Let’s make a few things really clear: Life in the Boomer Lane is not a cat person. If you go into her house and see a cat (or a cat screaming to get into her house,) it’s because she is cat-sitting. Her daughter owns the cat, which she named Miracle. LBL thinks most modern miracles typically involve something that can’t be explained. The only thing Miracle has in common with an actual miracle is that she can’t be explained either. LBL’s daughter got Miracle in her senior year of college and realized she couldn’t keep her. Her daughter will be 35 next month. LBL is still waiting for her to take her cat back.
Miracle has, over the years, shown an inordinate talent in various categories:
- She can remain on the roof and front windshield of LBL’s car without flying off, while LBL is speeding along.
- While she is incapable of noticing squirrels, dogs or other cats in her immediate vicinity, she is able to spot an ant across the room. In fact, she is able to spot ants where they don’t actually exist and, at such times, can do a pretty on target imitation of someone with St Vitus Dance who has a terrible case of poison ivy and also has to pee really badly.
- Her main hobby is staring at blank walls, which LBL thinks is either an homage to her time in the sixties or an indication that although she never actually flew off the roof of LBL’s car, a lot of her brain cells might have.
- She has figured out how to get into a Chinese lacquer piece of furniture thingy where LBL keeps some of her clothes. No matter how tightly the doors are closed or how many locks are put on them, she gets in. She nests in there for hours, shedding fur as fast as John Boehner sheds tears. LBL has tried everything to keep her out, including putting barriers up. LBL has given up. All of her clothes now look like Chia Pets.
- Unlike most cats who only react unfavorably to an empty bowl, Miracle has powers of prognostication. She freaks out when she sees even a tiny part of the bottom of her food dish, an indication to her that she might possibly run out of food.
On second thought, scratch #5. LBL does the same thing herself.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Mrs. H.
April 7, 2011
Haha! Sounds like Miracle’s just a typical feline. My girls (Callie and Beatrice) are just wonderful…I’m in love with them. But I’m convinced that the sudden staring at a blank wall or spot on the ceiling is a game. “Let’s see if we can trick the human into staring at something.” And when I look at the wall and back at them, they’re looking somewhere else or “smiling” with their eyes…which I take to mean that they’re laughing at me, lol.
They’re also incredible hunters. They see the eensy little bug in the house way before I do, which reduces the number of times a bug surprises me. Which I appreciate. Because I look rather foolish when surprised by a bug.
Miracle is so pretty…she looks so similar to my Callie. Also, I think that if you’ve been “cat-sitting” for longer than the cat was in your daughter’s possession, you’ve officially become the “owner” of said cat. 😉 Hate to break it to you!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
Damn. Who made that rule?
Mrs. H.
April 8, 2011
I think it’s established in the handbook to “Finders Keepers: Losers Weepers,” 4th ed. I think.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 8, 2011
I’m weeping.
Simone Benedict
April 7, 2011
Honestly, and I realize I probably stand alone in my opinion but I think like the horse, the feline was never meant to be domesticated. I think this huge domestication mistake explains a lot. But that’s just one lone woman’s opinion.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
I also think cats are just a wee bit behind dogs in the evolutionary thing. Give them another million years. They’ll be fine.
pegoleg
April 7, 2011
Our cat started peeing on the living room curtains around Christmas time. Having failed in all attempts to stop this, I bought new curtains and now she’s not allowed in there.
My husband and I were sitting in the living room the other night and suddenly heard a noise; someone was trying the doorknob. Scared the (bleep) out of us! Turns out the cat climbed onto the chair next to the knob, and was trying to turn it with her paw.
Cat’s are very clever and kind of creepy.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
Or kind of clever and very creepy.
pegoleg
April 7, 2011
You may be right.
planejaner
April 7, 2011
oh my, I LOVE Miracle. She is perfect.
I, as you may gather, AM a cat person.
Your post made me get the chuckles.
and, I love Miracle.
Did I mention that?
I bet secretly, just a smidge, you sort of kind of maybe just a little…wish she would die. 😉
kidding.
blessings
jane
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
Now Husband Dan makes jokes like that, after he says things like “I’m sure the cat has a respiratory infection” or “Seriously, the cat has a neurological problem.” He has been doing this for four years. Meanwhile, in the 13 (or 40) years I’ve been catsitting her, she has never ever been sick. Ever.
TexasTrailerParkTrash
April 7, 2011
First off, dogs have owners; cats have staff.
My parents had a cat named George that they got from a pet boarding place when his people left him there and didn’t come back for him. Maybe he had abandonment issues or something, but one time after my parents hosted a small dinner party for friends, George was nowhere to be found.
My folks called out for him all around inside their house and outside to no avail. Since they lived in a hilly area that was prone to coyote cat-nappers, they feared the worst. About eighteen hours after he disappeared my distraught mother opened the door to the big buffet console where she kept her table linens to put back some place mats from the party. Lying there, blinking in the light and just as calm as you please, was George. He’d gotten into the buffet when my mother left the door open before the party and had just gone to sleep when he found himself shut in. We should all be so relaxed.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
I want to sleep in a buffet with fancy linens.
Tori Nelson
April 7, 2011
Haha. Amen to #5. I like to think the food will keep coming… FOREVER 🙂
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
In a perfect world, it would.
Amy
April 7, 2011
I prefer dogs, but we do own a cranky, 16 year old cat. He loves to be scratched on his rear until the precise moment when he doesn’t like it anymore and he attacks your hand with teeth and claws. No warning. Just love, love, love, HATE!
My dogs would never be so rude.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
Miracle does the same thing: I love you, I love you, I love you, I HATE YOU AND I WILL SCRATCH YOUR EYEBALLS OUT. Many more eons needed to evolve. Sigh.
