Life in the Boomer Lane has had the opportunity recently to spend some quality time with her two grandsons, age five and three, if one defines quality time as a visit to a county fair, an outing on a pirate ship, a morning walk to get donuts, eating a lot of ice cream, and racing from one end of the house to the other. During these quality activities, she has had time to observe their verbalizations, and to come to some conclusions.
The three-year old starts most pronouncements with an impressive “Actually…” but follows with a more age-appropriate utterance. An example is: “Actually, you are a poopie.”
The five-year old asks intriguing questions of everyone, awaits their answers, then follows with his own version of an expanded explanation. An example is “Why is De De (aka Now Husband) only hoisting one sail on his sailboat?” After being told that there is too much wind for two sails, he concludes that “The wind makes the sail go the way of the big boat and he doesn’t need the little sail because the little boat is far away.” The three-year old weighs in with “Actually, the boat is poopie.”
The five-year old likes to accost random strangers and interrogate them at length, using the same technique:
To one of the waitresses at the diner: “Why do you have these desserts in a glass case? What are they for? Why can’t you open the case so I can get them?” After being told that the desserts are only for people who order them, he continues with, “And if anyone takes a dessert without paying, you can arrest him. That’s why you are standing at the case. ”
To one of the “pirates” on the Family Pirate Cruise ship: “How can you be a pirate if you are a girl?” When told that the Family Pirate Cruise includes girl pirates, he concludes that “It’s because the girl pirates got left here when the boy pirates went on their big boat on the ocean and they left this boat that only shoots water.”
To one of the people operating a ride at the arcade at the county fair: “Why does this chart have different colors?” After being told that this is a height chart that explains how tall one has to be to ride, he concludes that “And if you aren’t tall enough, you can lay down in the little car but bigger kids can sit in the seat and see where they are going. I can sit on the seat and my brother can lay down and I can tell him what I see.”
To the person at Chuck E Cheese who takes tickets and dispenses prizes: “What about all the prizes that are on the wall behind you? Why can’t I pick one of those prizes?” When told that he doesn’t have enough tickets for those prizes, he concludes “And all of the prizes are high up so that everyone wants them but nobody can get them and then we come back to play more games but we still can’t get the prizes.” .
To Ne Ne (aka Life in the Boomer Lane): “Ne Ne, why can’t you play Super Heroes with me?” When told that Ne Ne is busy writing her blog post, he continues with “That’s why you write your blog a lot. You do it because you think you are funny and people will laugh when they read it.”
The three-year old weighs in with “Actually, Ne Ne’s blog is poopie.”