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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »news«
A Phone Conversation Between Trump and His Financial Advisor
Joe, Donald here. I’m a little bit upset. And, as you know, no one can get as little bit upset as I can. It’s really extraordinary, when you think about it. I know, Donald. Can you get to the point? That Kahn person, who lost his son in Afghanistan, spoke at the Dem’s convention and […]
The New Hampshire Nipple Bill
March 2, 2016
Lest you thought that New Hampshire was only known for primaries and the Pitco Frialator, you would be wrong, especially this year. With the exit of the politicians, media, pizza delivery people, and professional make up artists from the state on February 9, New Hampshire did not revert to its usual no-news condition. New Hampshire has […]
Umpqua
October 2, 2015
The latest school shooting has just occurred in Umpqua, Oregon. The latest group of parents are experiencing what no parent should: the death of a child. The President has made his statement. The news media has covered the event. Those on both sides of the issue have spoken their predictable words. To those who represent […]
Self-Identification and You
June 22, 2015
For the past couple weeks, it’s been a wild ride in the self-identification field. Caitlyn Jenner, in self-identifying as a woman, not only won a gold medal for transgender people around the world, but caused us to question our long-held notions of sex, gender, and how it is entirely possible to escape the clutches of […]
Time Magazine’s Person of the Year
December 18, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane took a break from reading accusations that Barack Obama is a Muslim Communist, in order to review the past year. Many people would agree that 2014 can’t end soon enough. It has seemed, at times, that we have all been on a long downhill slide, greased by the hijacking […]
How to Be A Good Jihadi Wife
November 1, 2014
It’s tough enough to be a good wife when one’s spouse has a 9-5 job. It’s a totally different kettle of fish to be a jihadi wife. Even a simple good-bye kiss at the door becomes quite complicated when one is wearing a burka and one’s spouse’s head is wrapped entirely in black cloth. […]
Dating Red Flags and How to Avoid Having Them Slap You in the Face
October 25, 2014
A woman who thought she had found her soul mate on an online dating site, ultimately found herself trapped in the chimney of said man. Last week, Genoveva Nunez-Figueroa, 30, was rescued by a team of firefighters after attempting to enter the man’s home in Los Angeles. Homeowner Lawrence Fernandez said the pair had been on […]
An Interview With 114-Year-Old Anna Stoehr
October 17, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane’s father was often fond of saying “The first 100 years are the hardest.” Anna Stoehr of Minnesota proves him wrong. Stoehr, age 114, was forced to lie about her age in order to join Facebook. She was born in 1900, but Facebook doesn’t let new users choose a birth […]
Unicorns, Starvation, and Sparkly Fairy Dust
December 3, 2012
In an announcement Friday, the North Korean state news agency reported that archaeologists recently reconfirmed the discovery of the lair of a unicorn once ridden by an ancient Korean king. According to the Korean Central News Agency, the discovery was made about 219 yards from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang. A rock that sits in […]
Boomer Breasts and the State of the Planet
November 30, 2012
Boomer breasts, while going about their daily business in relative obscurity, have nonetheless unwittingly become symbols of the general state of our world. The Breaking up of the Polar Ice Caps: The southward journey of the Boomer breast is symbolic of the sinking of the polar ice caps, but because it is located in a […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
August 1, 2016
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