We all now live at the bottom of an unruly, festering and ever-growing mountain of passwords and pins. I, personally, have run through the names of my entire family, all past bra sizes, and the names of at least three of my ill-fated turtles in elementary school in an attempt to come up with a password that will be acceptable to some sites (“Please use at least one numeral, one exclamation point, one capital letter, and one Druid symbol for your password.”) None of it matters. Whenever I try to access these sites, I have to end up at the “Forgot your name/password/car keys?” section and start all over.
But the absolute Number One thing that makes me even crazier than I am normally, are the sites that provide me with a password. These passwords aren’t computer-generated, like most people believe. They are created by the same people who, in former times, would have operated The Rack during the Inquisition. Since there is little call for Racks now, outside of perhaps some used by Customer Service Departments, these folks need employment. When they see some innocent, unsuspecting, minding-her-own-business, post-menopausal women, they spring into action.
For those of you who are still awake and reading this, this brings me to the title of this blog post. This was the latest password provided to me by a blog that required me to answer about six personal and eight non-personal questions (several of which dealt with the Sino Japanese War) before issuing me the following:
Username: Renee Fisher
Password: YKAJMiB!RK1!
This was to comment on someone’s blog. Not to access secret CIA files. Or even to see photos of naked women having fun with farm equipment. A blog. That’s it. I have a new rule: If I am required to use a password containing more than one exclamation point, I will go elsewhere. Usually to the refrigerator, which I don’t need a password to access.



duke1959
January 31, 2011
First of all I am so happy that your blog came up so easy. You are right about these passwords. My wife requires me to keep an updated list so if something happens to me she can get to stuff.
lifeintheboomerlane
January 31, 2011
Thanks, Duke. After my husband and I spent about 20-25 hours transferring my blog to an independent host, we then changed the theme and I lost the “Subscribe” category. We tried everything to get it back. Many more hours of frsutration. Nothing. So, no one was getting my posts. This morning, we gave up and I went back to wordpress.com. It gives me far fewer choices, but it makes life a lot easier.
writerwoman61
January 31, 2011
Good news, Renée! I got notification of this one! Yay!
Passwords suck (especially when I can’t remember which one I used!).
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
January 31, 2011
I finally gave up trying to have an independently-hosted blog. After umpteen hours trying to get the “Subscribe” to work and failing, I went back to wp.com. It provides far fewer options, but it sure makes life easier. This was a very frustrating (and costly) experience.
writerwoman61
January 31, 2011
Sorry you had to go through all that technocrap! I sometimes wonder about having my own host (my son-in-law has offered space), but I think I’ll stay here for now…
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
January 31, 2011
Planejaner and I were going through the same thing at the same time. But she has resolved her issues, so I hate to discourage anyone.
Kathryn McCullough
January 31, 2011
This post is fabulously funny–a perfect post! Love it, especially that you went to the frig for comfort–too funny!
lifeintheboomerlane
January 31, 2011
Thanks, Kathy. This is so strange. I’m halfway between wp.com and wp.org, and your comment popped on the .com blog. All the others since this morning went to .org. This is called blog schizophrenia.
itsahappyblog
January 31, 2011
Ah, I wondered why I wasn’t seeing you in my inbox. Then I got one that I couldn’t open. Now I’m here! Yay! And I didn’t have to solve world peace to leave this silly comment. Double plus. -kim
lifeintheboomerlane
January 31, 2011
I’m thinking it’s because I finally gave up and went back to wp.com! The other was such an ordeal, although your solving world peace in order to comment on my blog would have been totally wonderful.
sunshineinlondon
January 31, 2011
Ah, my comment disappeared between here and there. But then you did have to have a password to read it and I can’t remember what it was. The password or the comment! hahaha!
Welcome back – yay!
Sunshine xx
lifeintheboomerlane
January 31, 2011
I’m just fated to be on .com and to give up commentluv, which I adored. But my 10 fans are estatic!
Renee
!XZY@05o-o50O0OO0Ii1947b*u*tIlookyounger//…
lifeintheboomerlane
January 31, 2011
whoops, ECSTATIC
ian
January 31, 2011
i really have only two passwords, but about four or five variations for each of those two. i thought this would make it easier to remember, but generally after exhausting all variations, i end up at the lifesaving/mocking “forgot your password?” sites that (use sadistic people who’s true calling in life is rack operators to) generate passwords are annoying, but what’s worse than that are the systems at most colleges, which require you to change your password about the time you get used to it.
technology; ain’t it grand?
lifeintheboomerlane
January 31, 2011
Yes, I can totally relate! The same thing happens to me all the time. I look at technology as being the curse on me for being born after the 19th century.
Allison
February 1, 2011
Must have been blogger. I hate having to jump through (hula) hoops to leave a comment. But I am willing to go on scavenger hunts to keep up with blogs I like 🙂
lifeintheboomerlane
February 1, 2011
I love any reference to hula hoops, so I will totally agree with you.
Carl D'Agostino
February 1, 2011
It would be better for me if I could never remember my ATM pin. Now here’s a crazy one. A few years back the Miami Dade school board decided that insurance package renewal would be done on line from then on.This would save office space, reduce staff and be more efficient. WHAT A MESS.There must be over 100,000 retirees, (who may keep the system’s benefits but must pay)all over the USA that don’t know jack about a computer! They even messed up current employees that are computer literate because they had the whole thing set up but no password. So much for techno wisdom of today’s 30-somethings.
lifeintheboomerlane
February 1, 2011
That is truly a tragic (and hilarious) story.
merrilymarylee
February 1, 2011
I have taken my laptop to the Apple Genius Bar several times because my computer forgets my password and then doesn’t believe me when I tell it what I think.
That really frosts me because (a) that’s what it’s FOR and (b) I can’t even remember my cellphone number, much less a gazillion passwords. If it can’t remember what it is, why doesn’t it take whatever answer I give it? 🙂
The only time it’s guaranteed not to EVER forget my password is in the Apple store–so they can’t duplicate the problem. 😦
lifeintheboomerlane
February 1, 2011
That is totally outrageous. All of these situations are outrageous. I’ve actually put in my name and password on sites and then been told I don’t exist. Or I’m told that I have no account, so I start over to get and account and am then told “Someone with that name is already in our system.” Huh?