I think I Googled “clogging” instead of “blogging”
It’s been a great week in Blogopolis:
I get a lot of positive comments from people in other countries that WordPress labels Spam. Some of them submit their comments in languages I don’t speak. Others submit in languages that no one on the planet speaks. And sometimes, the ones written in English are so deep and profound that I have no idea what the hell they are saying. A few days ago, I got the following in response to my post about colonoscopies. It was written in English, or rather, it made liberal use of English words and phrases. The identifying name was in Hebrew:
“Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the internet the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about worries that they plainly don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side-effects, people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks.”
So, thanks, Person With Hebrew Name, for contributing a new awareness to a topic that is, for most of us, merely annoying and/or distasteful. I will remember your words in 10 years while I am purging for my next colonoscopy.
*****
A couple days later, Tori of The Ramblings gave me a Versatile Blogger Award, which basically means I can do anything I want with it. What I would really like to do with it would be to put it on my resume when I write to literary agents, but I’m not sure that would be a good thing. I’ve heard tell that literary agents have basketball tournaments with crumpled up submissions. But, back to Tori: I told Tori she was dropped into The South from another planet in order to make hilarious observations about everything around her. I don’t know where she’s actually from, but I hope she stays right where she is so she can continue to do so. She’s now planning an actual wedding based on input from other bloggers, which is evidence of either Tori’s deep trust of the loving, supportive network that bloggers create, or she is going to submit this as a proposal for a TV reality show.
I follow a fair number of bloggers, and they are all worth reading. You can see their links to the right of this post. I’d like to name a couple bloggers specifically, because they are consistently funny and because I don’t think most of the people I follow follow them (but maybe I’m wrong):
Elly of Buggin Word Elly has a big fanbase. She is a gifted writer even though most of the words she uses consist of uke (which she plays beautifully, while she sings beautifully) and vagina (which gives her an enormous amount of pleasure to have) and uterus (which now houses a mini male or female version of Elly) and poop. I think Elly is really funny, in that way that makes you really grateful you are out of school and not sitting next to her in fifth grade.
Myra of My Parents Are Crazier Than Yours Before I started reading Myra’s blog, I looked at the title and I thought, OK, I only had one crazy parent, but I think the rest of my family more than compensated. I was wrong. Myra wins. By a wide margin. Plus, she lives with them, which, at age 40, is some kind of achievement they don’t even make awards for.
36x37
April 5, 2011
Congrats on the award! And–congrats on receiving such a profound colonoscopy comment. That made me giggle over my tea this morning. Happy Tuesday!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
I think he really understood the essence of colonoscopy.
Simone Benedict
April 5, 2011
I also extend congratulations on the award. Also, I hope the person offering the colonoscopy comment eventually visits my blog. Pretty complex sentence construction going on X-/
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
I’ll send him/her/it your way.
carldagostino
April 5, 2011
I get these too. Seems like some oriental or Arabic poor translation. Rick says they are hackers, advertisers, or whack jobs with some untrustworthy motive and to spam them.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
I always do, but this one was so, um, creative.
Tori Nelson
April 5, 2011
Those foreign commenters sure are wordy! Haha!
I accidentally mentioned to The Mister that I get a lot of messages from Cialis. He now feels certain that I blog about genitalia 😦
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
That is so funny. Do you think all of our spouses/sig others think we are spilling the beans about everything in our posts?
Amy
April 5, 2011
I get a “profound” comment like that one every once in a while. They are fun to try to disect and actually make sense of.
I already read (and love) Myra’s blog, but I’ll have to go check out Elly . . .
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
Elly is hilarious and her uke/singing videos are really cool. I think there is a machine being marketed in non-English speaking countries that spits out various phrases at random. Somewhere, in all of those comments, is the meaning of life. I’m sure of this.
Elly Lou
April 5, 2011
You really hit the nail on the top with that description of my writing. Will you fix my resume? And ps? *slurp*
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
I will. And the *slurp* is all the payment I require.
sunshineinlondon
April 5, 2011
Congratulations on another award, Renee. Your comment is astounding – as a former colleagues used to say, it really hit the hammer on the nail. Reminds me of the one I got from How Amny Calories in Chicken Chow Mein Healthy.
