Working Hard at Not Making Money

Posted on December 7, 2010

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I have a new project to not make money.  This one is designing cuff bracelets using ribbons that are twisted and knotted.  Each piece is unique, and I’m sure there is no market for them.  This got me to thinking about all the creative ways I have found over the years to not make money.

 Writing: As if one novel and some short stories and articles wasn’t enough to not make money, I also co-authored two non-fiction books that are selling thousands and thousands of copies and netting us absolutely no money.  I write for an online newspaper that pays me about one half a cent for each hit.  It’s not even enough to keep me in low carb Power Pops. 

Now I have discovered blogging.  I love blogging and I love reading other people’s blogs, and of course, there is absolutely no money in blogging (for me) and so it is perfect.  A website indicated interest in using my posts and said they would pay me in virtual hugs.  I said that was exactly my going rate. 

Painting: I have sold my artwork in the past, mostly for several hundred dollars each.  In retrospect, I’d rather have the paintings now. 

Business: Back in 1999, I started and ran a speed dating company with a friend.  We were one of the first ever in the country.  We were on TV, in newspapers, in magazines and even appeared in an airline magazine and in international publications.  We used most of our profits to pay a company to create a super dooper world class website that was so complicated that we had to continue to use our profits to pay someone to run the website.  We finally got sick of not making money so we sold the company for $34,000.  Then the IRS audited us. 

Oh, I have another idea as well: William and Kate commemorative decoupage bracelets.  I’m thinking I can fly to London and set up a table somewhere on the day of the wedding and try to sell them.  Except I’d probably either get arrested or trampled by the crowds. And even if I didn’t, I’d have to sell five times as many bracelets as I had in order to pay my airfare.  

Sometimes creativity can be a bitch.

          

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Posted in: humor, life, satire