Butts, Boobs, and Botox

Posted on August 2, 2013


Life in the Boomer Lane has noticed that every time she writes anything about plastic surgery, her comments are flooded by the likes of:

Plastic surgery is disgusting. I would never alter my appearance in any way, shape, or form.

Don’t we all have better things to spend our money on?

With all the terrible things going on in the world, why would anyone devote their energy to this?

I have better things to do with my time and money than this.

I love my sags and my wrinkles and my age spots and my boils and pustules and carbuncles and I would never do anything to change them.

I despise anyone who has plastic surgery and would shoot them on sight except I am a pacifist and also despise people who own guns.

This is all really interesting, since plastic surgery not only continues to grow at unprecedented rates, but it’s boomers who are at the forefront of it all. LBL must conclude that those folks are afraid to comment, while the plastic surgery haters are out in full force.

This post is for those of you who have your plastic surgeon on speed dial, or who are considering plastic surgery, or who are continuing to tell friends and family that you have had absolutely nothing done, no way Jose, and you don’t understand why your eyelids are no longer working.

2012 saw a record number of people undergoing cosmetic procedures, with more than 14.6 million procedures performed in total, an increase of 5% over the year before. Actual surgery is down slightly, while minimally invasive surgery continues to rise. Men are having more and more cosmetic surgery.

There are plastic surgery vacations and getaways all over the world, including plastic surgery safaris to Africa. There are probably plastic surgery trips into space, for those with the money and a penchant for space food. Dermatologists, ophthalmologists, gynecologists and dentists have jumped on the plastic surgery bandwagon. It’s a matter of time before podiatrists, pediatricians and psychiatrists start doing procedures.

Why all the plastic surgery, you ask? If you can’t figure it out, go back to spending your time thinking about how Russia’s offer of political asylum to Edward Snowden may have dire consequences for the upcoming peace talks.
For the rest of you, the big news on the plastic surgery front is that boobs and butts are now taking a backseat, (notice the clever use of the words “front” and “backseat”) while facial procedure are on the rise. For the first time in years, the number of people enhancing their breasts and plumping their buttocks is declining. The number of people lifting, injecting and lasering their faces is growing. According to one doctor, “Our nation appears to be shifting its emphasis from the inflated busts and rounded behinds of Generation X and Y to the plumped cheeks and lifted necks of baby boomers.”

Botox remains the #1 procedure, followed by line fillers such as Restylane and Juvederm. Laser treatments are also on the rise. The prediction is that the number of baby boomers undergoing face lifts and eyelid lifts will rise dramatically in the coming years.
The question is, what happens when the aging process makes injectibles alone not as successful, but a full blown face lift not appealing? Plastic surgeons are dealing with that, as well. The Lifestyle Lift has been around for years.

Another example is Philadelphia Plastic surgeon, Kirk Brandow, “inspired by requests from Boomer patients” to develop a procedure that would fill the gap between fillers and face lifts. Enter “The Brandow Boomer Lift.” Procedure such as these are designed to take years off your face, while you can still tell people you’ve never had a facelift.

What does all this mean to the average boomer? You can take comfort in knowing that procedures are out there if you ever decide to take advantage of them. And, because you have aged since the time you started reading this post, you will always have a steady supply of icky things you want taken care of. If, on the other hand, you want to spend your time on either world peace or on taking a concealed weapons class, do that instead. It’s a free country, right? Well, sort of. But that’s the stuff of another post.