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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »boomer humor«
How to Live Forever
May 4, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Newsweek has an article called “How to Live Forever.” In spite of that intriguing title, the article isn’t about living with your children or in the nursing home until the universe is finished being the universe and moves on to being something else. If everyone really could live forever, it would bring up other issues. Like […]
Ouija Board: A Do-It-Yourself Seance
April 11, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Before reading this post, you need to set aside all judgments you have about psychics, paranormal activity, spirits, and Langhorne, PA. Keep an open mind, as we take a trip into The Land of That Which Cannot Be Explained But Neither Can Anything Else. Now Husband Dan and I spent the weekend visiting my […]
The Monetization of Hopscotch
April 1, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Seriously. Life in the Boomer Lane has never, even in a drug-induced Happyland stupor while seated in Dr Gerald’s dental chair, ever thought about blogging about Hopscotch. Come on now. Hopscotch? Is there a more basic children’s game? Yes, there is. That one where you hide something in your hand and shove both fists in front […]
Lost in Space
March 30, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Actual items LBL has lost, which are now orbiting the earth According to Newsweek, NASA scientists want to build a cheap, earthbound laser that could zap away the “space junk” orbiting the earth. The zapper wouldn’t make the items disappear. Rather it would simply push the debris further out into space, so that incoming spacecraft […]
That’s not my purse. It’s my kidney.
March 28, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
In an attempt to add body snatching to the list of endangered job descriptions, scientists are perfecting ways to grow organs (the kind usually found inside the body) in a lab. These “bioartificial” organs are identical to the ones produced when your father grabbed his crotch one day and whispered sweet nothings into your mother’s […]
Ask Me About My Colonoscopy
March 19, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
When burying people up to their necks in sand and releasing ants to crawl all over their heads became passe, someone invented the colonoscopy. Colonoscopies are especially important for people over the age of 50 because it provides them with the need for something that no one ever told them about and which can’t be spelled anyway. […]
Fullness
March 16, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Tomorrow morning, I’ll board a plane for London to see my daughter and my grandson. I’ve been there many times, now. This trip, like all others will have its own unique character. The word “fullness” comes to mind when I think of this trip. My daughter: The fullness of belly, of breasts. Incubating her next […]
Oh, Baby. Boomer.
March 10, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
E-Science News has come out with an article detailing a 65 year-long study on Boomers by the Medical Research Council of Britain. The title of the article alone, “Baby Boomer Study Shows Importance of Childhood,” is vital to understanding how they become who they become. Mainly this involves the fact that, after years of research, scientists […]
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Communal Dressing Rooms: Where Dreams Go to Die
May 20, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
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I’m just as evolved as the average woman. I’m smart, I’m funny, and I can sing “See You in September” backward. I paint, I write, I can still recite the entire introduction to the old TV show “Superman.” I’d say I have a pretty good self-image, except for two areas of life: finding myself at […]