In its current Health & Science section, The Washington Post addresses itself to a topic that a lot of people over the age of 50 think about daily, when they aren’t trying to remember why they are standing naked in the garage, holding a spatula. “The Aging Brain” tells us that, contrary to what scientists have long believed, we are not losing brain cells. (Note: This writer has never worried about losing brain cells, since she wears black a lot and would certainly have noticed if strange little cells had started to dust her shoulders.)
The good news is our brain cells remain intact. But, before you happily take that next breath, the article warns that it is the connections between cells that break down. Boomers are requested to remember back to the days when their children were young teens and we asked them, for example, to “Please get your stuff off the table so we can have dinner.” This request morphed in the teen brain into “Please sit in front of the TV and start picking your nose.” Because of this, medical science is racing to find a way to keep those cells communicating, much as Congress is now failing to do.
The article continues with a typical sequence of events that involve the brain:
1. Your eyes see an image. The image is transmitted along the Optic Nerve.
2. The Visual Cortex identifies the image. This area RARELY degenerates with age. Until several years ago, the visual cortex was the Dick Clark part of the brain.
The image travels down a path of information. The further along the path, the more complex thought becomes and the more vulnerable the area is to age-related decline. In other words, there is a Whisper Down the Lane effect going on here.
3. Associative Areas determine whether the image is important and how it relates to you. Scientists don’t know how aging affects these areas.
4. The Hippocampus encodes the image into memory. It does this by strengthening synapses. This function declines with age.
5. The Prefrontal Cortex decides what to do about the image. This is, in effect, the most important part of memory. It is the last part of the brain to mature (in our 20s) and the first part to decline (after age 50)
So, according to this sequence, failure begins somewhere between steps #2 and #3, unless you have skipped your scheduled visit to the optometrist, in which case failure can occur right at the get-go. But let’s assume you get past #2. This would look like the following:
Object Identification leaves the Visual Cortex and proceeds along the Path of Information. It becomes distracted by everything on the Path, forgets why it came down the Path to begin with and walks back to the Visual Cortex to ask it to please repeat the Object Identification. The Visual Cortex gets pissed off and tells the Object Identification that it wasn’t paying attention. An argument ensues, possibly leading to fisticuffs.
Association Areas know the information is important but are loath to enter the melee. They wait patiently until things settle down, and then take the image to the Hippocampus. The Hippocampus receives the information, albeit while rolling its eyes and accusing the Association Areas of always being late. The Association Areas protest that it wasn’t their fault, but the Hippocampus clearly isn’t listening. The Hippocampus storms off, ultimately tossing the by now disheveled and virtually unrecognizable image to the Prefrontal Cortex, which sort of stares at it and wonders what on earth it could possibly do with it except forget about it.
In sum, according to the Post, as we age “information becomes harder to retrieve, like papers in a file cabinet under a blanket in the attic.” And, if the attic is in one of those big, haunted houses with cobwebs and ghosts and rats running around, and if there is really creepy music playing and it suddenly gets dark, it might just be a lot easier to not even try.
Damn you, Hippocampus.
Hippie Cahier
December 8, 2011
Fisticuffs is another one of my favorite words. I was also going to say something about standing naked in the garage with a spatula, but juxtaposed, the two comments might result in an unfortunate mix of imagery. Oops.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
I have started to answer your comment twice already, but each one was turning into another post. I might dream about this tonight. And yes, fisticuffs. It’s a swell one, isn’t it.
Paprika Furstenburg
December 8, 2011
If you had taught the anatomy of the brain class I took in grad school, I’d probably remember more of it or is that just my aging brain? A fun and informative post.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
If I had taught the anatomy of the brain class you took in grad school, you’d be qualified to be a court jester instead of someone who knew anything about anatomy.
K.L.Richardson
December 8, 2011
Perhaps this explains why, when I am looking right at one of my grandchildren, I call them by the other ones name….then realizing I am wrong I have to search through all 5 names. And then end up by saying the cats name instead! Lord help us all!
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
Oh, that’s funny. Maybe they all need to be identified by numbers, like the Chinese did.
My Inner Chick
December 8, 2011
~~~ when they aren’t trying to remember why they are standing naked in the garage, holding a spatula. ~~~
Scary Stuff….
I love your clever posts soooo much, Boomer. x
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
Thanks!
Patricia
December 8, 2011
All along i thought I just had one lone marble rolling around in there. But there must be at least two if there are any fisticuffs happening. And seeing as I am ditzier by the day I doubt there are any in my brain because my marbles would never remember what they were supposed to be doing in the first place–and they probably couldn’t find each other in the vast empty space in which they roll to engage in fisticuffs anyway..
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
I like the marble theory. Provides a better visual than the idea of cells, nodes, synapses, lobes, wiggly spaghetti things….
Miss Demure Restraint
December 8, 2011
Yeah, that sounds about right and don’t forget the time delay between grabbing the blazing hot pot handle and my quarreling brain’s message back to my then burnt fingers to let go. Thanks, know I understand the whole process better.
I always have a good time when I stop in here.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
Hey, thanks Ms DR. Yes, that time delay thing. Happens a lot. Usually it’s my brain going, “You f–ked up again.”
Kathryn McCullough
December 9, 2011
This is hysterical, Renee–though it’s sad to think the brain only has a good 30 years of optimal functioning. What if you brain function begins to go south before the age of 50? I’d say that doesn’t bode well for my future, does it. Maybe that’s why I found myself this morning, naked in the garage with a spatula. I sure as hell wasn’t frying eggs.
