The Good, the Bad, and the Inexplicable

Posted on February 18, 2011

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Whatta week in Blog World.  First, THE GOOD: I found out that I was awarded the Style Blogger Award   from Barb at http://www.cafetodaymyblog.wordpress.com.  This sent me into a tailspin because 1. I don’t win things.  2. Even when I do win things, I’m not aware of it. Wendy at www.writerwoman61.wordpress.com told me she had given me a couple awards back in September, and I never responded.  I’m really sorry about this.  I’m also thinking there might be an unclaimed Oscar waiting for me somewhere or even the Nobel Prize. I have no idea.  So, I’m accepting this award and I’m going to tell all of you five ABSOLUTELY TRUE things about me or my immediate family:

       1.     Both of my parents came here illegally (more like falsifying documents than climbing fences or hand-paddling tiny boats at night)

      2.     Someone in Then Husband’s family committed what was then called “the murder of the century.”  Hint: Bye, bye, Stanford White.

      3.    Now Husband Dan’s Turkish family lived for 500 years in the Ottoman Palace, because one of his female ancestors was the Keeper of the Keys for the Harem. I call NHD “deposed royalty.”  Unfortunately for me, he has lineage without any cashola.

     4.    The first two of my three children were born 12 months and 3 days apart.  No, I didn’t plan it that way.  When I came through the doors of the labor room with my second, the nurse looked at me and said, “You, again.  Weren’t you just here?”

     5.    I studied ballet for seven years, from age three to ten.  I didn’t know that I had a congenital spinal deformity that manifested in puberty.  Finally, at age 50, I had spinal fusion and instrumentation.  I have enough metal in my body to fly myself somewhere. 

THE BAD: My comments on some of your sites have been either flipping into spam or disappearing entirely (You might want to check under your pillow or in your laundry hamper tonight, for clever and thought-provoking messages.).  If you have usually seen comments from me on your posts in the past and are not seeing them now, it doesn’t mean that I still don’t read every single ever-loving word you post.   I don’t know what to do, and a couple of you don’t have ways to contact you on your blog, so I can’t even tell you, except by listing you here: 

www.hannahjustbreathe.wordpress.com

www.crystalspins.com

www.bugginword.com

www.textmelovemom.wordpress.com

www.mattposky.wordpress.com 

And, in another category, because he is in a category by himself anyway, www.carldagostino.wordpress.com.  I am subscribed to Carl’s blog, but I never receive his posts. 

So, please make sure you read and comment on all of these worthy bloggers, because apparently, I can’t.  And if I’ve listed you, you can all give yourselves whatever award you wish and do with it whatever you wish.  Just don’t ask me for money.

 And last, THE INEXPLICABLE:  I posted a story this week  https://lifeintheboomerlane.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/we-have-stuff-like-earrings-with-a-lot-of-breasts/ about how I came to be the proud owner of a pair of boob earrings.  And, because I am in the running for my next achievement, The Mother Teresa Award for Philanthropy in Blogging, I decided to bestow these on anyone who commented on my post and gave me the best reason for wanting them.  To my shock, people actually did respond.  I will now announce the winner:  Tori of www.torinelson.wordpress.com.  I don’t know whether I’m giving these to her because she said she deserved an award for breastfeeding or because she told me that her friend peed herself after reading my post.  And Tori, if you can do with one, I can award the other to the runner-up.  Either way, contact me secretly at renee@invisiblenomore.com and tell me where to send your prize. 

                                                            

I think I need a nap now.

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Posted in: blogging, humor, satire