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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »satire«
Please don’t take my crappy cell phone away from me!
November 19, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane’s technological prowess stops somewhere between the invention of the wheel and that of the cotton gin. Everything else, LBL puts under one of two categories: It’s magic and she likes it. It’s a curse on her existence and she wants it to go away. LBL’s enthusiasm for changing anything she has is […]
Please don't take my crappy cell phone away from me!
November 19, 2010
My technological prowess stops somewhere between the invention of the wheel and that of the cotton gin. Everything else, I put under one of two categories: It’s magic and I like it. It’s a curse on my existence and I want it to go away. My enthusiasm for changing anything I have is comparable to […]
What I did then. What I wouldn’t do now.
November 15, 2010
Although I had no part of the free sex of the 60s, and only slightly more of the more-than-free-but-still cheap drugs of the era, I look back on some of the things I did back then and wonder how I survived. I hitchhiked with my then best friend from Philly to Trenton, so that […]
What I did then. What I wouldn't do now.
November 15, 2010
Although I had no part of the free sex of the 60s, and only slightly more of the more-than-free-but-still cheap drugs of the era, I look back on some of the things I did back then and wonder how I survived. I hitchhiked with my then best friend from Philly to Trenton, so that […]
The Lady Gaga Guide to Airport Security
November 12, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane is about to leave for London. Again. Because her three kids all live at a distance (three different distances, to be precise), LBL now does a fair amount of traveling. And, because LBL has enough metal in her body to build a washer/dryer, Airport Security is always a blast (Whoops, wrong […]
That’s Not My Rabid Fox, Officer
November 11, 2010
After my cricket post I decided to take a break from writing about any non-humanoids for awhile. Then my phone rang. It was a former client: “I have rats. What should I do?” I thought about this for awhile, but rat stew didn’t seem to be the most helpful answer. “Call an exterminator.” I paused. […]
That's Not My Rabid Fox, Officer
November 11, 2010
After my cricket post I decided to take a break from writing about any non-humanoids for awhile. Then my phone rang. It was a former client: “I have rats. What should I do?” I thought about this for awhile, but rat stew didn’t seem to be the most helpful answer. “Call an exterminator.” I paused. […]
This Cricket was No Jiminy
November 8, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane is not afraid of insects. Unless they want to crawl into her nose or ears. And they always do. Last night was a typical example. Visualize this: LBL is reading in bed. Now Husband is sleeping. It’s peaceful, serene. LBL is loving her book (To the End of the Land, David Grossman). […]
My Life in Checkout Lines
November 6, 2010
I can tell it’s the beginning of the holiday season. It’s not because I have seemingly overnight developed an irrational need to gain five lbs and set off my IBS. It’s not because of the relentless Christmas decorations that magically appear in stores while the kids are still out trick or treating. It’s because of […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Boomer Sex Ain't Boomin'
November 24, 2010
28
An enlightening and thoroughly depressing new survey of sex among Boomers was conducted recently. Now Husband Dan and I unshackled ourselves from the headboard in our bedroom long enough to read it. I’ll summarize for those of you who were fans of Cliff Notes back in school. The first sentence says it all: The U.S. […]