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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing Archives of Author »Renee Fisher«
Osama Bin Laden: The Expose
May 2, 2011
It is only now that Osama Bin Laden is finally dead, that certain questions can be answered: What’s up with the woman’s clothes thing? Reports have established that Osama Bin Laden regularly went about disguised as a woman. As he was bearded and he is believed to have been somewhere between 6’4” and 6’6”, it […]
Trump Charges
April 29, 2011
There are a lot of reasons why I think Donald trump should run for the Republican nomination. I’ll focus on one: He is willing to get to the bottom of things. And he spends a lot of time on the bottom to prove it. In an attempt to get to the truth about what is, according to […]
Married to Mr Transportation
April 26, 2011
Now Husband Dan is thoughtful, physically affectionate, and never ends a phone call without saying “I love you.” For the last week, we have been living about 20 minutes away from each other and communicating mostly via phone. I have been on Anna Maria Island, helping Joyce. Dan has been in our trailer mobile home […]
Zombie Pustules From Outer Space
April 25, 2011
There are a lot of rules that are important to one’s medical health. One is: Don’t have a medical emergency on Easter Sunday. The other is: If you have to have a medical emergency on Easter Sunday, don’t talk about “Mafia Wives.” My friend Joyce broke both of those rules. The day went like this: Arrival of […]
This Ain’t No Grey’s Anatomy
April 20, 2011
Joyce, a close friend of mine who lives in Florida, took a fall a couple days ago. I was visiting my son in Charleston when the phone call came to tell me what had happened. I flew home, packed, turned around and flew to Florida to spend a week helping to take care of her. Her surgery […]
I’ll Have Two Elf Ears and a Side of Bacon
April 19, 2011
Thanks to AARP, I have been alerted to a new trend in man’s ongoing quest for perfection: elf ears. AARP states that “Body modification artists cut the tops of young people’s ears and sew them back together in a pointed shape.” The segment is titled, “Ah, Youth! Sometimes we don’t miss it.” I don’t […]
The Final Flush
April 13, 2011
all purpose mani/pedi/colonoscopy/endoscopy/alien camera procedure room A very short update on the tiny camera/spaceship in my body. The hospital called today. This was the conversation: Hey, Renee, this is Christine from the hospital. How are you doing? Pain? Discomfort? Fine. No pain, nothing. Great. I think I saw you in the nail place. Tiffany Nails, […]
Voyage to the Center of My Intestines
April 12, 2011
In modern medicine’s quest to find the reason for Life in the Boomer Lane’s anemia, she has so far had three procedures. The first two were colonoscopy and endoscopy, detailed in a heartfelt yet humorous post. Yesterday, LBL had a third procedure: a “capsule endoscopy,” sometimes referred to as a “video endoscopy.” This procedure uses a […]
Ouija Board: A Do-It-Yourself Seance
April 11, 2011
Before reading this post, you need to set aside all judgments you have about psychics, paranormal activity, spirits, and Langhorne, PA. Keep an open mind, as we take a trip into The Land of That Which Cannot Be Explained But Neither Can Anything Else. Now Husband Dan and I spent the weekend visiting my […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
How to Live Forever
May 4, 2011
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Newsweek has an article called “How to Live Forever.” In spite of that intriguing title, the article isn’t about living with your children or in the nursing home until the universe is finished being the universe and moves on to being something else. If everyone really could live forever, it would bring up other issues. Like […]