How the World Could Have Been Saved

Posted on December 28, 2022


With only a few days left of 2022, and, with seemingly nothing more that Ex-and-Wannabe-Again-POTUS (XWAP)could possibly say to rivet Life in the Boomer Lane’s attention, he has gone and done it again. His Christmas Eve Rant was an eye opener, not because he trashed the usual suspects, while glorifying himself, but because he has finally revealed himself to be clairvoyant.

For those who put the word “clairvoyant” into the general basket of psychics, tarot card readers, past life regressors, mediums, speaking-to-the-dead folks, horoscope readers, automatic writers, reiki masters, fortune tellers, extra sensory perceptionists, people who move stuff without touching it, and vegans, we must clarify what it actually means to be clairvoyant.

A clairvoyant is a person who has a supernatural ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact. This is big. This is Nostradamus stuff. This goes way beyond any other kind of psychic ability. And for a POTUS-type human PTH), this could have an impact on the entire planet. This POTUS-type human, knowing everything that would happen, could either take action to prevent bad shit from happening, or if, in spite of some mighty fine films that depict that, The PTH would at least be able to prepare us for bad shit. Wars could be totally avoided, or, at the very least, people could be told exactly when the war would start and they could make plans to be elsewhere. Back in olden times, disease would have been eradicated, or, at the very least, everyone would be told to bathe regularly and watch out for rats.

Let’s take COVID, for instance. We could have averted the entire thing. Or, we could have been told by XWAP that we didn’t really have to zap our mail in the microwave or out it in quarantine for several days before opening it. We didn’t have to drive around with all of our groceries in the trunk for a week or scrubbing it down with disinfectant before eating anything. We could have been told that we really did have to wear masks and stay away from others and get the vaccine as soon as it came out. And, mst important of all, he could have passed on re-Tweeting the false COVID claims spewed by Dr Immanuel. All of this would have avoided a lot of misery and anger and death.

Then let’s look at the 2020 election. Here was POTUS’ biggest failure. He would have known what would happen, and he could have prepared for it, to make sure the results were in his favor. Of course, that would mean we would have four more years of the rabid dog constantly biting our ankles, so maybe that was for the best. LBL will let that one ride.

And, of course, there were lots of more mundane things. LBL remembers the day a photo was snapped of XWAP’s head being subjected to a rogue gust of air and the entire do being catapulted into the air. Why didn’t he just wear a hat that day? And why didn’t he tell Melania to ditch the “I really don’t care” jacket and substitute it for one that proclaimed “I really care a lot.”

LBL has been thinking a lot about all this, when she isn’t staring at the mountains of holiday cookies, chocolate, banana bread, Hanukkah gelt, and ice cream, that seem to keep getting larger as each day goes by. She especially thinks about the amount of time, money, and emotional energy spent in all the impeachment hearings, research, document creation, sexual molestation victim testimonies, and media reports regarding all the never-ending nefarious activities of our XWAP. Instead, everyone should have been focused on the most important item: We had a POTUS who knew about everything before it would happen. Why didn’t he share this with us? If LBL had these types of abilities, she might have happily changed her aversion to large Halloween pumpkins before such aversion resulted in her breaking her neck trying to sidestep one.