10 Things I learned From My High School Friends

Posted on September 20, 2010


My high school buddies, Susan, Phyllis, and Judy, came to visit this past weekend.  These are the ten things I learned from their visit:

10. Guests who arrive carrying their own two-litre bottles of Cherry Diet Coke may not be emotionally prepared to eat wholesome, organic food for the weekend

9. Anthony’s Pizza in Falls Church, VA produces a cheesesteak that impresses even Philly Girls.

8. High school and college photos are proof that less than 1% of women in the mid- 1960’s were capable of creating a “flip” hairstyle that actually looked anything like Marlo Thomas on “That Girl.”  The rest should have their photos destroyed.

7. Women afflicted with a combination of topograpanesia and post-menopausal brain degradation will not do well playing a game called, “Sequence.”

6. The Smithsonian Museum offerings can be easily substituted with rooting around in a telephone booth-sized used book store and scoring a book called “Marilyn Monroe” which will most likely never be looked at.

5. Gelato consumed on a bench on the sidewalk is the appropriate break in any sequence of activities, including other forms of food consumption.

4. Searching for old boyfriends on Facebook has a better chance of being accomplished when one remembers what the hell their names were.

3. Yoga, meditation, therapy, medication, and dog ownership can all be paths to enlightenment.

2. Laughing with high school friends can be the most efficient route to peeing in one’s pants. 

1. High school friends can be counted on to remind us that, in spite of some of our best efforts to the contrary, we have turned out really OK.