LBL Is Off

Posted on September 13, 2019


Life in the Boomer Lane is taking a short hiatus from whatever it is that we used to refer to as civilization. In other words, she is leaving Dodge for a couple weeks and travelling to a country in which Trump seriously admires the stronman leader, and describes the people as “”…these people, how nice they are. Look at them. They’re so easy to deal with. Look at them. Central casting. There’s no Hollywood set where you could produce people that look like them,”

Setting aside LBL’s own assessment of the Turkish president, she must agree with Trump’s profound assessment of the Turkish people. She married one. She has since been to visit Turkey about six times. The Turks are great. They have a deep sense of hospitality. They are devoted to family. They adore children. And they sure are hot.

LBL trusts that the earth will continue to rotate in her absence, that the brand new hotel at the North Pole will continue to be built, that the entire continent that was just discovered will still be discoverable, that at least 20 Democrats will still try to get the nomination for President, that Trump will continue to rant about energy efficient light bulbs and windmills and weather forecasts. We will have a new national security advisor. or two. Or three.

LBL has, as many Loyal Readers know, had a long history of travel mishaps. Among many other adventures, she has been smacked in the face by a large belt buckle, almost arrested at both the British border and security at Newark Airport, lost her luggage three times during the same trip, had her airline go on strike while she was still in the air, and got her arm stuck in an airport vending machine.

Do not fear: Should any tragic occurances befall her while in transit this time, she will be sure to turn such tragedy into entertainment for you. Nothing is off limits, except for detailing what happened to her on her return from Dubai last year, when she arrived at customs after about 20 hours of travel and about 30 hours without sleep. She was so giddy, she laughed at her own joke and prompty began to pee (copiously), as travellers went about their business not calling attention to her helpless state.