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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »satire as news«
A Phone Conversation Between Vladimir Putin and Xi Jiping
Vladimir Putin, relaxing at home by doing 10,000 sit ups, is interrupted by a ringing phone. He picks it up. Vlad here. Talk to me. Hey Vlad, it’s Xi. We need to talk. About what? As if I couldn’t guess. Our common pain-in-the-butt. Oh right, him. Trust me, it’s way worse for me. I […]
The Whistleblower, Revealed
October 3, 2019
Scene: The Oval Office of the United States of America Characters: Donald J Trump, duly-elected President of the United States of America in spite of the efforts of a lots of really bad people who don’t want America to to Great again Other Character: Secretary of state Mike Pompeo, who we think is important but […]
An Interview With Governor Rick Scott of Florida
April 2, 2015
Although Life in the Boomer Lane might appear to be someone whose thoughts run no deeper than whatever will cause readers to spew coffee, she is, in fact, fairly appalled at the state of the planet. She is especially appalled by some of our elected officials and by those who wield enormous […]
The Dress
March 2, 2015
A recent and ongoing phenomenon around the world is the reaction people have had to “The Dress.” Most of you who are reading this will now sigh and say, “Ah, The Dress.” Those readers who have been living in their bedrooms because they have run out of clean underwear, may not be aware of what […]
I-Z, We-Z, Uzi
August 31, 2014
The tragic death of a gun instructor by a cute pink pants-wearing nine-year-old Uzi user-in-training has set off a wave of questions, starting with “Why is it necessary for a nine-year-old to learn how to operate an automatic weapon?” A spokesperson for the Uzis for Youth Movement had this to say: “Children are being raised in […]
The Unrecorded Interview Between Matt Lauer and Sarah Palin
November 12, 2013
ML: Ms Palin, you and other tea partiers have been quite vocal in your opposition to the Presidents’s Affordable care Act. Can you please give us a run through of the health care plan that you would propose? SP: I’m glad you asked me that, Matt. Let’s be clear about one thing from the get-go. […]
Living Large After Death
January 3, 2013
Despite opposition from some members of his Republican party, and despite 87% of the American population being unable to pronounce his name correctly, John Boehner today won a second term as US Speaker of the House. In another joyous development, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter have been deemed safe listening fare by the Pentagon, while anything […]
Unicorns, Starvation, and Sparkly Fairy Dust
December 3, 2012
In an announcement Friday, the North Korean state news agency reported that archaeologists recently reconfirmed the discovery of the lair of a unicorn once ridden by an ancient Korean king. According to the Korean Central News Agency, the discovery was made about 219 yards from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang. A rock that sits in […]
Alienation
November 28, 2012
World events have been happening so quickly in the past week that, midway through my consumption of a sweet potato and marshmallow casserole, I seriously considered blowing off the Post-Thanksgiving-Held-on-Actual-Thanksgiving Midnight Madness at the local Walmart in order to track events as they were unfolding. We shall begin with a discovery beneath the […]
Bimbos, Dildos, and Ho-Hos
November 19, 2012
In an event even more shocking than the removal of a 9 inch dildo from the intestines of a 30-year-old man in Zhongshan, China, the Hostess Company, purveyors of food like substances since 1930, is shutting its doors. No longer will chubby fingers be able to pull apart such nutrient-deficient but oh-so-fun products as Sno Balls, Devil […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
August 17, 2020
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