Living in A Multiple Choice World

Posted on January 15, 2018


Life has been either quite complicated lately or quite easy, depending on whether you prefer some semblance of truth or whether you simply prefer choices, based on nothing at all.  We’ve had a lot of the choice thing in the past week or so:

  1. All of Africa and Haiti are shithouse countries.
  2. All of Africa and Haiti are shithole countries
  3. Nothing was said about Africa, Haiti, or anything having to do with feces


  1. The Presidents’s shithole remarks are racist
  2. The President’s shithole remarks aren’t racist
  3. Why are we talking about this when we can be talking about Hillary, instead


  1. The Sahara desert was covered in 15 inches of snow
  2. The Sahara desert had a freak snowfall of 15 inches
  3. The Sahara desert needs some fake “global warming” real quick


  1. Michael Wolff wrote a tell all book about the President
  2. Michael Wolff wrote a smarmy pack of lies
  3. Michael Wolff is a fake person who wrote a fake book and let’s talk about all the shit that Hillary did


  1. worst forest fires in CA history, followed by insane mudslides can all be attributed to the effects of climate change
  2. Climate change had nothing to do with the events in CA
  3.  Those folks in CA live in really big ass houses


  1.   I will sign absolutely any bi-partisan DACA bill that comes across my desk
  2.   I will not sign the DACA bill because the Democrats don’t want it even though they signed it
  3.   The DACA bill is fake and smells like feces


  1. Iran bans teaching English in elementary schools to combat “cultural invasion”
  2. Iran’s banning of English instruction is a dangerous first step in dissing the US
  3. It doesn’t matter if Iranians can’t speak English because they have funny accents


  1. Trump lawyer paid $130,000 to porn star to keep quiet about alleged sexual encounter with Trump in 2016
  2. Porn star was a good girl and Trump was a true gentleman and nothing happened
  3. Let’s talk about Hillary instead


  1.  I will go to London to bless the new US Embassy
  2.  I will not go to London because Obama, i.e. Bush, chose the new US Embassy and it was a bad deal
  3.  London is coming perilously close to being a shithole country


  1.  What happened in Hawaii was very bad and it was Kim Jung Un’s fault because he scares everyone
  2.  What happened in Hawaii was very bad but it’s warm and the beaches are good
  3.  I have no opinion about Hawaii because I was playing golf and no one told me about it


  1.  Martin Luther King was a great American
  2.  Martin Luther King believed we are all, regardless of color, created equal by God, except for Norweigans who have a bit of an edge
  3. Martin Luther King was colored but he was a nice man anyway