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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »satire«
Armed and Cuddly
Every once in awhile, when the Real World pokes its ugly red bulbous snot-infested nose into my perfect little delusional world, I have to take time out to address issues that make me barf. So, when I found the following offer from a company called “Living Social” pop up in my email, I took pen in […]
An Award, An Acknowledgement, and a Pope for Dinner
May 31, 2011
Territerri of www.intomystic.wordpress.com just gave me the Versatile Bloggers Award. Territeri is special for a couple reasons, the least of which is that she has a repeating name (think John John Kennedy). TT writes about her life in a way that makes me want to grab my coffee cup, pull up a chair, and join in. […]
Bring Me the Head of the Pope
May 26, 2011
Some years back, Now Husband Dan acquired, in a very interesting and not-for-public consumption way, a much-larger-than life-size exact replica of the head of Pope John Paul II. The sculptor was a friend of his. We are neither Catholic nor Big Head collectors. For this reason,the larger-than-life-size likeness of a deceased pope’s head didn’t fit […]
Not the Oscars, But Sort of Better
May 25, 2011
This morning, after waking up, looking in the mirror and seeing two completely different people represented on my head, I began to muse on the medicinal uses of Spanx. It was then that my intellectual reverie was interrupted by being alerted that I had received a “Versatile Blogger Award” from Coming East. As the recipient, I must tell you […]
I’ll Have A Cut, Color, and Formaldehyde, Please
May 23, 2011
I have curly hair. No, wait. I have CURLY HAIR. Like in “You can be a really good person and deserve good things in life, but I am Your Hair and I will screw you everyday of your life by being completely out of control and no matter what you do I will make you […]
Labor Days
May 19, 2011
Thanks to Newsweek, I now know that laughing gas is being touted as an aid during labor (the kind that ends in childbirth, rather than the kind that ends in a paycheck). This got me to thinking about my own labors, in 1975, 1976, and 1980. This was shortly after husbands began routinely appearing in […]
My Psychic Menage-A-Trois
May 15, 2011
To celebrate my birthday, two friends (Roni and Susan) and I went to a psychic. This was no ordinary psychic. This was a psychic who had been on TV and who cavorted with other famous psychics and who was here for a one-time-only event. I was sold. Count me in and take my hard-earned […]
Bristol Palin:Plastic Surgery-ing With the Stars
May 12, 2011
In an attempt to quell the insidious rumors going around that she has had plastic surgery, Bristol Palin invited a reporter to her home inAlaska. “First off,” she started, this is absolutely, completely, 110% not true. I did not have plastic surgery. I had corrective jaw surgery. I did not want to have surgery. My doctor […]
Gotta Love Joisey
May 10, 2011
I’ve had several messages from the universe lately. Some people get messages from the universe about saving countries or leading their people to freedom or fighting for human rights. I’m not one of those people. Because I grew up in Phiadelphia, I get messages about New Jersey. I spent a lot of time at the […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
June 2, 2011
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