When I was little, I wanted Christmas. I didn’t care that Chanukah was eight days long, since I only got one present. People never talked about Chanukah. Everything out there in the world was Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. The stores were all filled with trees and lights, Santas were on every corner ringing bells, my elementary school had Christmas decorations and we sang Christmas songs. I can still sing two entire Christmas carols in Spanish, just in case anyone is interested. Christmas was the Big Kahuna, the Whole Ball of Wax.
My parents had tried, even before I started school, to nip my desire in the bud. When I was three, my mother told me there was no such thing as Santa Claus. I was undaunted. Each year I waited for Santa to discover me. One year, I took a knee sock and hung it from the light switch near the front door. The next morning, the sock was there, limply hanging. Even a piece of coal would have been better than nothing. For the next ten years, I lusted after Christmas in my heart, even as I sang “Oh Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel,” in Sunday School.
I was finally rewarded when I became seriously involved with Ron, a strawberry blond Methodist who would become my first husband. Finally, I could lay claim to the wonders of the holiday. The first Christmas I spent at my future in-laws’ house, I helped decorate the tree, swooned over the carolers who strolled through the neighborhood, attended the special Christmas Eve midnight service at the church. That night, I didn’t sleep for even a minute. I lay in bed like a five year old, in a state of giddy excitement. At dawn, I jumped out of bed and snuck downstairs. I thought I was the luckiest Jew in the world. I had both bases covered.
Christmas Day was a miracle. Boxes and boxes of presents. A big stocking just for me, filled with chocolate, which I consumed before breakfast was served. A day of food, presents, visitors, more presents, more food. This was what life was meant to be.
At the end of the day, Ron borrowed his mother’s car to drive me home. It was late Christmas Day evening. The roads were deserted. We took the East River Drive in Philadelphia, a beautiful road, similar to Rock Creek Parkway in DC. I sat in the passenger seat in a post-Christmas overstuffed swoon, completely at peace. We turned a curve, and I watched Ron turn the steering wheel. I noted that the wheel was especially easy to turn since it was no longer attached to the steering column. Ron noticed the same thing as I did, because his response was to look over at me and scream “Holy Shit!” While we skidded sideways across the Parkway, he never did let go of the wheel, apparantly hoping that it might decide to miraculously reattach itself.
The car finally came to rest when it climbed a little bit up the embankment on the far side. We scrambled out of the car and off the road. I’m sure Ron took the steering wheel with him. Eventually, the Parkway Police found us, kicked the tires to get the car half way up the embankment and out of traffic, then gave us a ride back to Ron’s house. Had there been the usual traffic on the road then, I’d be writing this post from the Great Bloggers Beyond.
I did eventually get home that evening, although it was well past midnight, and I felt like my Christmas bubble had burst. In retrospect, I’m not sure if the experience was due to divine disappointment for my temporarily switching allegiance from the religion of my forefathers, or just a slight oversight by the mechanic when my future mother-in-law had her car inspected.
I’ve since learned to celebrate Chanukah in a way that leaves me with no feeling of deprivation. And, of course, Christmas is still magical. For this reason, I sent my baby grandson (who lives in London) eight Chanukah presents. Then I sent him a Santa outfit. But I sent the Chanukah gifts first. I don’t need to be taught any more lessons.
carldagostino
December 8, 2010
Certainly there is the Christian aspect for Christmas but there is also the secular part re Santa and Snowmen et.al. I think everyone should feel free to celebrate Rudolph’s sleigh and not consider themselves as cheating on their religion. In North Miami, Florida the population is now 50% Haitian. Although many are Catholic a majority ascribe to the Jehovah’s Witness faith and the 7th Day Adventist religion. In my condo complex of town houses only 4 of us have lights and there is no Halloween as both do not participate in such events. It is very gloomy here. Believe me, at Easter most kids would prefer having the Bunny visit instead of Jesus hands down. Pre Easter week and pre back to school week is when most shoe stores do more than 50% of their business for the whole year by the way.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 8, 2010
I do think things have changed a bit (become more secular). I leave to others to debate whether that’s good or bad. I love all holidays of all religions, as long as they are joyful, celebrate love, and have great food.
