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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »humor«
A Cat By Any Other Name
April 7, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Let’s make a few things really clear: Life in the Boomer Lane is not a cat person. If you go into her house and see a cat (or a cat screaming to get into her house,) it’s because she is cat-sitting. Her daughter owns the cat, which she named Miracle. LBL thinks most modern miracles typically involve […]
Blogging. Clogging. Whatever.
April 5, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I think I Googled “clogging” instead of “blogging” It’s been a great week in Blogopolis: I get a lot of positive comments from people in other countries that WordPress labels Spam. Some of them submit their comments in languages I don’t speak. Others submit in languages that no one on the planet speaks. And sometimes, […]
Snooki Speaks at Rutgers University
April 4, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I have my blog post written for today. I’m not going to use it. On my way to the gym, I listened to someone talking about Snooki, the squat, always-drunk member of the “Jersey Shore” TV reality show and car-wreck-in-progress cast. On Thursday, she spoke at Rutgers University. She was paid $32,000 to do so. She told […]
The Monetization of Hopscotch
April 1, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Seriously. Life in the Boomer Lane has never, even in a drug-induced Happyland stupor while seated in Dr Gerald’s dental chair, ever thought about blogging about Hopscotch. Come on now. Hopscotch? Is there a more basic children’s game? Yes, there is. That one where you hide something in your hand and shove both fists in front […]
Lost in Space
March 30, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Actual items LBL has lost, which are now orbiting the earth According to Newsweek, NASA scientists want to build a cheap, earthbound laser that could zap away the “space junk” orbiting the earth. The zapper wouldn’t make the items disappear. Rather it would simply push the debris further out into space, so that incoming spacecraft […]
Name That Turk
March 29, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
(credit: visualfunhouse.com) Everyone has a family tree. Now Husband Dan has a family tree, only the branches have a permanent bad hair day and refuse to organize themselves in any logical way. Part of this is because people in his family believe strongly in marriage and so they marry often, creating lots of half […]
That’s not my purse. It’s my kidney.
March 28, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
In an attempt to add body snatching to the list of endangered job descriptions, scientists are perfecting ways to grow organs (the kind usually found inside the body) in a lab. These “bioartificial” organs are identical to the ones produced when your father grabbed his crotch one day and whispered sweet nothings into your mother’s […]
Passenger Creates Kindle Mayhem on Transatlantic Flight
March 25, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Life in the Boomer Lane’s flight back from London was uneventful except for one item of note. At some point during the trip, LBL fell asleep and was awakened by a loud clunk. When her brain cleared, she realized her Kindle must have slid off her lap. LBL then proceeded to do the Airline Dance in which […]
Ask Me About My Colonoscopy
March 19, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
When burying people up to their necks in sand and releasing ants to crawl all over their heads became passe, someone invented the colonoscopy. Colonoscopies are especially important for people over the age of 50 because it provides them with the need for something that no one ever told them about and which can’t be spelled anyway. […]
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What’s Cookin’ in De Despot’s Pot
April 8, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
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In its never-ending quest to provide Life in the Boomer Lane with hilarity to comment about, this week’s Newsweek has an article titled “The Despot Index,” in which information about popular despots is given in a number of categories. Ten despotic-looking characters are represented, ranging from the cutting-edge leisureware fashionista Kim Jong-Il, to the next scheduled speaker at […]