Donald J Trump, addressing a campain rally in Iowa, said of his loyal fan base, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters, okay? It’s, like, incredible,” Life in the Boomer Lane is not making this up. She believes Trump’s atatement is true, unless the person Trump shoots is one of his supporters and that person dies. In that case, Trump will have decreased his supporters by one.
Trump followed this announcement by actually shooting someone on Fifth Avenue and then publicly read tweets of his followers acknowledging him for “putting his money where his mouth is” and “being brave enough to stand up to anyone who doubts that he isn’t honest and straighforward.” Sveral Tweeters complained that “those rich bitches on Fifth Ave have all the fun. Mr Trump, please come to our neighborhoods and start shooting!”
Trump then announced, “I will now embark on a series of acts to prove that I am more powerful than any of the sacred institutions of this great nation. My supporters will not only continue to support me, they will become rabid and froth at the mouth in ectasy at my actions.” Trump then:
- outlawed all future blizzards, because they took the attention off him. “Blizzards are stupid, fake shit that aren’t nearly as powerful as me.”
- demanded that all condoms sold in the US be sized accordingly: Small, Average, Large, Trump
- had his supporters build huge bonfires around the country at the start of the annual Girl Scout Cookie Drive. All boxes of cookies would be thrown into the flames. Girl Scouts would be named “a group of namby pamby really ugly girls who think they can do shit boys can but they really can’t”
- named Vladinir Putin as his running mate
- named Sarah Palin as his Official Presidential Consort and Wind Up Toy
- proposed to end all government expenditures on education and social welfare programs and to use that money to fund ailing casinos and to provide bibles to every American, with “Jesus” changed to “Donald”
- announced a contest to see how many people can come up with the laregst number of ethnic and religious groups to be banned from the US
- declared that as soon as he wins, there will be public beheadings of all other candidates of both parties
Life in the Boomer Lane 
LRose
January 23, 2016
Brilliant! LBL for Anti-Christ, er, Trump!
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 24, 2016
Hey, thanks. I’d rather write about other topics, but humorous venting is the only thing that keeps my sanity.
Phyllis
January 23, 2016
Very well done LBL
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 24, 2016
Thanks, LPD. xxoo
Keith
January 23, 2016
Renee, as stupid as it sounded, his remarks were accurately reflected. To me, this shows his arrogance and disdain for his followers. It also shows how gullible they are. It would not be a stretch to say The Donald likely makes fun of his followers in private. That would be in keeping with his history, which tells you everything you need to know about his lack of veracity as a candidate.
By the way, your comments here are quite funny. Keith
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 24, 2016
Thanks, Keith. Interesting. I wouldn’t put it past him. I suppose if the American Nazi party endorsed him, he would publicly announce how wonderful they were. He’s a whore, and I say that with the full understanding that I’m doing a disservice to prostitutes by the analogy.
Eileen
January 23, 2016
Loved this one! I wonder how folks can be so gullible.
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 24, 2016
There is, apparently, no bottom to this cesspool.
ugiridharaprasad
January 23, 2016
Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 24, 2016
Thanks for the reblog!
Lorie Smith Schaefer
January 24, 2016
He’d be funnier if he weren’t so frightening. Buffoon in Chief?
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 24, 2016
I’m sure it will get so bad, that I won’t even be able to make fun of it. I’ll be hiding in a closet, somewhere.
Little Voice
January 24, 2016
You have summed it up perfectly. The problem is, he is no doubt right, and what does that say about the people of these United States? Have we really arrived at a place in our history when we look to a bully to protect us and speak for us? My heart aches at the reality of that.
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 24, 2016
As does mine. I’ve said this before: We don’t want a leader. We want a junkyard dog.
Little Voice
January 24, 2016
The second verse to this is..will we go vote? Will we encourage others to vote?
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 24, 2016
I will be making calls and knocking on doors for whoever is the Democratic candidate. I will encourage others to do the same. And I’m sad, because I used to be an independant. The Republican party has been hijacked.
Anonymous
January 24, 2016
Permission to copy and paste to Facebook with apporiare credit?
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 25, 2016
Absolutely, and thanks.
Shelley
January 25, 2016
love the condom sizes! Another great post.
Val Boyko
January 25, 2016
Brilliant post. You captured the words, actions and his ego beautifully 😉
lauramacky
January 26, 2016
The condom sizes cracked me up! So good LBL.