Gayane
December 9, 2010
Well said Renee! Your accident was proof of miracles and magic in this world and thank God you were both ok. I like the season’s feeling of hope and giddiness. The snow makes things even more magical. I had a wish I could too when I was about 9: my best friend came from a Jewish-Catholic family, the family was huge, about 6 kids. That was my first wish, I always wanted to be part of a big family. (Mine was small, my only brother was still a baby sleeping in his crib.) The second wish was when Chanukah came: you can imagine the 8 gifts laid out for each of the 6 children and the fun that ensued as they opened them. That was a magical sight for a nine year old! And I found myself wishing I was a little of everything, so I could get a little of all the gifts……ah children and their dreams…..
BTW: I love the snow falling gently down this page! (please tell me that’s intentional and that I don’t need my eyes checked? )
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2010
Thanks, Gayane, and thanks for sharing your story. Yes, the snow is intentional!
TexasTrailerParkTrash
December 9, 2010
I’m a native Southern Californian who grew up in what they call here (in Texas) as an “unchurched” family. My Dad had been raised as a Baptist (church three times a week) and once he was out on his own he never set foot in a church again except for weddings and funerals–not even his own funeral since he was cremated. My mother went to whatever church was nearby when she was a child. My religious education consisted of one year of Sunday school at a Lutheran church—only because it was close to home and my brother and I could walk there by ourselves.
Our Christmas celebrations were decidedly secular and I’ve always loved that time of year. I had many friends who were Jewish and now that I think back I often wonder how they felt about having to participate in the school Christmas programs and festivities. It was just assumed, I guess, that they would go along with them, which they did very good-naturedly, I have to say. Around here I’ve seen a lot of bumper stickers that say “Keep Christ in Christmas” but I think for those of us who aren’t necessarily believers, Christmas can be a wonderful thing on its own.
How about “Festivus for the rest of us!” Let the airing of grievances begin..
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2010
I’m with you. I was raised in an observant home, but as an adult, I’ve chosen a secular lifestyle. I never think of what religion a person might be when I am interacting with them, and I wonder what the world would be like if our actions were determined solely by what would be best for others, rather than what “God” wanted us to do.
reneedavies
December 9, 2010
I love your posts, and this one in particular. Coming from a large Catholic family, my religious beliefs were mostly intellectual and seldom practical…until I had kids. When my kids were young, I felt responsible to lead them the best way I could, and so I made up my mind to teach them about the man in history I had come to believe in; the one who claimed to be “the way, the truth and the life”. I found it hard to indulge in Santa stories with my kids, but instead, told them true stories of Saint Nicholas and the man whose namesake was celebrated every year in December. So, while my kids may have had gifts and stocking stuffers at Christmas time, like you, they may have wished for a visit from Santa on that magical eve.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2010
Thanks for reading, Renee. It’s such a joy for me when people of different experiences and belief systems can relate to one another. And it’s also interesting that when we have children, we often get to stop and and really think conciously about some of the ways we were raised and to decide how we are going to proceed with them.
sunshineinlondon
December 9, 2010
I love this post, Renee, and what you’ve taken from that Christmas celebration episode. It sounds like you’re walking the road you’re meant to, and Jonah is blessed!
Sunshine xx
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2010
Thanks on all counts, Sunshine!
hannahjustbreathe
December 9, 2010
I freaking LOVE that picture!! So cute. Also? Given I lived in Washington, DC for five years, I had the most vivid, perfect image of you and and Ron, in that car, going around a turn like on Rockcreek Parkway, considering I narrowly avoided many, many an accidents on that road back in the day.
This post is so lovely, so Christmasy. I think sometimes we, who have celebrated this season all our lives, can easily forget how lovely the holiday truly is.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2010
Thanks, Hannah. I couldn’t believe it when I found that photo. For me, it says it all. Love your last comment.
writerwoman61
December 9, 2010
Beautiful post, Renée…glad you were finally able to experience the Christmas you imagined, and that you were able to walk away from that accident!
