
LBL doesn’t know which makes her more giddy with excitement, the Trump and Palin love fest (LBL prefers to refer to the union as “Tralin'”) or the fact that she has chosen this very week to be in Hawaii and thereby avoid the massive “Blizzard of a Lifetime” that is choking the DC area. She is keeping track of the storm from sunny Kona, and is aware that no food is left in the supermarkets, with the exception of frozen anchovy nuggets.
LBL’s cell phone has been the recipient of numerous texts/photos/emails, in which loyal friends have documented lines wrapped around the block to get into food stores. Her neighborhood listserv has been flooded with requests for snow boots, personal snow plows, and hazmat suits.
One resident informed evetryone that the manager of the nighborhood supermarket told her that the store would stay open 24/7 throughout the weather holocaust. The neighbor noted that “This is unfortunate for employees, but it means we can walk to the store for food!” LBL knows that all neighbors have already stocked up with at least a month’s supply of food, so she isn’t sure what emergency would arise that would necessitate an emergency trip to the store (“Darling! We forgot to stock an ample supply of aerosole cheese snack! Please pick up whatever is left!”)
As for the poor employees, LBL imagines them manning their stations throught the night and taking cat naps on flattened cardboard boxes, somewhere in the recesses of the store.
Now Husband, who did not accompany LBL to Hawaii, has informed LBL the he has cooked a large vat of bean soup and has stocked an adequate supply of alcohol. LBL expects him to ride out the storm as a flatulating drunk.
He has also started to send LBL emails about available mobile homes in scenic parts of Florida. LBL suspects that by the time she returns, she and NH will be the proud owners of a single-wide aluminum structure in an over-55 community that runs a near-zero risk of ever experiencing snow.
LBL will now get back to the difficult task at hand of slogging her way to the beach and scoring a small, charming ocean-front cabana. She has laid in adequate supplies: her room key, her cell phone, her Kindle, and sunscreen. It’s not as easy as one might imagine. Like being caught in a blizzard, even with supplies at hand, she runs the risk of succumbing to the forces of nature and remaining there forever.
ugiridharaprasad
January 23, 2016
Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 23, 2016
Thanks for the reblog!
Kate Crimmins
January 23, 2016
Your planning was on target for this trip. BTW I have aerosol whipped cream if it’s needed!
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 23, 2016
I told my son he can anticipate the snow each year from now on, and invite me to Hawaii then. Aerosol whipped cream is actually a fine product, snow or no snow.
Kim
January 23, 2016
Sitting here in North Carolina with lots of said snow, a big, fat head cold and was just told that our family of 5 including kids and grandkids (and a 1 year old) are without power and will need to be moving in until Monday. THANK YOU for the laugh, enjoy your trip and I’m going to the kitchen now to insure my alcohol supply is more than adequate,
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 23, 2016
Oh I’m sorry for you, but I suspect alcohol will help you more than my humor.
Keith
January 23, 2016
Renee, sip on margarita for me (or drink of your choice). Enjoy the rays and sea breeze. My wife made a pot of chili two days ago and a pot of soup yesterday, so we are warming our hands and tummies. I just returned from a run to the post office, as one of our college students left his thermals and gloves. This is of course after he said yes to our question of do you have everything when he left?
Hopefully NH will not leave the house with his added supply of adult beverages. You should now flip to get an even tan. Keith
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 23, 2016
Thanks, Keith, I took your advice. It took all of my energy to sip my drink and then flip.
geezenslaw
January 23, 2016
I’m in the far western reaches of the South (SxSW?). Though cold (coolish?) no snow or freezing. I can just imagine what is going thru the minds of your readers much further East with your lamenting the hardships of a visit to the far western reaches of the U.S. islands having to endure beach breeze, surf and rays hunkered down with drink and Kindle? Hopefully, Tralin can do something about such appalling conditions!
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 23, 2016
I hope Tralin builds a wall around Hawaii and doesn’t let us out.
Linda
January 23, 2016
Do/Does Tralin even know that Hawaii is an American state?
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 25, 2016
They probably know it in theory, but don’t believe Obama is a citizen for having been born there.
Yellow Rose
January 23, 2016
Well, we are bemoaning our wet, warm summer weather here in NSW, Australia but probably better than your freezing conditions and hardships. Great to read your post and love your take on the Election Candidates which are also fascinating and entertaining us here.
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 23, 2016
Thanks, YR. My inclination is to constantly write about the obscene political situation we have created in this country. We are possibly about to nominate what amounts to a junkyard dog to run for the most exhalted office in the nation. I cringe when I think this is the best we can come up with. And Sarah Palin is nothing more than a wind up toy on battery overload. This is either the End Times, or I am having a prolonged nightmare.
Richard E. Berg
January 24, 2016
If Now Husband and you wouldn’t mind replacing blizzards with hurricanes, I have land in Florida to offer.
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 25, 2016
Seriously laughing.
Kooky Chic
January 25, 2016
All I can say is you are a genius to be so far away.
Life in the Boomer Lane
February 1, 2016
Thanks, Kooky. Although I had nothing to do with this, I will take full credit.