all purpose mani/pedi/colonoscopy/endoscopy/alien camera procedure room
A very short update on the tiny camera/spaceship in my body. The hospital called today. This was the conversation:
Hey, Renee, this is Christine from the hospital. How are you doing? Pain? Discomfort?
Fine. No pain, nothing.
Great. I think I saw you in the nail place. Tiffany Nails, right?
(Renee now frantically requests the brain cells that are in charge of her Department of Intestinal Affairs to make room for those in charge of Cute Mani/Pedis)
Uh, right.
So, did you like that new gel lacquer manicure?
Uh, actually I hate the color. My nails look like the inside of a seashell, all iridescent pink and blue sparkly. I look 11 years old.
What follows is an in-depth analysis by Christine of the new gel lacquer procedure (good), the colors that were offered (too few) and the conclusion that the French manicure color was the best. By now, the entire Department of Internal Affairs has vacated. The Department of Cute Mani/Pedis has taken over, and everything in my brain is getting all feminine and adorable and speaking with a Vietnamese accent.
Christine continued: So, anyway, don’t worry if you never see the camera. A lot of people never do. Take care. And maybe I’ll see you at Tiffany Nails again! –CLICK–
The camera? (Frantic re-assemblage of the Department of Internal Affairs. All hell is breaking loose. Brain cells and chairs are being knocked over. Mani-Pedi cells are kvetching up a storm. At one point, a manicurist is administering a colonoscopy). I still don’t understand why I wouldn’t see the camera, but at least I know now to get the French manicure color the next time. So I guess it was a valuable phone call, after all.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
writerwoman61
April 13, 2011
Are you sure you didn’t have your procedure here in Saint John? That conversation could easily have happened here…hilarious!
Do you still have to wait for test results?
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
April 13, 2011
It takes 1-2 weeks for the test results and for my next manicure. So all bases will be covered.
Emily Jane
April 15, 2011
Excellent! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Naomi McGraw
April 13, 2011
I just love it. Only in America can a nurse calling you about a procedure end up talking about nails.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 13, 2011
Thanks for visiting my alternate universe, Naomi, for for commenting. Yes, isn’t it wonderful?
Amiable Amiable
April 13, 2011
Apparently, mani and pedi details aren’t covered by HIPAA!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 14, 2011
But they should be. It’s for emotional well-being.
Kathryn McCullough
April 14, 2011
This made me laugh out loud–hard–especially the Vietnamese accent part! What a hoot!
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
April 14, 2011
Thanks, Kathy! The call really was a hoot.
planejaner
April 14, 2011
Wow…
Once, my step-son, about 8 at the time…swallowed a dime.
WE had to have him go on a bucket untill WE WERE SURE HE got rid of that dime.
I can’t FATHOM the “some folks never see it” line.
what? is ? up? with? that???
blessings
and glad you like your mani.
jane
lifeintheboomerlane
April 14, 2011
Strange, huh. Wow, I’m glad my kids never did that. Gag.
Amy
April 14, 2011
I hate when you expect one conversation and the person completely switches gears on you.
“At one point, a manicurist is administering a colonoscopy”
It makes me paranoid when you don’t speak their language and they are talking and laughing while doing your nails. I can’t imagine how I would feel if that happened during a colonoscopy.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 14, 2011
I’d be thinking they would be saying “Quick, call the other guys. I’ve never seen a colon like this. What a hoot. Let’s post photos all over the internet.”
Tori Nelson
April 14, 2011
Is it strange I kept thinking “Poop Shoots & Pedi’s” would be a great title for this post? It is amazing how comfortable the medical professional can engage in girl talk!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 14, 2011
Funny. Yeah, I think she was a lot more excited about the mani part. The whole time she was talking, I kept thinking that people out there were waiting for life or death phone calls.
TexasTrailerParkTrash
April 14, 2011
I could have used a chair like that when I was a dental hygienist. Several of my patients had their heads up their butts.
Funny post!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 17, 2011
Thanks, TTPT! Funny comment!
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Haha! I love this story. If I were a doctor, this is how I’d give bad news. I’d chat about sports for an hour, and then mention I left a sponge inside during surgery, and then hang-up.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 17, 2011
And I’ll bet you could find doctors who do that.
deliriouslydivine
April 15, 2011
Seems you should be talking about pedicures as well.. since this procedure does involve the lower end of the body as well… while you’re sitting there it’s a perfect time to examine the feet. Or at least it would be for me!
Can’t wait to hear how it all comes out!!! Ha, I made a pun.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 17, 2011
Success! I no longer have a tiny alien spaceship in my body.
pegoleg
April 15, 2011
Now you’ve got a decision to make. If finding the camera is not important, does looking for it make you a voyeur
lifeintheboomerlane
April 17, 2011
Good one!
SisterMerryHellish
April 15, 2011
Don’t worry about seeing it so much as getting it out of your system before it reexpands to it’s full, literally gut-busting size!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 17, 2011
It’s gone! Although I had to laugh when I remembered the nurse saying some people aren’t even aware of when it happens. Are they comatose? Are they used to pooping electronic devices?
Mikey
April 15, 2011
I think if it were me, I would be all weirded out that after I passed the little camera/ship that some very compromising photos may be accessible from the bowl if someone nearby had the right technology…Then again I’m pretty paranoid and kind of crazy…
Lunar Euphoria
April 16, 2011
That’s seriously creepy.
Mikey
April 16, 2011
Yeah, I know. It makes me sad that those thoughts go through my head, but they do.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 17, 2011
Oh no, I didn’t even think of that. Damn.
Mikey
April 17, 2011
Some day you may stumble into some pictures online that look oddly familiar but you wont stay on the site long enough to know why they are…
36x37
April 16, 2011
Isn’t it just so strange to see or speak to someone out of context? I’m with you…it really does take a mental adjustment. Glad you had some time in the manicure chair, though–you deserve some pampering!
lifeintheboomerlane
April 17, 2011
Thanks, Maura!
StephanieinSuburbia
April 18, 2011
I just had a coughing fit I was laughing so hard. I had this happen a few times with my OB when I was pregnant. She’d be all up in my junk and then chatting away about our college (turns out we went to the same college). Awkward talking about college mascots when a hand is somewhere it should NOT be.
lifeintheboomerlane
April 18, 2011
Oooooh, weird. I guess that was better than if she were a he. Thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane and Commenting!