Browsing All Posts filed under »scandal«

A Private Phone Conversation Between Ivana and Melania

October 10, 2017

14

(ringing phone) Melania: Hello? Ivana (growly voice): Is Donald there, please?  I am a representative of some country. I know it’s you, Ivana. It’s not me. It’s someone else.  Ivana, you’ve tried this before. And Donald isn’t here. He’s on the golf course. Which one? I’m not telling you. And you need to stop calling.  […]

Furniture Shopping With Donald

October 8, 2016

26

  Donald, I’m so glad you suggested we go furniture shopping. I need a sectional real bad. It’s making me crazy. I think about sectionals all the time. My husband thinks I’m nuts. You came to the right person.  I know furniture. Nobody knows furniture like I do.  It’s furniture.  And I know it. Most […]

A Week of Penises

August 30, 2016

9

The current news about Anthony Weiner presents a unique problem to Life in the Boomer Lane. Having used all of her best humor in her previous two posts about him, she isn’t sure where to run with this latest inability Weiner has, to keep his penis in his pants. Weiner brings new meaning to the […]

Brew Ha-Ha

April 11, 2016

29

Life in the Boomer Lane would like to go on record as saying that she is no fan of Starbucks. She finds the coffee bitter, over-brewed, and served too hot. However, she does understand that most True Americans do not share her sentiments, since she knows they spend most of their waking hours standing in […]

When Manners Trump Murder

January 20, 2016

20

  It’s a common story: Friends gather for dinner, one friend kills another, and the result is that the hostess is never thanked for all the work she spent preparing and serving the meal. Not so in this case, according to yesterday’s Washington Post, reporting on a murder that took place on December 20, at […]

School for Scandal

July 29, 2013

32

Instructor: I’d like everybody’s attention, please. Welcome to “How to Respect Women,” a workshop tailored specifically for politicians. We will undo a lifetime of womanizing in two weeks. Are we ready? Eliot Spitzer: You have nice boobs, Teacher. Instructor: Mr Spitzer, we will refrain from references to female anatomy in this class. Is that understood? […]

A Short Conversation Between the Weiners

July 24, 2013

33

Darling, I have a text here from a “Carlos Danger.” Do we know anyone named Carlos Danger? Ah, Sweets, that is actually me. I meant to send that text to my new assistant, the twenty-year-old who is completing her doctorate in “The Value of Long Hours of Public Service.” But Love, why are you sending […]