Like Facebook, Twitter, and Donald Trump’s brain synapses, blogging imparts a belief that one’s thoughts are vital to the well-being of the planet. A vacation from blogging imparts an awareness that world events tend to continue with or without
During my hiatus from blogging, a president got re-elected, after both parties spent the equivalent of the entire world expenditure during the Renaissance. Fox News continued to broadcast election predictions from the alternate universe in which it resides. The voting district with the largest concentration of African-Americans in Prince William County, Virginia, authorized purchase of enough voting machines to allow its citizens to breeze through a five-hour wait in line. The local Republican party suggested solving the problem by arresting those in line for loitering.
Post-election frivolity included a lot of pissed off billionaires and conservatives who donated 400 million dollars Karl Rove’s Crossroads PAC, which backed a bunch of losing candidates. Rove, in a statement to his defense, blamed the same random freaks of nature that caused Hurricane Sandy for the candidates’ losses.
Hurricane Sandy was proof positive for many that the dire predictions of climate change causing extreme weather events are, indeed, manifest. Others continued to maintain that HS, along with all recent record-breaking weather events (as well as the suspicious disappearance of the Arctic ice shelf) in the past 20 years, are directly attributable to something Obama did or said or thought, but should in no way be chalked up to climate change or anything else that impacts on the need to continue to bludgeon the planet and its citizens in the quest for more natural resources.
A lot of celebs got married and a lot of celebs got divorced. A lot of celebs hooked up and a lot of celebs broke up. The number one reason cited for relationship failure was “crazy schedules.” The second most often cited reason was the existence of Karl Rove.
A Chinese man was awarded 750,000 Yuan ($150,000) after suing his wife for being “ugly”. Jian Feng divorced his wife and sued her after she gave birth to an “incredibly ugly” baby, which led to him accusing his other half of cheating on him. Mrs Feng (or, as her husband refers to her, Mrs Fang) told her husband she had spent over $100,000 on plastic surgery before meeting him. The court ruled in his favor after he claimed he had been deceived and that she got him to marry her under false pretenses. Neither Karl Rove nor Barak Obama were implicated in any way in this case.
And, finally, for those of you who need to hear your words in William Shatner’s voice, there is now “Shatoetry,” is the official William Shatner app. “Shatoetry lets you arrange words to compose sentences, statements, phrases, messages… and hear William Shatner perform them for you. You can save the Shatisms you create, send them to your friends by email, and share them through social media. You can team up with other Shatoetists through GameCenter and co-create with your friends online. Or pass it around the room to take turns Shatoetizing with that person next to you.” For an additional $.99, you can rub your iPhone all over your private parts and hear William Shatner’s voice saying “Oooh baby, that’s right, uh huh, you make me so hot, oh yeah.”
Stay tuned for antics from the fiscal cliff.
one’s input.
Carl D'Agostino
November 10, 2012
Hiatus from blogging? Having endured the things you describe I wish I could take one from this planet.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Sad but true.
morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer
November 10, 2012
I feel a hiatus coming on strongly. Is Carl Rove responsible?
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Yes, for that and for my upper arm fat.
speaker7
November 10, 2012
How is it that I missed the Shatner app? I feel deprived almost as much as I felt deprived of your wit while you cavorted in the real world. Glad your back (read this in William Shatner’s voice)
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Not sure how back I am. The thrill is gone. But I see that you have accummulated legions of devoted followers and I am so happy (and not surprised). You have left Matt Laurer in the dust and have sought higher targets. Bravo.
Barneysday
November 10, 2012
Well done, still laughing! It’s been less than a week, and the excuses from the republiCANTS, Rove and FIX News are piling up like snowdrifts in New York.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
I haven’t had the courage to jump into the swill that must be spewing forth.
Lynne Spreen
November 10, 2012
Oh, there you are. I did get an email that you posted. Welcome back. And after Shatner composes Shatoetry, might we say he has shat?
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Good one, Lynne. Very, very good.
ryoko861
November 10, 2012
So in other words, you didn’t miss much.
🙂
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Good way to put it.
cuckoo
November 10, 2012
Glad you’re back.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Thanks, Cuckoo. Don’t know how back I am, though.
k8edid
November 10, 2012
Gawd, I missed you…
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Thanks, Katy. It was interesting: In the couple of months I didn’t post, my stats stayed exactly the same. I thought why am I even bothering to write anything? My blog had become the Headless (Personless) Horseman.
notquiteold
November 10, 2012
You must be so glad to be back. Otherwise you might have missed the most earth-shattering news of all: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have broken up!
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
I saw the blurb about the Bieber/Gomez break up and thought about writing something but the thought immediately activated my IBS.
Marianne Maxwell Parise
November 11, 2012
So glad you’re back!!
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Thanks, Marianne, but it feels like I’m just visiting.
benzeknees
November 11, 2012
Glad to see you back, you bring so much clarity to what has been going on in the world for the last little while.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
I guess the surreal political atmosphere we have created in this country, combined with the nonsense in my head, equals clarity.
Snoring Dog Studio
November 11, 2012
Welcome back! Let the games begin – wait, they’ve already started in Congress!
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
I’m so afraid to see what comes up next. It’s like a dog and pony show, except the dog is rabid and the pony is actually a space alien. Something like that.
Snoring Dog Studio
November 12, 2012
Yep!
Swanlady
November 11, 2012
Well done! Glad you’re back
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Thanks, SL.
nrhatch
November 11, 2012
Hope you enjoyed your blogging hiatus and didn’t feel too guilty about leaving us to fend for ourselves on the humor front. 😉
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Ha ha. Methinks there are countless others online who are far more adept at the humor stuff. You were in good hands.
Patricia
November 11, 2012
Life went on without you but the laughs were peculiar not funny…glad you’re back.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Thanks, Patricia.
Valentine Logar
November 12, 2012
Your words are important to some of us. Your hiatus left us wanting.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 12, 2012
Ah, Valentine, I do appreciate your words.
Deborah the Closet Monster
November 12, 2012
It’s so good to see you back! There’s nobody who makes me chuckle (and feel mirth over things that otherwise make me feel like shaking a fist) quite like you do.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 13, 2012
Thanks, Deborah, although my conflicted thoughts about blogging continue. I should write a post about that.
Sandra Parsons
November 15, 2012
Looks like even in hiatus you took more notice about the goings-on in the world than I did in my baby-induced absentia. Hope you’ll stay around a bit, you are my go-to gal when I want to know what I have missed.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 15, 2012
Taking care of a baby is the highest form of human endeavor.
jlheuer
November 20, 2012
Love this post. Welcome back.
ajwhit10
November 26, 2012
I’m new to you as of today, and I’ve loved what I’ve read so far! Please keep writing your blog, at least occasionally!