I’m with you on holidays…celebrate the ones about family, fun and food!
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2010
Thanks, Wendy. And we should be celebrating every single day of the year with family, fun, and food. Of course, the food thing would have to be toned down a bit.
notesfromrumbleycottage
December 9, 2010
Holidays mean so much but they can still be so hard. Great post.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2010
Thanks for reading. Yes, so true, holidays are a real mixed-bag, aren’t they?
Debbie
December 9, 2010
I grew up Catholic, but my best friends in high school were Jewish. Your post was fascinating to me because I never really considered from their point of view how hard it must have been to miss out on Christmas. I’m glad you’ve been able to celebrate both holidays, but I’d be like you in wondering if Somebody-Up-There was trying to get my attention with that little “mishap” on the Parkway!
lifeintheboomerlane
December 9, 2010
Thanks for reading, Debbie. I don’t know how many other Jewish kids went through what I did. In elementary school, my best friend’s father remarried a non-Jewish woman, and so they celebrated Christmas big-time. That probably made it worse. Also, back in that era, there was no concession given to anything other than Christmas. In school, it was called “Christmas,” not “winter holiday.” I think I just want it all!
Thomas
December 12, 2010
Great post. I celebrate Christmas and I’m so sick of it by now. Growing up on Long Island we sang Christmas songs in school and Chanukkah songs. I learned the Dreidel Song and even made one in art class, out of clay of course. I think you are better off that your holiday hasn’t become so overcommercialized and crass like Christmas has become. Maybe I’ll celebrate Festivus next year.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 12, 2010
Thanks, Thomas. I guess you are right. Chanukah isn’t as commercial, but probably just because such a small percentage of people observe it. And the story of a light burning for eight days doesn’t seem quite as compelling as either an immaculate conception/holy birth or a jolly fat guy in a red suit flying around the planet.
V.V. Denman
December 29, 2010
I was raised in a strong Christian home, but we celebrated Christmas from a secular standpoint. Santa Claus and snowmen, but no nativities. My folks were of the opinion that we should celebrate Christ everyday, not just in December.
Now with my own kids, we talk about the reason behind the season, but Santa Claus still takes center stage. Not that Santa is better than Jesus, just that he’s more Christmasy. To me, the holidays are about family . . . and Jesus is at the core of mine all year.
I was so interested to read your post. My daughters have a Jewish friend, and reading your post made me wonder how things are for her. There aren’t many Jews in Texas (not like in the northeast anyway) and I don’t remember having Jewish friends when I was a child. Maybe I was simply unaware. It’s interesting to glimpse your childhood. Thanks for sharing.
carldagostino
December 29, 2010
I am so very happy you found meaning in the post. Miami is mostly foreign born now. Hispanic and Caribbean black. Whites are minority so get the multiculturalism thing daily. Fiction writer, huh. I read mostly history but like Koontz, Berry Brown. Seems like you have a good balance re Christmas sec/rel. Started Cross Current by /Christine Kling.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 29, 2010
It’s interesting, but not surprising, that many people haven’t really known any Jewish people. I know there are still a lot of misconceptions around about what it means to be Jewish and what Jews believe. Outside of the Northeast, the West Coast and some of the major metropolitam areas in the country, Jews don’t constitute much of a percentage of the population, if any. I’m glad what I wrote was interesting to you! I always believe the more we all understand each other, the better.
carldagostino
December 29, 2010
I am so very happy you found some meaning in the post. You seem to have a good balance in your own estimations. Yes, it it hard for whites to relate especially if they live in areas that are predominately white. The opposite is true in Miami where 80% foreign born . Mostly South American and Caribbean Hispanic and Caribbean Black. Not much participation in Veterans Day . And certain religions no participation Christmas or Halloween. I think me and 27 others here know who Mickey Mantle was so I guess you get the picture. Glad you dropped by.