A couple days ago, while going about the always fascinating business of my life, I was overcome with an astonishing sense of well-being. It was as though zen-infused Karo Syrup was oozing throughout my veins. I believed, as I walked along the aisle of Target that I had found the true meaning of life without even looking for it. Euphoria was my best friend. I was the epitome of enlightenment. Eckhart Tolle was a mere sham. When I exited the store, cartoon bluebirds were sprinkling cartoon flowers all over the parking lot. I could swear I heard Katrina and the Waves singing “Walking on Sunshine” as I headed toward my car.
The next morning, while attending a poor imitation of a souk in DC, the exact same thing happened, only this time my zen-like state was accompanied by the distinct feeling that I was getting sick. I felt like a guru with the flu. I briefly considered the possibility of throwing up, but I am averse to giving up food under any circumstances. Then I remembered that I hadn’t eaten that morning. Since food is the Universal Antidote to everything except possibly overeating, I purchased a Middle Eastern Something that was unheated and tasteless. It didn’t do the trick.
I told my friend I had to go home and wouldn’t be able to go to the movies as planned. At home, I languished on the couch, watching TV and sleeping. After a few hours, both the vague queasiness and the euphoria were both gone.
It was only later that evening while talking to another friend about her sciatica and hearing her use the word “hydrocodone” that my brain fired. I remembered taking Advil for a headache the morning before and finding some white pills in the Advil bottle that I assumed were calcium (I sometimes combine my pharmaceuticals when traveling). I popped the calcium and the next morning, popped another. A look at the one remaining pill confirmed that it was, indeed, hydrocodone, and not calcium, and I had taken it that morning on an empty stomach.
Today, I am drug-free. No euphoria. No cartoon birds with cartoon flowers in their beaks. No Katrina and the Waves. Not even one small Wave, humming out of tune. And it’s cold and windy and the sky is doing that pissy little “I’m-not-really-raining-but more-like-spraying-a-fine-mist-over-everything-which-means-it-doesn’t-matter-what-you put-over-your-head-you-will-have-Clown-Hair-at-the-holiday-party-you-are-going-to-tonight” thing.
Sometimes, the post-enlightenment crash can be a bitch.
writerwoman61
December 13, 2010
Yikes, Renée…glad you didn’t take anything with more serious side effects!
Loved the picture of “happyland” though…
Hugs,
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
December 13, 2010
My daughter said the same thing. But Happyland was sure nice while it lasted.
carldagostino
December 13, 2010
Hydyocodone and oxycodrone super addictive. Big problem addiction here South Florida. I have some saved in case I get another diverticulitis attack. I am clean and sober 8 1/2 years. Use when needed but see if just one a day helps for a while and then give weeks of away time or one here and there for back pain. The dreams probably come because it is an opiate and pure opium high is the euphoria and 8-12 hours dreams which are very entertaining. I understand Advil not addictive physically but perhaps psychological need develops from habit but not addiction per say. I under stand extended use Advil does burnout job on liver. We depend on these medicines to function , some for pain, some for depression and anxiety, but there is a difference between addiction and dependency. I’ve done the research but need to put together some paperwork to be awarded MA degree this field. I will not get licenture however, because I am on social security disability and cannot work.
carldagostino
December 13, 2010
Oh, and picture above typical LSD and opiate high visuals.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 13, 2010
I can’t get past “Oh my. “
Emily Jane
December 13, 2010
LOL… moving along… sorry to hear euphoria was short-lived and drug-induced, but glad you figured it out soon and got to enjoy it while it lasted!
Amanda Hoving
December 14, 2010
I’ll second that “Oh my.” And, hope you can find euphoria in a more natural state. Perhaps, streaking when it’s 20 below?
Walker
December 13, 2010
Hope you added some free love in with all that psychedelic peace and groovy stuff?
lifeintheboomerlane
December 13, 2010
Ah, funny you should mention that. My husband is out of town. We sure missed out, big time.
sunshineinlondon
December 14, 2010
Could have been worse, I guess? Glad you’re back to “normal” and sorry Katrina and the Waves have disappeared! xx
lifeintheboomerlane
December 14, 2010
Yes, life is, indeed, back to normal. All that goodsness and light might have gotten to be too much anyway, after awhile.
Loulou La Poule
December 16, 2010
Hysterical, honey!
Eckhart didn’t reach Nirvana; he just dissociated. He still gives a good talk, though.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 16, 2010
Thanks, Loulou. Seriously about Eckhart? I thought just sitting next to Oprah week in and week out would allow one to reach Nirvana.
Hippie Cahier
December 21, 2010
At first all I could think was, “I’ll have what she’s having,” but ixnay on the flu symptoms.
Loved the line about being averse to giving up food under any circumstances. 100% with you on that.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 21, 2010
Thanks, Hippie. Yes, the high was a real mixed bag.