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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »humor«
A Short Phone Conversation Between Charlie Sheen and Muammar Qaddafi
March 3, 2011
CS: Hey, Mu, how’s it hangin? MQ: Bigger, if you catch my drift, man. CS: You dog. I can relate. MQ: So, what’s up? (Mutual laughter here) CS: Your name keeps comin up lately. People keep sayin I could run Libya. MQ: Chalib, you don’t even speak Arabic. CS: Arabic, schmarabic. Don’t matter, amigo. I’m a […]
The Oldest Living Boomer
March 3, 2011
Old Boomer (but not Kathy) The Philadelphia Daily News (“Our motto: We aren’t the Inquirer and you’ve never heard of us but we are still here, just in case anyone is reading”) reported last November that Baby Boomer Number One is Happy and Healthy As She Nears 65. This might not have been hot news […]
How Much Does A Woman Cost?
March 1, 2011
This past Sunday, Life in the Boomer Lane’s friend Roni and LBL were driving to Baltimore for the annual ACC Craft Show (“Our motto: We have amazing crafts. You can either buy one of them or make your mortgage payment this month.”) Roni was regaling LBL with the latest romp (in the salon, not the bedroom) she had with her […]
Crib Shits
February 25, 2011
First, this week, www.livelaughloveliquor.com has bestowed on me the Stylish Blogger Award, for which I am very grateful. LLLL is a very, very funny lady, whose material is the Universe of Satire. And I wanted to pass along a blog I just started following: www.mylittlespacebook.wordpress.com. I was hooked when I read her page “I Am.” […]
Fat Pets and Fatter Wallets
February 23, 2011
Now Husband Dan decided to ruin my day by sending me an article from the March/April issue of Mother Jones magazine. This article distracted me from my alarm at learning on TV that there is a Fat Pet Epidemic. Half of all US cats and dogs are now considered obese. I immediately asked Miracle the […]
The Good, the Bad, and the Inexplicable
February 18, 2011
Whatta week in Blog World. First, THE GOOD: I found out that I was awarded the Style Blogger Award from Barb at http://www.cafetodaymyblog.wordpress.com. This sent me into a tailspin because 1. I don’t win things. 2. Even when I do win things, I’m not aware of it. Wendy at www.writerwoman61.wordpress.com told me she had given […]
We have stuff. Like earrings with a lot of breasts.
February 15, 2011
In my quest to come up with more activities than one human being can possibly engage in without making a dime, I have started making cuff bracelets. Since I have already purchased my new spring wardrobe (The sleeping bra. Remember?), I am now purchasing metal cuffs, ribbons, glue, and vintage buttons and earrings for embellishment. I […]
I did. I didn’t. I do:Boomers and Remarriage
February 14, 2011
Statistics on US divorce rates vary wildly, from under 35% to over 125%, depending on which source you look at and how annoyed you are with your spouse at the moment. But, no matter how you slice it, Baby Boomers are getting divorced at a higher rate than their parents’ generation. One source quotes the […]
I Get Royalties and You Don’t
February 10, 2011
It’s that time of year, the annual arrival of the 1099 with the year’s royalties I have received for my novel. I’ll pause for you to take this in. MY NOVEL. As in, I WROTE A NOVEL. AND I GET ROYALTIES. So, you may wonder, how did this amazing and spectacular thing come about? When […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
A Startling Prediction About the Fate of the Entire World
March 7, 2011
22
If we tear ourselves away long enough from any device that starts with a lower case “i”, we will be aware that we are being surrounded by a lot of old people. Some of them might even be us. The fact of the matter is that the age demographic of the United States and a […]