(credit: visualfunhouse.com)
Everyone has a family tree. Now Husband Dan has a family tree, only the branches have a permanent bad hair day and refuse to organize themselves in any logical way. Part of this is because people in his family believe strongly in marriage and so they marry often, creating lots of half and step siblings dangling amok from branches.
NHD’s family is Turkish. This means that against their better judgment, most family members gave their children Turkish names. Turkish names are characterized by sounding like no other names on the planet, each name having a mandatory close relative that sounds just like it. Turks also like to give siblings names that sound alike, so that a mom can yell just one name, and all children will respond. For example:
Ilkim/Ilkeh/Ilgun
Ahmet/Amer
Nur/Ur
Sahavet/Shevket
Oya/Aya
NHD was named after an American friend of the family who happened to be at a social event with his parents when his mom went into labor. He drove NHD’s mom back to her house, where she could give birth. NHD’s mom then named her son after this man, thereby giving NHD the only name in the family that could be pronounced outside of Turkey.
If you are Turkish and you can find some kind of connection between people, no matter how tenuous, they are family. This gives each person approximately 3000 close relatives, some of whom like to show up at the front door and sleep in the guest room.
NHD likes to talk about his family. A lot. A typical sentence will be “Binnaz and Ilkeh are visiting Oya in Jacksonville.” I used to make the mistake of saying, “Remind me again how Binnaz is related to Oya? Isn’t she from the fourth wife of the other one’s grandfather? Or is she the one whose mother remarried her cousin?” I will then get a verbal relationship roadmap that spans several centuries and at least 12 marriages, in order to connect the two. Somewhere along the way, I realize I need a Turkish Family GPS. Now I don’t ask.
NHD keeps all this straight. Unless he doesn’t. It probably doesn’t matter anyway, when someone is knocking at the door with a big suitcase and a bigger smile. And I know that whoever this person is, they are family, and all I have to worry about is whether the sheets on the bed in the guest room are clean. And I also know that they would do the same for me, because I am Sehdane’s daughter-in-law, and she was the daughter of Shevket from his first marriage to her mother and it was the child of one of the other seven marriages that….
Lisa
March 29, 2011
LOL. My head is spinning, both from your words and that amazing picture. Where and what exactly is that?
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
I have no idea what kind of tree that is or even if the photo is real (althought it could be me on a bad hair day communicating with two other people who have hair like mine.) But it’s exactly how I feel when NHD starts talking about his family relationships.
jacquelincangro
March 29, 2011
Lovely post about how you can find a connection with someone, no matter how far removed from you they seem to be.
And that is one wacky tree!
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
Thanks, Jacquelin! And, yes, that tree is amazing. I don’t know if it’s real or photoshopped.
Kathryn McCullough
March 29, 2011
What a great post! I love it and LOVE the photo at the beginning!
I have a post about names, as well, though yours takes the prize, Renee!
http://www.reinventingtheeventhorizon.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/renaming-america/
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
I remember your post. It was funny! Names are fascinating, aren’t they? My father wanted to name me Ruth, but my mom wanted an “exotic” name. That’s how I became Renee. It’s not exotic now, but I guess way back, in a sea of Susans, Carols, and Debbies, it was different.
planejaner
March 29, 2011
Renee–
fun post!
Does NHD ever wish he was given a name that better represents his heritage?
I mean…what if my mom’s friend, ZhinTao was there when she went into labor with me???
😉
Enjoy your large, confusing, filled-with-love family–
blessings
jane
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
Oh so funny! Then Husband’s mom named her daughter after the doctor who delivered her, Dr Connie (that was her last name.) I used to think what if it were Dr Dintenfest? NHD loves his name, except he is always explaining to people that his name isn’t Daniel, it’s really just Dan. His dad was American so people probably wrongfully assume that it was a name from his dad’s family.
Tori Nelson
March 29, 2011
Love the mention of 3000 close relatives. We get the same thing in the South:
“Bubba Thrice is Bubba Junior’s cousin AND father so we call Bubba Junior just Junior so we don’t get ’em all mixed up. Now Tres (Bubba Thrice’s nickname on account of him bein’ half-Spanish-speaking) has a kids of his own: Bubbette and Bubbina”.
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
I’m cracking up. It’s like that scene in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” where everyone has the same name. I didn’t write about this, but NHD’s entire paternal family are the Boors and the Belchers. Think about that at a family reunion dinner.
TheIdiotSpeaketh
March 29, 2011
I can relate. I have a Ukrainian last name and grew up being told that “we are all related”…… I must be kin to half of the guys in the National Hockey League because they all have names similar to mine…🙂
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
They are all named Idiot? Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
1959duke
March 29, 2011
What a great picture. At least he wasn’t named after a cartoon character.
