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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »scandal«
The Actual Call
Vlad? Wazzup? Excuse me? Who is this? It’s the Big Guy, Vlad. Numero Uno. The Boss. The Top Banana. My name is Volodymyr . Don’t be a dick, Vlad. If I say your name is Vlad, go along with it. I can obliterate you. Poof. Nobody in the world carries as much weight as I do. […]
Sharpiegate
September 9, 2019
Life in the Boomer Lane has been unable to arrive at a conclusion regarding the latest antics of our duly-elected malaka-in-charge. Did the Sharpie fiasco visibly demostrate the effects of his creeping dementia or a blatant willingness to bend reality into his own image? Was it evidence that he is the Devil incarnate or, as […]
A Small Gathering of Michael Cohen’s Clients
April 17, 2018
Trump enters a room and greets Michael Cohen. Mike, you called. I’m here. Get busy and explain. I’m behind on my Tweets. Comey is making me work overtime. Should I say he should go to prison or be lynched? Or should I just say “Lock him up!” It worked before, right? I just have to […]
Stormy, Stormier, Stormiest
March 12, 2018
In the interest of edification, enlightenment and entertainment, if not exorcism, Life in the Boomer Lane has arranged for a three-way Facetime interview with Stormy Daniels, Anatastia Vashukevich, and herself. And so, with no further fanfare, let us begin: LBL: Ms Vashukevich, may I call you Anastasia? Thanks so much for agreeing to this interview. […]
A Private Phone Conversation Between Ivana and Melania
October 10, 2017
(ringing phone) Melania: Hello? Ivana (growly voice): Is Donald there, please? I am a representative of some country. I know it’s you, Ivana. It’s not me. It’s someone else. Ivana, you’ve tried this before. And Donald isn’t here. He’s on the golf course. Which one? I’m not telling you. And you need to stop calling. […]
Furniture Shopping With Donald
October 8, 2016
Donald, I’m so glad you suggested we go furniture shopping. I need a sectional real bad. It’s making me crazy. I think about sectionals all the time. My husband thinks I’m nuts. You came to the right person. I know furniture. Nobody knows furniture like I do. It’s furniture. And I know it. Most […]
A Week of Penises
August 30, 2016
The current news about Anthony Weiner presents a unique problem to Life in the Boomer Lane. Having used all of her best humor in her previous two posts about him, she isn’t sure where to run with this latest inability Weiner has, to keep his penis in his pants. Weiner brings new meaning to the […]
Brew Ha-Ha
April 11, 2016
Life in the Boomer Lane would like to go on record as saying that she is no fan of Starbucks. She finds the coffee bitter, over-brewed, and served too hot. However, she does understand that most True Americans do not share her sentiments, since she knows they spend most of their waking hours standing in […]
When Manners Trump Murder
January 20, 2016
It’s a common story: Friends gather for dinner, one friend kills another, and the result is that the hostess is never thanked for all the work she spent preparing and serving the meal. Not so in this case, according to yesterday’s Washington Post, reporting on a murder that took place on December 20, at […]
School for Scandal
July 29, 2013
Instructor: I’d like everybody’s attention, please. Welcome to “How to Respect Women,” a workshop tailored specifically for politicians. We will undo a lifetime of womanizing in two weeks. Are we ready? Eliot Spitzer: You have nice boobs, Teacher. Instructor: Mr Spitzer, we will refrain from references to female anatomy in this class. Is that understood? […]
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November 19, 2019
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