Guerrilla Aging: Navigating the Third Half of Life

December 11, 2012

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If the title confuses you, you are in the right place.  We are women navigating a part of life that hasn’t been navigated before.  Often, we do so in secret.  While the media focuses on the  younger, the firmer, the more camera-ready, we “women of a certain age” age behind the scenes, beneath the radar.  […]

Posted in: aging, women, women over 50

Aging Facefully

December 5, 2012

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A favorite activity of celeb mags, when they aren’t detailing Taylor Swift’s boyfriend du jour or the imminent break up and/or marriage of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, is to haul out photos of older actresses and to shriek “More beautiful than ever!” “Never ages!” “What is her Secret?” “These Older Actresses Get Hotter Every […]

Unicorns, Starvation, and Sparkly Fairy Dust

December 3, 2012

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  In an announcement Friday, the North Korean state news agency reported that archaeologists recently reconfirmed the discovery of the lair of a unicorn once ridden by an ancient Korean king.  According to the Korean Central News Agency, the discovery was made about 219 yards from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang. A rock that sits in […]

Posted in: humor, satire, satire as news

Boomer Breasts and the State of the Planet

November 30, 2012

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Boomer breasts, while going about their daily business in relative obscurity, have nonetheless unwittingly become symbols of the general state of our world. The Breaking up of the Polar Ice Caps: The southward journey of the Boomer breast is symbolic of the sinking of the polar ice caps, but because it is located in a […]

Alienation

November 28, 2012

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    World events have been happening so quickly in the past week that, midway through my consumption of a sweet potato and marshmallow casserole, I seriously considered blowing off  the Post-Thanksgiving-Held-on-Actual-Thanksgiving Midnight Madness at the local Walmart in order to track events as they were unfolding. We shall begin with a discovery beneath the […]

Bimbos, Dildos, and Ho-Hos

November 19, 2012

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In an event even more shocking than the removal of a 9 inch dildo from the intestines of a 30-year-old man in Zhongshan, China, the Hostess Company, purveyors of food like substances since 1930, is shutting its doors.  No longer will chubby fingers be able to pull apart such nutrient-deficient but oh-so-fun products as Sno Balls, Devil […]

Posted in: humor, satire, satire as news

Voice of Elmo, Silenced

November 18, 2012

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Fifty-two-year-old Kevin Clash, who, since 1984, has been the voice of the beloved Muppet Elmo, was recently accused of having had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy.  Clash took a leave of absence from Sesame Street after the claims surfaced. In June, a young man contacted Sesame Workshop saying he had a sexual relationship with […]

Posted in: humor, satire

If I’m Over 60, I Must Want More Children

November 17, 2012

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More Magazine, in an eye-opening new survey of 1200 women age 60-95+, explored, among other areas, marriage, mommyhood, mates, and mistakes.  While the overwhelming response of respondents was that life keeps getting better, and that, specifically, their happiest decade was after age 40 (81%), all that self-congratulatory  drivel stops when the subject of parenting comes up. […]

Fiscal Cliff Diving

November 15, 2012

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In an attempt to educate everyone about the impending “fiscal cliff,” this blogger has done some serious research, taking breaks only  to consume half a large can of salted cashews. Q. What is the fiscal cliff?  This is a good question, especially since the words “fiscal” and “cliff” are usually associated with events having extremely dire […]

Posted in: humor, politics

Hybrid Wolf/Coyotes and Urinating Democrats

November 12, 2012

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Since the beginning of time, it  has been necessary for people in communities to disseminate information to each other for their mutual benefit (“I saw a mastodon in my backyard last night.”  “That lady in the cottage three doors down is acting like a witch. Should I kill her?” “Does anyone have an extra chastity belt […]

Posted in: humor, neighbors, satire