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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »boomers«
The Aliens Have Landed and They Are Us
July 13, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
The Washington Post, in an article titled “Aging America,” about what cities are doing to accommodate older citizens, has called attention to an alarming observation: “People are getting old fast.” This can’t be good news for Boomers, who had believed that the aging process, as frustrating as it might have been, at least followed a […]
Grandma’s in the Basement (and Jr’s in the Attic)
June 20, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
If you start to hear strange noises from your attic or basement, don’t worry that you have been invaded by squirrels, mice, or zombies. Chances are more likely that it’s either one of the people who birthed you or who you, in turn, birthed. According to the Atlantic Monthly, which gets its data from a […]
How to Ride A Bike For 97 Years
June 6, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Octavio Orduno is a 103 year old cyclist. He doesn’t compete in races. He merely rides his bike all day. He does so without his glasses, because he doesn’t like to wear them. His wife, exasperated by her failure to convince him to wear glasses, was at least able to convince him to switch recently to […]
I’ll Have Two Elf Ears and a Side of Bacon
April 19, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Thanks to AARP, I have been alerted to a new trend in man’s ongoing quest for perfection: elf ears. AARP states that “Body modification artists cut the tops of young people’s ears and sew them back together in a pointed shape.” The segment is titled, “Ah, Youth! Sometimes we don’t miss it.” I don’t […]
Lost in Space
March 30, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Actual items LBL has lost, which are now orbiting the earth According to Newsweek, NASA scientists want to build a cheap, earthbound laser that could zap away the “space junk” orbiting the earth. The zapper wouldn’t make the items disappear. Rather it would simply push the debris further out into space, so that incoming spacecraft […]
That’s not my purse. It’s my kidney.
March 28, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
In an attempt to add body snatching to the list of endangered job descriptions, scientists are perfecting ways to grow organs (the kind usually found inside the body) in a lab. These “bioartificial” organs are identical to the ones produced when your father grabbed his crotch one day and whispered sweet nothings into your mother’s […]
Ask Me About My Colonoscopy
March 19, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
When burying people up to their necks in sand and releasing ants to crawl all over their heads became passe, someone invented the colonoscopy. Colonoscopies are especially important for people over the age of 50 because it provides them with the need for something that no one ever told them about and which can’t be spelled anyway. […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Word to Your Mother
July 21, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
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Adult children are generally like people who work at the same office with us. We see them on a regular basis and we might even have lunch with them or go out for drinks after work or even go to their house for dinner. We know things about their personal lives, especially when they are […]