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
It’s sad, isn’t it? The article suggests ways to improve brain functioning. One of them is to keep doing what you’re good at. It’s back to the hula hoop for me.
life is a bowl of kibble
December 9, 2011
The only good thing about getting old for me is I can say what ever I want and blame it on menopause. And a spreading middle. WHAT? It is an instant boob job. What once was saggin is now a….Not. Tummy pushes it right back into place. Brain cells for youthful boobs. I’ll take it.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
Ah, the benefits of a creative thought process. I, on the other hand, am still wondering how my butt is sagging in spite of my never having had one.
notquiteold
December 9, 2011
One thing I’ve noticed about everyone’s attics though. There’s lots of OLD pictures up there, and they stick around no matter what.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
This is actually a deeply metaphysical statement, having multiple meanings ultimately leading to the true essense of life. Or else it’s just funny.
Claudia Anderson
December 9, 2011
Oh girl — this is the truth! This is the stuff I write about too! Wait — what were we talking about?
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
I think writing but my hippocampus has absolutely no idea what to do about that little head squished between the ends of the moon
writerwoman61
December 9, 2011
“Please sit in front of the TV and start picking your nose.” I didn’t see you in my living room last night! LOL!
So, what you’re saying is, my brain cells aren’t missing when I have a CRAFT (Can’t Remember a Friggin’ Thing) moment…just not communicating effectively with each other? I wonder if there’s a “cell counsellor” available – perhaps this relationship can be saved!
This is one of the funnest science posts I’ve ever read (and I generally don’t like science!).
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
Oh Wendy, if you like science like this, you are in luck. I can take any scientific topic and turn it into complete nonsense. This is exactly what I did in high school chemistry and college biology. Unfortunately, my instructors never appreciated it the way my blog readers do. And, I will immediately start using CRAFT. I’ve never heard of that.
deliriouslydivine
December 9, 2011
Yikes.. Just as it seems we get past one hurdle, that would be sending the nosepickers off into the world, we have another challenge. The best news, I think, is that we won’t even know how bad things are….
I’ve yet to do the naked in the garage thing yet, but I’ve had those vacant moments.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
The garage thing might actually have some potential, if you got all the old tires, paint cans and gardening stuff out and substituted it for a hot convertible with the top down.
Carl D'Agostino
December 9, 2011
Top dollar post. One of your very best in my opinion. I would have more confidence in the brain of a 95 year old in serious decline than that of a teenager anytime!
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
Carl, you have reduced me to a whimpering mess with your accolades. Either that or I have just realized I left an entire tray of mini-coconut pies burning in the oven. But seriously, I thank you. And I agree about the 95 year old vs the teen.
georgettesullins
December 9, 2011
Good thing seniors don’t get pregnant. That would be a double brain whammy.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2011
Now, there’s the stuff of a great post. Or else you’d destroy WordPress.
pegoleg
December 9, 2011
Oh, sure. Blame it all on the Hippocampus. While the Association Areas sit idly by as usual and do nothing; I repeat, NOTHING. Wusses.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 10, 2011
I think the entire Kardashian entourage is one big association area.
nrhatch
December 9, 2011
I love the way you take the mundane aspects of aging and transform them into a celebration of giggles . . . requiring those of us with weak bladders to make a beeline for the bath. 😀
Old synapses die off . . . but we can make more (as long as we don’t veg out on the sofa every night or wander around aimlessly swatting flies with spatulas).
lifeintheboomerlane
December 10, 2011
Hey, thanks. Aging provides endless material, doesn’t it? The article did give some helpful hints about staving off the dreaded LOH (lack of hippocampus). One was estrogen, which I knows sends people into a tizzy.
Betty Londergan
December 9, 2011
Every single time I hear the word “hippocampus” I imagine a big, fat hippo in my brain, twitching its tiny ears and waiting for a small bird to clean its teeth … doesn’t exactly inspire confidence that this dude is all that’s standing between me and complete senility. Love this post … you are seriously funny, Renee!!
lifeintheboomerlane
December 10, 2011
Thanks, Betty. Now, don’t you find ot a bit disturning that our nemisis, the hippocampus, evokes images of obese wildlife?
theattitudequeen
December 10, 2011
LOL – your explanation makes so much more sense than the so-called scientific one
I also had a problem with one of my teenagers re: communication. When she graduated from high school at age 18 she announced that she wanted to join the Police Force. I told her that it might just be a good idea if she learnt to drive and obtained her driver’s licence (she had been a bit slack and couldn’t be bothered). Through an error in her translation process she heard “go and have a baby”. Happy to say that eventually she did manage to get her driver’s licence, enrol at Uni, complete the practical physical stuff and become a fully fledged Police officer.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 10, 2011
Yikes. I’m happy all turned out well in the end. There was arecent study about the teen brain, and it was, as you might suspect, scary. It’s sort of made out of Play Doh, and there’s no telling what it will morph into at any given time, and in spite of any input.
murr brewster
December 10, 2011
This would be hysterically funny if it weren’t so #*%&^ true. I can’t even get to the bottom of a comment box without Oh look! The neighbor’s cat is out again! and don’t forget to pick up some masking tape.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 10, 2011
Just think, we used to take drugs to achieve the same state we are in now naturally.
bigguyblogger
December 10, 2011
Great post. Very funny I think. But every time I want to comment on a specific I have to go back up to look at it, and by the time I get back down here again I forget the specific. Oh well, you get the poinit.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 10, 2011
Don’t worry about it. I have no knowledge of having written this post.
Stylish Ole Woman (@StylishOleWoman)
December 9, 2013
Hilarious blog and comments. Thanks for helping us laugh at this condition.
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 9, 2013
And thanks for reading!