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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »satire«
I Have 10,000 Blog Followers
September 30, 2014
WordPress now tells Life in the Boomer Lane that she has 10,000 followers. She would immediately have to start purchasing larger hats were it not for several important facts: 1. She has no idea who these people are. The number of people who comment on her blog posts has actually gone down, not up. And, […]
If You Smell Like A Member of the Guns and Dope Party, I Love You
September 25, 2014
A new study in the American Journal of Political Science reveals that people find the smell of others with similar political opinions to be attractive, suggesting that one of the reasons why so many spouses share similar political views is because they were initially and subconsciously attracted to each other’s body odor. During the study, […]
Let’s Trash Books
September 22, 2014
Like finally being asked out by the cute boy at school and then finding out he has really bad breath and no personality, Life in the Boomer Lane has lately been disappointed by a couple best-selling books. These are works of fiction that have glowing recommendations from readers, and high marks from critics. LBL […]
How the Boomers Changed Sex
September 10, 2014
An apology to loyal readers of this blog and to those who arrived here because they will read anything with the word “sex” or “lubrication” in it. The following is not a boomer version of the Kama Sutra. Reading this will not allow you to cavort between the sheets as though it were 1976 […]
The Answers Issue
September 2, 2014
Time Magazine has done the impossible. Their current issue, titled The Answers Issue, has hit the newsstands. Not only does Time tackle the big questions, the ones we didn’t think had answers, it goes well beyond that. It answers questions we didn’t even know we had and questions we should be asking but aren’t. […]
I-Z, We-Z, Uzi
August 31, 2014
The tragic death of a gun instructor by a cute pink pants-wearing nine-year-old Uzi user-in-training has set off a wave of questions, starting with “Why is it necessary for a nine-year-old to learn how to operate an automatic weapon?” A spokesperson for the Uzis for Youth Movement had this to say: “Children are being raised in […]
We are getting smarter. Or, we are getting dumber.
August 13, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane, in an attempt to distract herself from the current havoc being wreaked around the planet by 1) people 2) infectious disease and 3) Bob McDonald, turned, instead, to psychological research to give her the lift she deserves. Researchers, who are immune to the flotsam and jetsam of political, religious, and […]
The Wisdom of Preschoolers
August 11, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane has had the opportunity recently to spend some quality time with her two grandsons, age five and three, if one defines quality time as a visit to a county fair, an outing on a pirate ship, a morning walk to get donuts, eating a lot of ice cream, and […]
The Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix: A Man’s Guide to Women
August 4, 2014
An alert reader sent a video to Life in the Boomer Lane titled “The Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix: A Man’s Guide to Women.” The chart was developed by Dana McLendon, a forty-something who looks like he spent a lot of time hugging the wall in social situations, trying to figure women out, before he decided […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
What Do Women Really Want?
October 6, 2014
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Reader’s Note #1: The following post is about yet one more expensive blob of scientific research To the question “What do women really want?” some men will answer “Money,” others will answer “Who the hell knows?” and those of a more prurient bent will answer “Seven inches or more.” Reader’s Note #2: Life in the […]