Women over the age of 50 have been complaining ever since their 50th birthday parties that men their age prefer younger women. Life in the Boomer Lane has written several posts that attempt to dispel that dangerous belief. She has been unsuccessful. She now throws in the towel and joins the other side. As soon as she hits “Publish” on this one, she will don her protective gear so as to better survive the irate comments of men who are now blissfully partnered with perfect younger women, younger women who are insulted by LBL’s sarcastic portrayal of them, older men who are insulted by LBL’s calling attention to their nose hair, and older women who believe LBL is making a mockery of a very real and tragic situation. This leaves only those readers who inadvertently stopped by, believing they would be getting a great recipe for spaghetti carbonara.
1. Younger women are universally hot and want sex all the time, except when they are reminding you to take your meds, cooking you great meals, or sitting with you in front of the TV, watching all your favorite sports teams in action
2. Younger women are universally hot and can explain all of the latest music, social media, and technology to you in a way you can completely understand and appreciate
3. Younger women are universally hot and would prefer to be in bed by 9PM, rather than going out to a trendy club
4. Younger women are universally hot and take a sincere interest in learning everything they can about the 50s and 60s and 70s
5. Younger women are universally hot and love to give massages (while they are naked), apply medicinal salves and ointments to you (while they are naked), and are masters at cleaning your ears and cutting your hair (while they are naked)
6. Younger women are universally hot and are attracted to men who are paying alimony and/or child support
7. Younger women are universally hot and become easily aroused by nose and ear hair and reruns of Gilligan’s Island
8. Younger women are universally hot and know all the latest clothing styles, but prefer men who wear shorts, black socks and Crocs
9. Younger women are universally hot and stay that way, no matter what
10. The most compelling reason for the older man/younger woman scenario, is the maturation rate of women vs men. The following graph shows this. You can see by following the age/maturation rate for both men and women that the optimal pairing is a 25-year-old woman with a 75-year-old man. Case closed.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
realestatehomepro
March 25, 2015
I have been trying to figure out why older men and younger women make such a perfect match. Finally….a logical explanation. I can rest easier now. 😉
Thanks for sharing.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
You are welcome. This is on par with the meaning of life, right?
marystarshine
March 25, 2015
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Thanks.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Thanks. I live for comments like this.
Kate Crimmins
March 25, 2015
So do you put parmesan romano on your carbonara? I am thankful that I am not a young hot woman! Oh wait…I still have to see the nose hairs, back socks and Gilligan repeats!
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
The real secret is the prosciutto. I would have said Hogan’s Heroes reruns, but Now Husband would have suspected I was talking about him.
Rebecca Latson Photography
March 25, 2015
After I finished chortling heartily I had to feel a little let down as a woman in my 50’s with a new boob job which apparently is going to be wasted since I’m too old for younger men and too old for older men (although I shudder at the thought of being a nursemaid to an older gent). Oh well, I still like my new boobs and I now look great in all of my clothes. That must count for something. Btw can spaghetti carbonara be cooked in a crockpot?
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
I am standing and applauding you for the boob job. I have no idea if carbonara can be cooked in a crockpot, but my personal thought is that anything, except maybe pancakes, can be. But I’ll bet that someone, somewhere, cooks pancakes in a crockpot. Listen, most men really do like age-compatible women, in spite of what they might say. The problem, as you note, is that a lot of older women don’t want to play nursemaid. Your new boobs deserve better.
janetmarsh2014
March 25, 2015
Now all is crystal clear. Never again will I expect a man to pay me attention while hot younger women are inside their radar- despite the fact that i understand their references, share their symptoms or know all the words to Jumpin’ Jack Flash.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
You may know Jumpin’ Jack Flash , but can you flash? That’s the question.
pegoleg
March 25, 2015
All compelling reasons. As to why younger women would WANT to date older men, in a capitalistic society, goods and services migrate to markets that will yield the highest return on investment.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Once again, Peg, you have reduced reality to its essence. Damn you.
pegoleg
March 27, 2015
I knew all those college econ classes would come in handy some day.
btg5885
March 25, 2015
Renee, this is hysterically funny. Well done. One you left out is these younger women have not heard all of an older man’s BS, so he has a new audience. Someone his own age knows it is BS. Of course, you need to provide some air time to Cougars, who do serve a greater purpose for young men and that is showing them how….I will let you fill in the blanks as I am blushing. BTG
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
You make a great point. There is the belief that these men are oh-so wise, etc, when actually, they have simply been around a bit longer. Yes, cougars. I have written about them, but I notice that the general population is more interested in the older man /younger woman thing.
btg5885
March 26, 2015
Renee, once that newly conveyed wisdom runs out, so does the clock on the relationship. After the sex is over, you still need something to talk about it that is mutually interesting. As for the cougars getting less interest in the public forum, I guess the older man/ younger woman scenario is more commonplace. The last time I checked, the average husband is three years older than his wife, so that could explain some of it. But, I guess the main reason is money and the confidence that comes with it can be a powerful aphrodisiac even for the most wrinkly and saggy of men. Again, funny post, BTG
BABYBOOMER johanna van zanten
March 25, 2015
Very funny, I enjoyed that first thing in the morning. I am in the dating game and fortunately, there are some older men who know their limitations. If they don’t know yet and go for younger women, I would not want to date them anyway, as they are not “my type”- shallow and narcissistic.
