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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »sarcasm«
The Final Flush
all purpose mani/pedi/colonoscopy/endoscopy/alien camera procedure room A very short update on the tiny camera/spaceship in my body. The hospital called today. This was the conversation: Hey, Renee, this is Christine from the hospital. How are you doing? Pain? Discomfort? Fine. No pain, nothing. Great. I think I saw you in the nail place. Tiffany Nails, […]
Voyage to the Center of My Intestines
April 12, 2011
In modern medicine’s quest to find the reason for Life in the Boomer Lane’s anemia, she has so far had three procedures. The first two were colonoscopy and endoscopy, detailed in a heartfelt yet humorous post. Yesterday, LBL had a third procedure: a “capsule endoscopy,” sometimes referred to as a “video endoscopy.” This procedure uses a […]
Ouija Board: A Do-It-Yourself Seance
April 11, 2011
Before reading this post, you need to set aside all judgments you have about psychics, paranormal activity, spirits, and Langhorne, PA. Keep an open mind, as we take a trip into The Land of That Which Cannot Be Explained But Neither Can Anything Else. Now Husband Dan and I spent the weekend visiting my […]
What’s Cookin’ in De Despot’s Pot
April 8, 2011
In its never-ending quest to provide Life in the Boomer Lane with hilarity to comment about, this week’s Newsweek has an article titled “The Despot Index,” in which information about popular despots is given in a number of categories. Ten despotic-looking characters are represented, ranging from the cutting-edge leisureware fashionista Kim Jong-Il, to the next scheduled speaker at […]
A Cat By Any Other Name
April 7, 2011
Let’s make a few things really clear: Life in the Boomer Lane is not a cat person. If you go into her house and see a cat (or a cat screaming to get into her house,) it’s because she is cat-sitting. Her daughter owns the cat, which she named Miracle. LBL thinks most modern miracles typically involve […]
Blogging. Clogging. Whatever.
April 5, 2011
I think I Googled “clogging” instead of “blogging” It’s been a great week in Blogopolis: I get a lot of positive comments from people in other countries that WordPress labels Spam. Some of them submit their comments in languages I don’t speak. Others submit in languages that no one on the planet speaks. And sometimes, […]
Snooki Speaks at Rutgers University
April 4, 2011
I have my blog post written for today. I’m not going to use it. On my way to the gym, I listened to someone talking about Snooki, the squat, always-drunk member of the “Jersey Shore” TV reality show and car-wreck-in-progress cast. On Thursday, she spoke at Rutgers University. She was paid $32,000 to do so. She told […]
The Monetization of Hopscotch
April 1, 2011
Seriously. Life in the Boomer Lane has never, even in a drug-induced Happyland stupor while seated in Dr Gerald’s dental chair, ever thought about blogging about Hopscotch. Come on now. Hopscotch? Is there a more basic children’s game? Yes, there is. That one where you hide something in your hand and shove both fists in front […]
Lost in Space
March 30, 2011
Actual items LBL has lost, which are now orbiting the earth According to Newsweek, NASA scientists want to build a cheap, earthbound laser that could zap away the “space junk” orbiting the earth. The zapper wouldn’t make the items disappear. Rather it would simply push the debris further out into space, so that incoming spacecraft […]
Name That Turk
March 29, 2011
(credit: visualfunhouse.com) Everyone has a family tree. Now Husband Dan has a family tree, only the branches have a permanent bad hair day and refuse to organize themselves in any logical way. Part of this is because people in his family believe strongly in marriage and so they marry often, creating lots of half […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
April 13, 2011
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