Hugs from London
Sunshine xx
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
I have now read the How Amny… comment about 10 times. By the 10th time it was sounding pretty darn deep.
planejaner
April 5, 2011
Renee–
the comment is hysterical. Since I moved offsite to self-host, Akismet catches, on average, 100 spams A DAY. Most are in Russian, and some sort of middle-eastern language…
and, most are trying to comment on “Taboo Topic Monday: What happens when you just can’t last until the end” ( a post about premature adulation…clapping too soon before a live-performance piece is all the way done…) and the one on the universe trying to tell me i need Valium.
it’s AH-MAZING to me how much spam goes out–all the phising and casting…
anyway-if nothing else, it’s nice to know you have a place to stay with your Hebrew friend if and when you go to…Hebrewland.
Blessings
jane
lifeintheboomerlane
April 5, 2011
Or he could be from another planet, masquerading as Hebrew Man. Meanwhile, I think I am missing your posts again. Aaargh.
planejaner
April 5, 2011
Renee–
I haven’t put a new post up in days–one is scheduled for after 2pm PST–if you don’t get that one, then yes…you’re out in the cold…;(
otherwise…probably not…I don’t think I’ve posted since last Friday…
😉
blessings
jane
writerwoman61
April 6, 2011
Thanks for sharing the “Hebrew comment”, Renée…I hadn’t gotten caught up on my reading yet. So what he’s saying about colonoscopies is: “Don’t worry…be happy?”
Congrats on the award too! I’ve been to Elly’s place before (through Lin), but haven’t visited Myra yet!
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
April 6, 2011
Whatever he’s saying is deep and profound. So you might be right.
Kathryn McCullough
April 6, 2011
Wish I could top the colonoscopy comment, but I’m not that much fun! What a hoot! You always, always, always make me laugh!
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
April 6, 2011
Thanks, Kathy!
Emily Jane
April 6, 2011
Congrats on the award! And the comment was hilarious 🙂
lifeintheboomerlane
April 6, 2011
I’m still trying to decipher its cosmic meaning.
Lunar Euphoria
April 6, 2011
Yay for awards!
And that international commenter’s comment read like the things the natives write in academia land.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 6, 2011
That’s funny!
My Parents Are Crazier Than Yours
April 6, 2011
Thank you for making my day with this award, Renee! What an honor not only to receive this – but to hear from you with consistently wise, articulate and heartfelt comments.
I’m still trying to decipher that person’s comment – although one thing can be sure – no one “hits the nail on the top” like you do!
Big hugs! –M
lifeintheboomerlane
April 6, 2011
And thanks for always writing something worth reading. What I really love about your writing is that no matter how crazy your parents get, your love for them shines through.
merrilymarylee
April 6, 2011
Tried the Myra link and got this message:
Ooops…Where did you get such a link ?
Server cannot locate what you are looking for!
The Server tried all of its options before returning this page to you.
You don’t think her parents have her locked away, do you?
lifeintheboomerlane
April 6, 2011
That’s funny. She’s at http://www.myparentsarecrazierthanyours.com
omawarisan
April 6, 2011
Congrats on the award. If writing to an agent on it doesnt work, would you let me know? My next idea is to write on a platinum ingot, but the award might be more economical.
With you on Elly Lou’s singing and writing…I’m sure I’ll enjoy Myra’s place too
lifeintheboomerlane
April 6, 2011
I never thought of a platinum ingot. If that doesn’t work, we could send miniature lap giraffes with the proposals taped to their heads. Seriously, is there anything on earth that would get the attention of an agent? I mean beside an exploding manuscript.
The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife
April 6, 2011
I check my spam folder often in hopes of discovering a hidden gem of a comment, but, it’s always incoherent rubbish. You’re so lucky to receive words of wisdom in your spam.
🙂 Congrats on the award!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 6, 2011
Thanks for reading and commenting! Yes, I’m lucky that way. You know how you inadvertantly stick you hand under a table and there is a big wad of gum stuck to the underside and for a moment you get really sick to your stomach? I find wisdom in that, as well. Then I barf.
territerri
April 9, 2011
I am the person with Hebrew name. Sorry to confuse you. I just wanted you to know how much I hate it when I think about worries that I plainly don’t know about. Those worries are SO much worse than the ones I DO know about.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 9, 2011
Thanks for coming forward, Person With Hebrew Name. And thanks for clarifying, as only you can.