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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »satire«
The Case Against Science
July 31, 2013
Kentucky, home of The Creation Museum, has now become a hotbed of controversy over the issue of teaching science to children. While some people (and you know who you are) may still believe that the world is flat and bloodletting the preferred way to cure what ails you, the US government is attempting to get […]
School for Scandal
July 29, 2013
Instructor: I’d like everybody’s attention, please. Welcome to “How to Respect Women,” a workshop tailored specifically for politicians. We will undo a lifetime of womanizing in two weeks. Are we ready? Eliot Spitzer: You have nice boobs, Teacher. Instructor: Mr Spitzer, we will refrain from references to female anatomy in this class. Is that understood? […]
The Link Between Physical Attractiveness and Relationship Success Part 2
July 19, 2013
On April 15, 2012, Life in the Boomer Lane posted a piece titled “The Link Between Physical Attractiveness and Relationship Success.” This post, like all of her others, was appreciated by an elite group of people who weren’t otherwise concerned with any number of actual issues we all face that are sucking the life out […]
When Good GPS’s Go Bad
July 15, 2013
The circumstances of Life in the Boomer Lane’s jet set lifestyle involved Now Husband making a reservation at a hotel near the Newark Airport, picking her up at the airport, and driving to the hotel. LBL will give you no other details about where she was coming from, why she and Now Husband had to […]
Hillary Clinton: Ageism, Sexism, and Scarlett Johansson
July 10, 2013
As the New York Times noted back on June 29, “The 2016 election may be far off, but one theme is becoming clear: Republican strategists and presidential hopefuls, in ways subtle and overt, are eager to focus a spotlight on Mrs. Clinton’s age. The former secretary of state will be 69 by the next presidential […]
The National Friendship Crisis
July 9, 2013
You know the 450 Friends you have on Facebook? The ones who comment on all the photos of the babies and puppies you post? The ones who are wearing out their thumbs liking every thought you share from your daily inspirational calendar? The ones who never seem to forget your birthday? They are a myth. […]
An Archaeological Dig, Without Leaving Home
July 1, 2013
It occurred to me over the past year that my children will never remove the approximately 100 large boxes stored in my attic. They have good reasons, mostly consisting of “We have no place for it.” I even resorted to saying “When I die, all you will do is throw everything out in the trash […]
Supermensch
June 18, 2013
After having planned either an in depth analysis of the current armed insurrection in Syria or the IRS targeting certain groups here at home, this writer casually picked up her current copy of AARP Magazine and was rendered (almost) speechless to discover little known facts about Superman. Item Number 4 should have not only been […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Butts, Boobs, and Botox
August 2, 2013
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Life in the Boomer Lane has noticed that every time she writes anything about plastic surgery, her comments are flooded by the likes of: Plastic surgery is disgusting. I would never alter my appearance in any way, shape, or form. Don’t we all have better things to spend our money on? With all the terrible […]