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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »humor«
What Baboons Can Tell Us About Aging and Singles Dances
May 17, 2012
But first, please check out The Byronic Man. Joel, the author, took time from his busy schedule of hilarity to feature Life in the Boomer Lane in his “20 Questions” series. If you like her answers to his questions, let her know. If not, she’ll change them for you. ***** In the countries with the longest life expectancies, […]
How to Find the Perfect Swimsuit
May 15, 2012
Let’s start off with the following disclaimer: The title of this post is about as likely to occur as being asked by George Clooney to an all-you-can eat chocolate festival. Writing a piece about the horrors of swimsuit shopping is about as unique as writing about dieting. And, like dieting, it’s doomed to get really boring. […]
Hillary Clinton: Face Off
May 10, 2012
Hillary Clinton, in an event generating even more negative feedback than her 1993 national health care debacle, has appeared in public with minimal makeup, glasses, and au natural hair. The shocking occurrence took place during an official event in Bangladesh, part of her current diplomatic tour throughout Asia. In an act that brazenly flaunted common […]
The Language of Love
May 8, 2012
It is commonly assumed that the most powerful words in creating relationship consist of one of the following: “Oh my, yes, ooooooh.” “Hmmmm, baby, you taste so fine.” “You make me hot all over ohmygoddoesallthatbelongtoyou?!” Shockingly, this is not the case. James Pennebaker, a psychologist who studies the use of pronouns has determined that pronouns […]
Why I’d Rather Be 65 Than 5, 15, 25, 35, 45, or 55
May 3, 2012
Age 5: I was Raggedy Ann to Neil Fishbein’s Raggedy Andy in the end-of-year school show. I loved Neil and he loved me. This would seem to set me up for a lifetime of bliss (talk about “getting old together”) but, the day ended tragically. My fake braids smeared my heavy white theatrical face paint […]
Americans Can’t Afford Health Care (Except for Me)
May 1, 2012
Blogging has resulted in my drawing people to me with interesting proposals. Most of these involve an attempt to place various body parts into other body parts and would result in their incarceration if I took their offers seriously and notified the local constabulary. But then there are the real folks who ask me to […]
CSI: Realtor Edition
April 30, 2012
Aside from being a hoarding therapist or a burglar, there is only one profession that allows one to enter the deepest recesses of other people’s homes with complete abandon. And, unlike the well-known hazards of the other two professions (being attacked by frenzied mammals or roaches/being sent to prison), there is little downside. That profession is Realtor. This […]
Angry Cow Disease
April 27, 2012
The recent identification of a Mad Cow in California is not to be taken lightly. Mad Cow Disease is frightening on several levels. But this writer knows squat about the intricacies of bovine spongiform encephalopathy so she will leave the big scientific stuff to the scientists. What she does know about is Angry Cow Disease, […]
Tareq Salahi to Run for Governor of Virginia
April 25, 2012
Just when you thought it would be safe to turn on your TV after news of Newt Gingrich quitting the U.S. Republican presidential contest, Tareq Salahi has announced that he will be running for Virginia governor. Some of you may remember Salahi from November 2009, when he managed to sashay past White House security with his wife […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
How to Look Great When You Travel
May 21, 2012
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For those of you who operate at a higher level than worrying about remembering to pack enough snack food, More Magazine offers an article titled “How to Travel Chic—And in Comfort.” Michael Kors, world-famous celeb designer and judge on the hit TV reality show, Project Runway, offers his top 5 favorite tips for air travel: […]