Oh the Places He’ll Go

Posted on August 22, 2019


Because the world is always changing, at least those parts which have not been consumed by fire, flood, excessive heat, or the actions that obliterate mountains and the Amazon, Life in the Boomer Lane has noted one recent change.

Politicians are required to swear in before taking office. But what they choose to swear in on is up to them. LBL knows this, compliments pf Wikipedia, inspired by Kelli Dunaway, St Louis County Councilwoman, choosing to place her hand on a copy of Dr Seuss’ beloved tome, “Oh the Places You Will Go,” as an inspiration for folks.

This fact opens up a whole new area of thought, mostly ending with “This is great stuff for my blog.” For example, LBL is entirely sure that Donald Trump is now raging that, had he known this in 2016, he would have been sworn in on a copy of “The Art of the Deal.”

Fear not, Donald. LBL has you covered. In the event that you win in 2020, here are your swearing in words for the next inauguration.

Congratulations to me! Today is my day!

I’m off to Great Places! I’m off and away!

I have brains in my head. I have feet in my shoes

I can steer myself any direction I choose

I’m on my own. And I know what I know.

What I don’t is all FAKE and a Lying Media Show.

Out there things can happen and frequently do.

But they never harm me, they only harm you.

When things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew.

Just go right along. I’ll tell you what to do.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, its true

That Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

But don’t fret at all. Be happy in fact.

Just listen to me. And watch my Politician Act.

If shoot ups occur, and they frequently do,

Just remember the NRA is always there for you.

Somehow I’ll escape all that misery and pain.

I’ll find bright places where for me there is gain.

Oh, the places I’ll go! There is fun to be done!

There are points to be scored. There are deals to be won.

Fame! I’ll be as famous can be,

with the whole wide world watching me win on TV.

I’ll put babies in cages! Trash people in Tweets!

Blame anyone and everyone if my goals I don’t meet!

I’ll make decisions that scare you, but please don’t have fear.

Know that they are made for my benefit. That’s pretty clear.

My decisions are endless, pulled straight from my butt!

And everyone knows it’s as huuuge as my gut!

When you are alone, there’s a very good chance

you’ll hear things that scare you right out of your pants.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know

With so much nonsense that spews from me, so….

Just remember that I don’t hate anyone at all.

I simply only like myself. Everyone else can take the fall.

So, be your name Howard or Arthur or Fred,

Just not Ali or Jose or Ahmed,

Today is my day! My ambition not sating!

Get out of my way! My mountain is waiting!

You’re off to great places! Whoops, I mean me!

You can just trust and adore and agree.