Finding the Fountain of Youth Between Your Sheets

Having sex several times a week can take five to ten years off your face.  A study by British psychologist, Dr. David Weeks of the British Psychological Society, showed that sexual pleasure is a “crucial factor” in preserving youth, the New York Daily News reported.

Before we continue any further with this intellectual discourse, let us stop and ask “Whatthefuck?”

This astute writer has noticed that the first two sentences, if not mutually exclusive, may have little or no connection to each other. Assuming that having sex equals sexual pleasure is a slippery slope (no pun intended). Sex may very well equal pleasure. Or, it might simply be what one does while one is trying to figure out why the IRS takes one’s hard-earned money and leaves others off, scot-free. (It should be noted here that the term “scot-free” has nothing to do with an aversion to Scots, who are probably decent people)

Now, let us return to the study. Over the last 10 years, Weeks and his colleagues interviewed 3,500 European and American men and women on a variety of lifestyle topics. Participants ranged in age from 20 to 104, but most were 45 to 55 years old. The findings are as follows:

Sex releases the human growth hormone, which helps keep the skin elastic and thus less likely to wrinkle.

Sex also releases endorphins, which are the body’s feel-good chemicals and natural painkillers that ease anxiety and make it easier to sleep.

Sexual intercourse boosts blood circulation, which is good for the heart and gives skin that healthy glow, and it also burns fat and releases other chemicals that bolster the immune system.

The claim is that people who get lots of action look anywhere from five to ten years younger than those who don’t.

The youngest-looking participants had sex an average of three times a week, Weeks says.

For those of you who are now planning to rush out and start doing everything you can to slow down the aging process, we are about to burst your bubble. More frequent sex — more than three times a week — didn’t seem to produce any added benefits, and casual sex doesn’t seem to slow down the aging process.

Excuse me? How does one’s face know the difference between casual and committed sex? What if your committed sex is so-so and your casual sex is with some great 104-year-old who knows sex tricks he learned during the Hoover Administration? These are questions that demand further research.

Meanwhile, if you are reading this and are between the ages of say 95 and 104 and are having sex several times a week, please contact Life in the Boomer Lane.  She needs advice.