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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »politicians«
The Heeby Jobbies and the Heebie Jeebies
A woman at a recent Trump rally asked “Why aren’t we putting our military retirees on that border or in TSA? Get rid of all these heeby jobbies they wear at TSA?” Trump didn’t correct her, either by clarifying that the word was “hijabis,” nor that the question mark at the end of the […]
When the Roof Caves In
May 19, 2016
Lately, Life in the Boomer Lane has had a recurrent nightmare that the incessant rain in the area causing her roof to start leaking. This feared event materialized on Tuesday. LBL went up into the attic closet to get a canvas for her oil painting class. The attic walls were dripping, and wrapping paper and […]
Living Your Life in 8 Second Intervals
May 16, 2016
Back in 2014, when Life in the Boomer Lane wrote her last post on aging and height loss, the world was a much more innocent place, chiefly because the presidential primaries had not yet begun and because LBL was still over 5′ tall. In the interim, both American politics and LBL’s height have dipped to […]
A Short Conversation Between Roger Stone and The National Enquirer
March 28, 2016
(Phone rings) National Enquirer, here. If it bites, we write. If it shrieks, we leak. If it smells, we yell. Uh, hi. I have a story that you guys should write. OK. Hillary Adopts Bill’s Alien Love Child? Elvis-Worshipping Tribe Found in Jungle? Brangelina Double Sex Change Surgery? GOP Considers Bigfoot Nomination? Severed […]
The New Hampshire Nipple Bill
March 2, 2016
Lest you thought that New Hampshire was only known for primaries and the Pitco Frialator, you would be wrong, especially this year. With the exit of the politicians, media, pizza delivery people, and professional make up artists from the state on February 9, New Hampshire did not revert to its usual no-news condition. New Hampshire has […]
Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest
February 29, 2016
Life in the Boomer Lane watched a comedy clip recently, in which a reporter (fake) attended a Trump rally (real). First, he spoke to some of the people in the parking lot, waiting to go into the rally. He asked one young man how Trump was going to defeat ISIS. The answer was “Bomb […]
A Short Phone Conversation Between Donald Trump and Kanye West
February 22, 2016
(Trump’s phone rings, and he answers) Hello, person who loves me. Build that wall. Ban Muslims. Carry guns. Repeal Obamacare. Boycott Megyn Kelly’s show. Wear my hats and tee shirts. Vote for me. Make America great again. Hey Donald, Yeezy here. So I heard that you said you were the most popular person who […]
Trump: The Man, the Candidate, the President
February 15, 2016
Many years ago, I had a surgeon with a terrible bedside manner. He was abrupt and spoke above my level of understanding. There was nothing about this man that I liked. But he had a great reputation as a surgeon, and surgery was what I needed. And the surgical theater is not equivalent to the theater […]
Why Can’t We All Just get Along?
January 29, 2016
Life in the Boomer Lane could barely contain her sadness over the recent dischord between some mighty high profile people. She will now bring you up to date on these events so that you can be as depressed as she is: Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa Wiz tweeted something about Kanye’s new album “Waves.” Kanye […]
Emergency Republican Debate
January 25, 2016
Donald Trump’s assertion that he could stand on Fifth Avenue and shoot someone, and his groupies would still support him, was met with outrage on the part of other Republican Presidential wannabees. Because of that, Republicans held a special debate, in which the top five candidates could have their say. It went something like this: […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
July 5, 2016
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