Johanna
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Truth, Johanna. I was involved with online dating for several years and I always dated age-compatible men. Whenever I saw an interesting man online who indicated a preference for younger women, I always wrote to him. I said, “Your profile caught my attention. I’m not in your age parameters, but I wish you the best in your search.” In virtually all cases, the man responded immediately with “Wait! I just needed to write something! I’m really open to women who are older!” I found that really amusing.
Paula J Wray
March 25, 2015
This is priceless.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Thanks, Paula!
janeydoe57
March 25, 2015
I love the addition of “while they are naked” to all those tasks. Makes me think of reading fortune cookies and adding “in bed”. When I was 40 I was between husbands and dated a 30 year old briefly. Very briefly. We had fun but not much in common and I wanted more. Fortunately I met JD about then and something in me just KNEW. At my next meeting with the lad I broke it off.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Smart lady. I know that mismatched ages can certainly work, but mostly, I think age-compatibility is the way to go.
Harlon
March 25, 2015
Brilliant! xo Harlon
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Ah, Harlon, I live for that word.
Chico
March 25, 2015
Love it!
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Thanks, Chico!
Chico
March 25, 2015
Reblogged this on Sixty and Single Again.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Thanks for the reblog!
tigerlilly
March 25, 2015
Walking down a street in New York, my best friend and I were surprised to see so many older men with younger women. The comment she made to me has remained in my memory for over 25 years.
“You know, 25 goes into 75 a helluva lot more than 75 goes into 25.” Hopefully no one is offended by this post but it sure made me laugh over the years.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Seriously hilarious.
An Ordinary Man (the novel)
March 25, 2015
as a 60-year-old, i find it hard to get a smile from women 50+
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
I’ve heard other men say that, and I find it really unfortunate.
ermigal
March 25, 2015
LBL, you could easily hang your “advisor to aging male movie stars ” shingle out in Hollywood and make a bundle! They would welcome a skilled coach like you in finding the appropriate (compliant) arm candy. Fun post! 😉
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
How much would I get paid? I am now getting paid nothing. Could I get more than that? I love when aging actors decide to marry much younger women and say the women are the love of their lives. I always think that actually, these guys are just tired, and those women came along at the right time.
thriftyatsixty
March 26, 2015
there’s a simple solution to your quandary. all you had to do was show the man naked and the younger woman dressed in your photo example. once a woman, any woman, takes a gander at an old man’s body (esp his ass as per Samantha Brown in ‘Sex In The City”) the woman (any woman) will be gone. I’ve always and eventually married a man who is quite my junior. stop complaining and go out and do it. BTW, my hubby has a magnificent, tight ass. you’re welcome.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 26, 2015
Ah, I was waiting for an older woman/younger man person to weigh in. I applaud you and your magnificent, tight ass acquisition. May we all have exactly what we want in life.
Mahlia Lindquist
March 26, 2015
Rene, hysterical as usual and with truth in ever syllable. Like you, I never wonder what older men see in younger women, that’s obvious. It’s the younger women who settle for geezers I don’t get. In fact, I always thought a much younger guy would be grand if one would have me. And because the winter/spring relationships are a never ending source of fascination … I am passing on the link to my post on How Young is Too Young…
http://rockymountainmiamian.blogspot.com/2015/02/how-young-is-too-young.html
Cheers!
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 27, 2015
Ah, Mahilia, I’ve just read your post. It was wonderful and said it all. I tried to comment, but I’m not sure the attempt was a success. It involved incorrect passwords, the bane of my existence. I tried to relate a date I had with a much younger man. I’ve always preferred age-compatible men. Saggy butts and nose hair are just part of the territory.
mdzlpaw
April 1, 2015
Agreed. Somehow the saggy butt, nose hairs, etc are not as disgusting now that I’m the same age. But I don’t know how the younger women do it. I couldn’t have dealt with a naked 60 year old in my 30s.
Susan in TX
March 27, 2015
Once I stopped laughing, I clicked to Pinterest and searched for “crockpot pancakes.” Yep. Lots of ’em.
(In the interest of full disclosure, I pinned one of the recipes. From a blog titled “Oh Bite It.” Had to.)