Alaina Mabaso
April 7, 2011
When I was a child, my parents became smitten with a barn kitty at a family event we attended. My father in particular was not acquainted with how long cats actually live. When my brother moved out in his twenties, my dad paid him hundreds of dollars to take the cat with him (they knew I wouldn’t have done it for any amount of money). Here is the full story if you are interested: “Everybody’s Trying to Get Rid of a Cat; or, A Brief History of Pumpiekins”
http://alainamabaso.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/everyones-trying-to-get-rid-of-a-cat-or-a-brief-history-of-pumpiekins/
I have been worried many times over the years to see college/twenty-something peers blithely adopt cats without thinking very much about it. Who knows what happens to the cats after a few years (or months). How nice of you to take your daughter’s. I think that should qualify as your good deed for life.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
I just read about Pumpkin. What a charming story. I’m always a softie about animals. I may not have several of them, but I adore them. And, as long as a cat doesn’t hurl itself through the air in my direction with claws out, they are OK as well.
Gayane
April 7, 2011
I love Miracle, she is a good cat, she does not frighten me. I have been cat sitting for a friend of mine all week. There are two of them, one of me. They seem to know the odds are against me. They both sit along a wall and just watch me. I babble and coo at them, their response: stoic stares. They just watch me do my thing: refill their water dish, top up their food, put some of their toys out in a futile attempt to make friends, they continue to stare. I finally give in and go away until next time. These cats frighten me, Miracle is a good cat…….
lifeintheboomerlane
April 7, 2011
Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.
Kathryn McCullough
April 8, 2011
Ahhhh, though we don’t have any right now, I AM very much a cat person! However, I must say, from the photo is looks like Miracle has never had an empty bowl–EVER–But then again, I look the same way!
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
April 8, 2011
Yes, Miracle is a lifetime member of the Full Bowl Club. As am I.
Dana
April 8, 2011
Hello and greetings from a new subscriber! I’ve come over to your blog (aka The Dark Side?) on the recommendations of Kathryn McCullough and Tori Nelson. 🙂
First of all: Dogs > Cats
Secondly: I think Miracle is a great name for a pet
Thirdly: It is miraculous that you have kept this cat of your “daughter’s” for over 10 years, especially if you are not a cat person
Fourthly: This means that the name ‘Miracle’ really *does* makes sense for this particular cat.
Looking forward to reading more of your posts!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 8, 2011
Hi Dana, and welcome to my alternate universe. I’m honored that Tori and Kathy sent you my way. Good point about the Miracle name!
writerwoman61
April 8, 2011
[swabbing tea out of my keyboard…again!]
I love your “Miracle” posts! “at such times, can do a pretty on target imitation of someone with St Vitus Dance who has a terrible case of poison ivy and also has to pee really badly.” Funniest. Description. Ever!
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
April 8, 2011
Thanks, Wendy! Yes, I think all of our keyboards suffer the consequences of reading some of each other’s posts!
barb7802
April 9, 2011
I agree with Wendy on the description. I may plagiarise that at a later date? Cats were meant to domesticated. They keep our egos in check. I have had my share of smarty pants cats! Oh, my! I sound like a parent don’t I?
The staring bit just gives me the jitters at times. Last night, Milly stares at the ceiling, then to the wall, jerks toward the window, fluffs her tail then hisses! It was a full night.
And yes, that cat belongs to you. I believe you secretly adore her! I won’t tell.
Barb
lifeintheboomerlane
April 9, 2011
Plagiarize away! My daughter accuses me of adoring Miracle, as well. I try to play hard to get. Maybe cats see an alternate universe that we can’t. Or spirits from beyond. There must be some explanation for the bizarre behavior.
Allison
April 9, 2011
I am not a cat person either. I such, I think I will dissuade Abby from any future pet adoptions…particularly when in the transient state of college.
I’m not a dog person either. Because of my dog. Zoe- age 12. She has a very demanding bark. And she scoots, shets, snorts, snores, and all numbers of icky things. Her saving grace is that Abby adores her. And I’m all talk.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 11, 2011
As I am also.
daughter
April 11, 2011
I actually turn 35 THIS month. Achem, mother.
Also, you’re not cat-sitting. And your Now-Husband loves the cat.
And the Miracle is that your used red BMW convertible (long since gone) that you loved so much was found by police the same day my ex-boyfriend procured the kitten for me. So thank her every day for that.
Also, I know you love her.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 11, 2011
But I should be allowed to exercise artistic license, no?
Marion Driessen
April 14, 2011
Cats are amazing creatures. Sometimes they seem incredible wise and the next moment they have a blank look, with the tip of their tongue hanging out. Wonderful 😀 And yes, I’m a cat person. But also a dog person!
Lunar Euphoria
April 15, 2011
Funny post. 🙂
I don’t remember ever being catless. I don’t even want to imagine being catless! In the words of Anna Pigeon, “Home is where the cat is.”
purplepeaceandlove
April 18, 2011
Like you, I was never really a cat person until my dad convinced my mom to let him have one. I believed it wasn’t a good idea to get a cat because we already had full-grown labrador pointer around the house. But, the two animals became brothers since the day they first met. Like Miracle, my cat Monty (short for Monticello) does some unusual things. He tries to escape everytime we open the door of the house. He just sprints out like his tail was on fire, and he runs across the main street through traffic over to our neighbor’s garden. My cat has also mastered the ability to play the obstacle course on Wii Fit (strange right?). I have also witnessed him climbing the brick wall outisde of our house like if he was on a jungle gym. Do all cats act as crazy as mine?
lifeintheboomerlane
April 18, 2011
I think most cats are pretty crazy. or elese they just need about another million years to get fully domesticated. But you should put your cat on you tube, doning the Wii Fit. That is hilarious. Thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane, and thanks for your comments!