday that from 4000 entries submitted to the NPR short story contest that she entered in January, hers was one of a dozen selected […]
Ask Me About My Colonoscopy
March 19, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
When burying people up to their necks in sand and releasing ants to crawl all over their heads became passe, someone invented the colonoscopy. Colonoscopies are especially important for people over the age of 50 because it provides them with the need for something that no one ever told them about and which can’t be spelled anyway. […]
Fullness
March 16, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
Tomorrow morning, I’ll board a plane for London to see my daughter and my grandson. I’ve been there many times, now. This trip, like all others will have its own unique character. The word “fullness” comes to mind when I think of this trip. My daughter: The fullness of belly, of breasts. Incubating her next […]
I’m too Famous for my Pilates Class
March 15, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
Actually I’m not. What with the whole Freshly Pressed thing yesterday, and with all the comments pouring in, I thought maybe I should stay home and answer them, instead of going to class. But the truth is that I just always try to think of a reason not to go to the gym (like the […]
Taxes and Other Communicable Diseases
March 14, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
“She didn’t make her quarterlies on time.” This year, I sailed breezily through tax preparation time. No fretting, no anguish. This is because I was entirely too busy making cute cuff bracelets to focus on doing any prep work in anticipation of visiting the tax preparer. When, on Tuesday, I finally removed the glue that had […]
What Makes Things Spew Out of My Nose
March 11, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
Life in the Boomer Lane can’t help it. Whenever anything happens that makes her feel uncomfortable or helpless or scared, she makes a joke. Then LBL makes herself laugh (because she is always her own best audience) and then things come out of her nose. Her life has never been directly threatened, but on two occasions when […]
Oh, Baby. Boomer.
March 10, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
E-Science News has come out with an article detailing a 65 year-long study on Boomers by the Medical Research Council of Britain. The title of the article alone, “Baby Boomer Study Shows Importance of Childhood,” is vital to understanding how they become who they become. Mainly this involves the fact that, after years of research, scientists […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
March 29, 2011
by Life in the Boomer Lane
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