Donald, I’m so glad you suggested we go furniture shopping. I need a sectional real bad. It’s making me crazy. I think about sectionals all the time. My husband thinks I’m nuts.
You came to the right person. I know furniture. Nobody knows furniture like I do. It’s furniture. And I know it. Most furniture is a disgrace. My furniture at home is all gold. It’s all gold. Like all of it.
Donald! Did you just grab my hoo-hah?!
Not really. I was fluffing this pillow. Take a look. The pillows really make this piece.
Donald, did you just use the word “piece?” Are you referring to me?
Actually, no. Hey, I just used the word ‘actually.’ Did you hear that? I can use big words. I can use really big words. The words I use are the biggest words there are. There are no words bigger than the words I use. I count the letters in the words I use. There are a lot of letters in the words I use. Are you laying down on that sectional?
I’m testing it out. What do you think?
That color is a disgrace. The color is a bit off. Clashes with my hair. Take a look at the one over there. Sleek lines, soft, appealing. Makes you want to lay on top of it and rub those two big pillows all over your face.
Are you talking about the sectional or me?
The sectional. Let’s take a look at the fabric samples. I know fabric. It’s that woven stuff. My employees wear fabric uniforms. I know all about it. It’s fabric.
Can you help me up off this sectional?
Sure, I’m the guy for that. Manly. I know how to do stuff like that for the ladies. (calls a store employee over) Mr Trump here! Get this woman off the sectional!”
You are so in-charge, Donald. You could run a furniture store.
Yeah, the women all say that. Hey, it’s getting hot in here. My head is sweating under my pouf. Let’s get out of here.
You mean to another furniture store?
No, to fuck. My bed at home is gold. It’s gold. All over. You can feel it. It’s gold. Gold all over. Gold.
I thought we were furniture shopping.
Yeah, it’s gold. Even the pillows are gold.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Phil Taylor
October 8, 2016
Yup, that seems pretty accurate
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
Thanks, Phil. Would that it weren’t.
Emily Cannell- Hey From Japan
October 8, 2016
Trump’s apology along the lines of a five yr old”sorry Mom- but you should have seen what so and so did!”
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
He’s been doing that since Day 1. Meaning since the day he was born, not since declaring for the presidency.
allthoughtswork
October 8, 2016
I’m imagining a chair. A chair with leather straps at the armrests. A chair with a gag and blindfold. A chair that you can plug in.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
Might be extreme, but he could certainly be charged with sexual assault. What he said went way beyond “locker room language.” It was the admission of a crime.
Keith
October 8, 2016
The fiancé of a business partner who has brought suit against Trump for sexual harassing her in Trump’s daughter’s bedroom does not seem too outlandish now. Yesterday’s video, I am hoping, is finally his Waterloo, or at least it should be.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
Unfortunately, she lost a bit of credibility when she then became his girlfriend for several months, after divorcing her husband. She’s almost as much an opportunist as he is.
Keith
October 9, 2016
Renee, I agree. He said in his statement that people who know him, know that this is not what he likes. To the contrary, this video is in keeping with the nature of the man as evidenced throughout his life and career. He has exploited people throughout and thinks little of it, even when they have to file for bankruptcy, lose money or their integrity. An attorney who worked for him for years said Trump lies all of the time and often bragged of his sexual exploits.
Why a woman or a father with daughters would vote for this sorry excuse of a man, is beyond me. Keith
Keith
October 10, 2016
Renee, I would love your reaction to my post of this morning called “Locker Room Talk.” Best wishes, Keith
ermigal
October 8, 2016
Keith, Sadly, we keep hoping that each blunder and pulling away of the Wizard’s curtain will be his Waterloo, but it just makes his minions more determined. We are at a new low. You can’t make this stuff up. Good piece, LBL–funny in the midst of our despair!
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
Thanks. I suspect his fans will all still be there. It will be the undecided voters and the Republican mainstream who will be impacted by this.
Richard E. Berg
October 8, 2016
LOL!
What does “Make America Great Again” mean?
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
This was hilarious and oh-so-true. I’ve reposted on Facebook.
ugiridharaprasad
October 9, 2016
Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
Thanks for the reblog!
Dawn V. Cahill
October 9, 2016
You nailed him. Hilarious!
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
Thanks, Dawn. I’m waiting for all this to go away so I can write about something else.
that little voice
October 9, 2016
Great post. Reblogging on that little voice.
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 9, 2016
Thanks, and thanks for the reblog!
Sherrie
October 9, 2016
Have you ever heard Trump use a word with more than five letters ? He uses the words good, bad and huge more than any others. Don’t you just want to cut off his right hand!
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 10, 2016
His vocabulary is pretty shocking for a college-educated adult. His favorite big words are “disgrace” (8 letters) and “tremendous” (a whopping 10 letters).
judithhb
October 10, 2016
On the other side of the world we sit and wonder how such a person could even be considered for such a post. I haven’t heard him say anything at all that would make me cast a vote for him. He is unacceptable in every sense of the word as a politician, the president, a man, a human being, lover, husband or friend
Life in the Boomer Lane
October 10, 2016
Amen to all that. I continually cringe at how we look to the world. I can see the headlines: “US Becomes One Big Reality Show.”
lauramacky
October 10, 2016
I’m crying with laughter. But then I remembered…oh yeah, that’s him. 😦