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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »mishaps«
Six-Word Memoirs
October 21, 2010
The current issue of AARP Magazine has a short piece titled “Six-Word Memoirs.” Many people have submitted theirs online. My favorite was “Located my childhood sweetheart. Shouldn’t have.” So, here are some six word memoirs of my life: A mistake, telling Steve Jacobs “No.” Can I do eighth grade again? Three children. Two husbands. No […]
I’ve Become A Cliche
October 20, 2010
I was sitting at my computer yesterday morning, minding my own business and looking like I do every morning: skimpy tee shirt with no bra (I am, shall we say, well-endowed and I should actually be sleeping in a bra), ratty pajama bottoms, electrified-looking hair. My Now Husband Dan had left to fondle his boat. […]
I've Become A Cliche
October 20, 2010
I was sitting at my computer yesterday morning, minding my own business and looking like I do every morning: skimpy tee shirt with no bra (I am, shall we say, well-endowed and I should actually be sleeping in a bra), ratty pajama bottoms, electrified-looking hair. My Now Husband Dan had left to fondle his boat. […]
Why I Don’t Collect Things
September 27, 2010
The members of my family were always avid collectors. My grandfather, in addition to collecting wives, used to bring discarded items home from abandoned properties that were undergoing renovation. He was a paperhanger, and he never saw an old item (or a young woman) he didn’t like. My grandmother (actually my step-grandmother and his second […]
Why I Don't Collect Things
September 27, 2010
The members of my family were always avid collectors. My grandfather, in addition to collecting wives, used to bring discarded items home from abandoned properties that were undergoing renovation. He was a paperhanger, and he never saw an old item (or a young woman) he didn’t like. My grandmother (actually my step-grandmother and his second […]
Things My Mother Warned Me About
September 23, 2010
I found a dead squirrel in my driveway the other day. As soon as I saw it, I heard my mom’s voice, “Don’t pick it up. It is probably diseased and you will get sick and die if you touch it.” I told my friend Phyllis, who was visiting and was, at that moment, sitting […]
10 Things I learned From My High School Friends
September 20, 2010
My high school buddies, Susan, Phyllis, and Judy, came to visit this past weekend. These are the ten things I learned from their visit: 10. Guests who arrive carrying their own two-litre bottles of Cherry Diet Coke may not be emotionally prepared to eat wholesome, organic food for the weekend 9. Anthony’s Pizza in Falls […]
A Trip to the Farmers Market
September 19, 2010
I have three high school friends (Susan, Judy, Phyllis) driving down from Philly to visit me this weekend. In honor of the occasion, I decided to make a trip to the local farmers market, to bask in the whole touchy-feeliness of all that fresh, organic produce and homemade baked goods. That way, my friends could avail […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
This Parking Meter Needs A User Manual
October 25, 2010
19
Two friends and I drove into Washington, DC (newly designated as the 2nd WORSE TRAFFIC CITY in the US) to do the “Walk to End Modern Day Slavery.” DC is the World Mecca for Walks/Runs/Demonstrations/Rallies/Political Motorcades/Tourism/General Mayhem on the Road. There were at least four events happening that day, including an Army 10 Miler. For […]