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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »observation«
Zombie Pustules From Outer Space
April 25, 2011
There are a lot of rules that are important to one’s medical health. One is: Don’t have a medical emergency on Easter Sunday. The other is: If you have to have a medical emergency on Easter Sunday, don’t talk about “Mafia Wives.” My friend Joyce broke both of those rules. The day went like this: Arrival of […]
I’ll Have Two Elf Ears and a Side of Bacon
April 19, 2011
Thanks to AARP, I have been alerted to a new trend in man’s ongoing quest for perfection: elf ears. AARP states that “Body modification artists cut the tops of young people’s ears and sew them back together in a pointed shape.” The segment is titled, “Ah, Youth! Sometimes we don’t miss it.” I don’t […]
Voyage to the Center of My Intestines
April 12, 2011
In modern medicine’s quest to find the reason for Life in the Boomer Lane’s anemia, she has so far had three procedures. The first two were colonoscopy and endoscopy, detailed in a heartfelt yet humorous post. Yesterday, LBL had a third procedure: a “capsule endoscopy,” sometimes referred to as a “video endoscopy.” This procedure uses a […]
Ouija Board: A Do-It-Yourself Seance
April 11, 2011
Before reading this post, you need to set aside all judgments you have about psychics, paranormal activity, spirits, and Langhorne, PA. Keep an open mind, as we take a trip into The Land of That Which Cannot Be Explained But Neither Can Anything Else. Now Husband Dan and I spent the weekend visiting my […]
What’s Cookin’ in De Despot’s Pot
April 8, 2011
In its never-ending quest to provide Life in the Boomer Lane with hilarity to comment about, this week’s Newsweek has an article titled “The Despot Index,” in which information about popular despots is given in a number of categories. Ten despotic-looking characters are represented, ranging from the cutting-edge leisureware fashionista Kim Jong-Il, to the next scheduled speaker at […]
A Cat By Any Other Name
April 7, 2011
Let’s make a few things really clear: Life in the Boomer Lane is not a cat person. If you go into her house and see a cat (or a cat screaming to get into her house,) it’s because she is cat-sitting. Her daughter owns the cat, which she named Miracle. LBL thinks most modern miracles typically involve […]
Blogging. Clogging. Whatever.
April 5, 2011
I think I Googled “clogging” instead of “blogging” It’s been a great week in Blogopolis: I get a lot of positive comments from people in other countries that WordPress labels Spam. Some of them submit their comments in languages I don’t speak. Others submit in languages that no one on the planet speaks. And sometimes, […]
Snooki Speaks at Rutgers University
April 4, 2011
I have my blog post written for today. I’m not going to use it. On my way to the gym, I listened to someone talking about Snooki, the squat, always-drunk member of the “Jersey Shore” TV reality show and car-wreck-in-progress cast. On Thursday, she spoke at Rutgers University. She was paid $32,000 to do so. She told […]
The Monetization of Hopscotch
April 1, 2011
Seriously. Life in the Boomer Lane has never, even in a drug-induced Happyland stupor while seated in Dr Gerald’s dental chair, ever thought about blogging about Hopscotch. Come on now. Hopscotch? Is there a more basic children’s game? Yes, there is. That one where you hide something in your hand and shove both fists in front […]
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Osama Bin Laden: The Expose
May 2, 2011
42
It is only now that Osama Bin Laden is finally dead, that certain questions can be answered: What’s up with the woman’s clothes thing? Reports have established that Osama Bin Laden regularly went about disguised as a woman. As he was bearded and he is believed to have been somewhere between 6’4” and 6’6”, it […]