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
Really!
writerwoman61
March 29, 2011
Fun post, Renée…as you know, I have a fondness for family history. Benjamin was a very popular name in my dad’s family: my great-grandfather was Benjamin S., my great-great grandfather was Benjamin who married twice and fathered 14 children, and my 4X great grandfather was the original American immigrant Benjamin who came over from Germany at age 9. The last names in our family often changed when people emigrated from the Old Country: Schutz became Shoots, Schmidt became Smith, Braun became Brown, etc.
Good luck keeping Dan’s family straight…Jim asks me when his family members’ birthdays are!
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
My dad’s name was Benjamin! Beautiful name. Luckily, my mom’s name was not. I love stories about how names change when people arrive here. Then Husband used to check in with me every once in awhile to find out how old he was.
36x37
March 29, 2011
It sounds like NHD could have his PhD in genealogy quite easily, just as a means of surviving while trying to navigate his family tree. Look at it this way–you have a lot of people to turn to if you’re ever desperate for a loan.🙂
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
In addition to everyone running amok with marriages and names, the family history is fascinating, going back 600 years. I keep telling him to write a book. Alas, it will never be written.
sunshineinlondon
March 29, 2011
This is hilarious, Renee! And especially so as I can picture you telling this story of the Turkish names – so funny!
At least your husband knows what’s going on. Oh, he doesn’t. Oh well.
Sunshine xx
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
Thanks, Sunshine. Yes, it’s funny all right. And, as I told Tori, NHD’s dad’s family are the Boors and the Belchers. Just think about that for a moment. I’m not sure which side of the family wins.
Katybeth
March 29, 2011
So you pronounce NHD-Ned? I am a little slow.
My son has birth certificates reading: Charles Cole Jensen. Charles Cole Jensen Ruscitti, Cole Charles Ruscitti. We settled on Cole Jensen Ruscitti–but it was not easy. I only settled so I did not have to deal with social security again.
My real name was Carole Elizabeth but everyone called me Katybeth. I was never called Carole Elizabeth so my mom let me make Katybeth my legal name when I was a teenager. My cousin Bridget has been married three times…each time to a man named Michael.
Names, connections, families are tricky!
Fun post–if I ever visit Turkey I will be in touch–I am sure I can find a connection….
lifeintheboomerlane
March 29, 2011
NHD is Now Husband Dan. Wow, your son has enough names to populate a village. Bridget has the right idea. Makes life so much easier.
The Hipster
March 29, 2011
Maybe I should choose a Turkish name for my Witness Protection Program Plan. I could show up at family reunions and no one would know I don’t belong there.
lifeintheboomerlane
March 30, 2011
I actually almost wrote that same thing in my post. Seriously.
Deidre
March 30, 2011
I find family trees fascinating.
My cousin married a turkish woman and I am fairly certain they did name their twin sons very similar names! I didn’t realise that was a thing!🙂
lifeintheboomerlane
March 30, 2011
Thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane, Betty! Now Husband Dan doesn’t know if a lot of people do it but he explained to me that the Ilkim/Ilkeh thing is that Ilkim means “my first.” Ilke(h) means “at first” (or something like that). No Johns and Bobs and Susies there. The names have a meaning.
pegoleg
March 30, 2011
At least NHD’s family doesn’t name their every kid George Foreman like,.. well…, George Foreman. Think how confusing that will be when each kid starts pitching their own small kitchen appliance!
lifeintheboomerlane
March 30, 2011
You have a point, there. Are the girls named George Forman also?
pegoleg
March 30, 2011
Not sure. Maybe Georgetta?
Lunar Euphoria
April 2, 2011
Makes me want to be Turkish.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
Just marry one. It works the same way.
subWOW
April 5, 2011
YOU are hilarious! Every single line there is a hidden gem. I guess this is what a writer’s work is supposed to be like.🙂
I found it interesting that in many other cultures the definition of family is not as rigid as say in the middle-class white America. (Perhaps some of your readers would protest and I actually would appreciate a better refinement of what I am trying to pinpoint but failed) So perhaps it is not that the OTHER cultures are strange but rather that the American one is the one left to have something to be desired?
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
I am honored. Seriously. When I see one of your posts appear, I get excited (that sounds like a comment on Elly’s blog, doesn’t it). Anyway, a compliment from you is greatly appreciated. And I completely agree about the definition of family thing. One reason we don’t have it here might be that our society is such a crazy and fascinating mishmash of cultures. I don’t even know what it means to be an American (especially because I keep trying to detach myself from certain segments of the population).