Helpful Uncoupling

Posted on June 25, 2019


Life in the Boomer Lane has just returned from Maine, where she visited a dear friend, G. She does this on an annual basic, and she and G have developed a system that works for them. This consists of equal parts talking, shopping, eating and getting into trouble.

While LBL was visiting, G received a “Dear John” letter from a lovely man she has been seeing for several years. The letter was heartfelt and clearly indicated that this was not the end of their story. G was affected by the letter. Her first order of business was to call him and set a time the following weekend to talk things over. Her second order of business was to continue her usual plan with LBL, the always-successful one of talking/shopping/eating/getting into trouble.

Their shopping excursion on that day included a visit to Portsmouth, NH. The scheduled activities included misplacing car keys, losing VISA cards, getting hopelessly lost, and starting a verbal altercation at the entrance to the full parking garage.

The Getting Lost part involved a traffic jam on I95 and two different GPS systems that were only able to give directions that included said highway. After LBL and G managed to add two hours to their trip by trying to avoid the highway back up, G suggested another course of action. G believes firmly that the best person to get help from in an emergency is someone who is trying to end the relationship with you but who is clearly conflicted about doing so. To this end, the friends drove to Clearly Conflicted Ex-Boyfriend’s house.

As anticipated, CCEB came to the rescue, giving the women explicit directions about getting to the road that would then take them to Portsmouth. A lot of thank you’s and huggung ensued and the friends were off again. This time, they overshot the turnoff and ended fairly close to where they started.

G called CCEB again. “We need help,” she explained. CCEB realized that merely explaining directions to LBL and G would not suffice. He said “Wait right there. I’ll arrive in 10 minutes.” G expressed her gratitude by responding, “Bring cookies.”

CCEB arrived, cookies in hand. He then drove them to where the road to Portmouth was, which was exactly the spot where the friends had first started to get lost.

The trip to Portsmouth was a great success, in spite of said losing VISA cards, and engaging in a verbal altercation with another driver at the entrance to the full parking garage.

They celebrated their arrival home by feeding G’s cats a new kind of cat food and subsequently getting to clean up epic amounts of cat barf all over the house, after being alerted to the barf by LBL’s bare right foot. LBL also tripped over a piece of furniture during the night, on her way to the bathroom, and landed face first on the hardwood floor. For those Loyal Readers who are assuming that CCEB then rushed over and helped G take LBL to the ER, you’ll have to wait for the details at a later time.