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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire as news«
A Brief Update on the New North Korean Smartphone
August 17, 2013
North Korea, in a stunning reversal of Precambrian technology, has announced the development of a smartphone, called the Arirang, available to all fun-loving and tech-savvy citizens of North Korea. A spokesperson for the Arirang said, “North Koreans will no longer be limited to land lines, which aren’t available anyway, or to letter writing, which has […]
How to Collect Social Security for 55 Years
May 17, 2013
The cover of the May issue of National Geographic shows a baby with the caption, “This Baby Will Live to be 120.” Inside the magazine is the article, titled “On Beyond 100.” Before diving headfirst into the article, Life in the Boomer Lane suspected it would be about the continuing rampant production of old people […]
Living Large After Death
January 3, 2013
Despite opposition from some members of his Republican party, and despite 87% of the American population being unable to pronounce his name correctly, John Boehner today won a second term as US Speaker of the House. In another joyous development, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter have been deemed safe listening fare by the Pentagon, while anything […]
Welcome to 2013. You can run, but you can’t hide.
January 1, 2013
Back on January 1, 1541, it would have been tough to predict what the coming year would bring. Nostradamus was the only high-profile prognosticator around then, but, in the absence of tweets, iPhones, and The Anderson Cooper Show, most of his predictions were unknown to the general population. Most people simply went out their daily […]
Alienation
November 28, 2012
World events have been happening so quickly in the past week that, midway through my consumption of a sweet potato and marshmallow casserole, I seriously considered blowing off the Post-Thanksgiving-Held-on-Actual-Thanksgiving Midnight Madness at the local Walmart in order to track events as they were unfolding. We shall begin with a discovery beneath the […]
Bimbos, Dildos, and Ho-Hos
November 19, 2012
In an event even more shocking than the removal of a 9 inch dildo from the intestines of a 30-year-old man in Zhongshan, China, the Hostess Company, purveyors of food like substances since 1930, is shutting its doors. No longer will chubby fingers be able to pull apart such nutrient-deficient but oh-so-fun products as Sno Balls, Devil […]
A Short Hiatus From Blogging
November 10, 2012
Like Facebook, Twitter, and Donald Trump’s brain synapses, blogging imparts a belief that one’s thoughts are vital to the well-being of the planet. A vacation from blogging imparts an awareness that world events tend to continue with or without During my hiatus from blogging, a president got re-elected, after both parties spent the equivalent of […]
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Khal Putin Banned From Netflix
March 19, 2014
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According to the Borowitz Report, in a brilliant bit of satiric wit, “In what was described as a major ramping up of sanctions, Secretary of State John Kerry announced on Tuesday that the United States had frozen Russian President Vladimir Putin’s Netflix account, effective immediately.” Life in the Boomer Lane believes that the surprise move […]