Thankful for Crockpots and my age-appropriate DH. But now I need carbonara.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 28, 2015
Long live crockpots. Now Husband makes magic in them. Also in pressure cookers, which, contrary to popular belief, do not explode. Carbonara, on the other hand, is best consumed after being prepared by Then Husband. It’s his specialty, and I tried to negotiate regular carbonara delivery as part of the divorce agreement.
Roxanne Jones
March 28, 2015
Another terrific one, Renee!
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 28, 2015
Ah, thanks Roxanne. I live for those words. Now it means blogging. Decades ago, it meant something else.
reneejohnsonwrites
March 28, 2015
I totally get why older men date younger women, and I think you have just amusingly explained why younger women are likely to be turned off by those same men. LOL.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 29, 2015
Thanks for the comment, Renee, and thanks for visiting my alternate universe. Great name.
reneejohnsonwrites
March 29, 2015
I was thinking the same about yours. Happy Sunday, Renee!
Kat
March 30, 2015
Read this & The Myth of Older Men Wanting Younger Women today. Now I’m confused. Should I post my real age with pictures of a 20 year old on my eHarmony profile? Maybe I should have tried Our Time when I was 25.
Life in the Boomer Lane
April 3, 2015
That would be hilarious. Once, Susan and I made a phony profile, sans photo, about a 25-year-old redhead with a killer body, who was looking for an older man. We got tons of responses. We wrote to each man and told him the woman was fictitious. Each one wrote back and said, “No, you are real, and I want to meet you.”
Chris White
April 1, 2015
Every word rings mostly true. Please refer to this link concerning my 1951 Club guide to Carbon-Dating and all will be well.
https://1951club.wordpress.com/2015/02/11/the-1951-club-over-60s-guide-to-carbon-dating/
Life in the Boomer Lane
April 3, 2015
VERY clever. How is the blog doing?
Chris White
April 4, 2015
Hello. Blog is going pretty well. I enjoy doing it. Watkins (87 years old) is just getting into his stride with Carbon-Dating and is never busier. God only knows where he digs them all up! He is brilliant at pairing up all those fossils.
All the best. I always enjoy your posts.
Kris
http://www.awritersden.wordpress.com
http://www.the1951club.org
Sidney Chan
April 11, 2015
I am an older man. I have never sought to date younger women. But ,wow, the reasons you listed are so compelling, especially #10. Hmm … now you got me thinking.
Life in the Boomer Lane
April 11, 2015
Yes, I decided to add even more fuel to the fire of the older man/younger woman thing.
Jean
April 12, 2015
“2. Younger women are universally hot and can explain all of the latest music, social media, and technology to you in a way you can completely understand and appreciate.”
Doesn’t mean all that technology is super useful. I can’t possibly fall into the younger women class very well because I still don’t use/know much about Facebook, Instagram, Twitter nor Pininterest. I’m 16 yrs. younger than my partner. OK….look at my photo. Am I a trophy person?
We’ve been together last 25 years.
Hilarious, the stupid-wisdom of the younger chick.
tomwhetstone
May 22, 2015
Of course, women over 50 could date men in their 60s or 70s. Some of the latter are real catches.
geezenslaw
July 10, 2015
I dated a woman for just under a year. She is a very attractive, shapely, sexy, 54 year old professional nurse. Using her unusually youthful appearance she previously dated a 32 year old professional festival worker. Her explanation was: she just wanted to do what the men have been doing for the past few thousand years. Comments? Questions?
Trinity Gary
January 19, 2016
http://www.freesugardaddysites.net/ – Best Free sugar daddy sites
Older Men Dating Younger Women
December 2, 2016
Absolutely right. There are many advantages to being in an age gap relationship. Older men dating younger women frequently report more satisfying sex lives, as women in their 20s and 30s tend to have higher libidos and are often more open to experimenting with new activities in the bedroom. Likewise, younger women seeking older men will tell you that a more experienced man often makes for a more skilled and attentive lover, laying the groundwork for more mutually satisfying sexual encounters.
Ett
June 19, 2018
Heyo, 29 year old with 46 year old. He looks younger than me (asian), and has great health and stamina. Is this going to change in 20 years? yep. Will I be his nurse? yep.
Worth it?? yep.
🙂
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 19, 2018
I love this answer. There are age-mismatched couples who should be together for all the right reasons. Hopefully, you are one of them. And, as for age 66, plenty of 66-year-old are healthy and have great stamina. Hopefully, again, he is one of them. Aging is part intention and part crapshoot, meaning the genes you were dealt. All the best to you and your man.
Ett
June 24, 2018
🙂 thanks. yes, our ages dont play any part to why we’re together really. We’ve worked through a lot of stuff in our personal lives, so if he was just in it for the young booty, or i was in it for the security, we would have jumped ship long ago. Sometimes age really is just a number, not a qualifier.