Lately, Life in the Boomer Lane has had a recurrent nightmare that the incessant rain in the area causing her roof to start leaking. This feared event materialized on Tuesday. LBL went up into the attic closet to get a canvas for her oil painting class. The attic walls were dripping, and wrapping paper and other assorted items were wet. LBL rushed to the phone and called her contractor, who, coincidently had been working on the exterior of the house that week and who inspected the roof the day before. He told LBL she needed a new roof. She ignored him and went back to foraging in the refrigerator.
“Did you do anything to the roof when you looked at it?” LBL asked the contractor, assuming he would give an answer that involved chain saws and small explosives as part of his inspection. His answer was that he had only looked at the roof, nothing more.
LBL and the contractor went downstairs to see if any damage had been done there. Upon a closer inspection, they noted that water was running down the living room walls, and the plaster was buckled. The contractor also took a look outside and shared the news with LBL that one of her three chimneys was revealed to be in cahoots with the roof in creating the problem.
LBL was shocked, as she hadn’t been aware that she possessed three chimneys. The contractor assured her that she did, indeed, possess three chimneys, but that this one was apparently not needed, since it had a concrete cap that sealed it off. He suggested removing the chimney. LBL wondered what the market would be for a vintage chimney on eBay.
LBL tried to remain positive. “At least Trump isn’t choosing Palin as his running mate,” she told her contractor, who wisely responded, “This is gonna cost you a bundle, and I need a huge deposit right now.”
Lo and behold, in Slate mag the following day, it was revealed that Palin is, indeed,now on Trump’s short list for VP. The thought of a Trump/Palin ticket is creating the same kind of obscene assault to LBL’s sensibilities as the water did to her living room plaster. She will, most likely, clean out her entire bank account to rectify the water problem, which will leave her no cash with which to start an anti-trump/Palin superpac.
In order for the contractor to pinpoint the exact source of the leak, all items had been removed from the huge storage area off the attic bedroom. These items consisted mainly of everything Only Daughter had deemed worthy of saving, but not worthy of cluttering up her own residence.
All 20+ large cartons and other assorted paraphernalia were then dragged out into the bedroom area, where they succeeded in obliterating the bed. Then, all of the insulation was removed, creating an interesting motif across the floor, the front walk and the driveway. Large plastic sheets were tacked up all over, so as to keep the area dry until the main work could be started.
The good news is that LBL has no house guests staying with her at the moment. The bad news is that they arrive on Sunday. When they are gone, another guest arrives. In the meantime, the forecast is for more rain. LBL’s choice now is to delay the work until her guests leave and hope that the water doesn’t do any more damage. Or she can start the work and have her guests sleep on both the living room couch and futon in Now Husband’s study. Either way, she is screwed. And, if Trump actually does choose Palin and is elected, the entire country may be, as well as the English language.
Jill Foer Hirsch
May 19, 2016
A few weeks ago I saw our neighbor getting her roof replaced, and her house is a year younger than ours. Logical conclusion was to replace our roof before monsoon season. Husband found it easier to write a check than argue with me, and hoping that saved us from problems…
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 21, 2016
Ah, Jill, you are wiser than me. And probably in more ways than roof maintainence.
Chris White
May 19, 2016
Sounds nasty. All in husband’s study sounds like a good bet. Good luck.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 21, 2016
The first two houseguests had to cancel, last minute. I will regret not seeing them, but it will make the roof situation easier.
Keith
May 19, 2016
Sorry for the leak. No fun whatsoever. I cannot see Trump picking Palin as he already has the low-information voters on the extreme right. He needs someone with cache and fewer affairs and marriages than he has had, so Newt may not be a good candidate either. I can see this question of Newt, “weren’t you having an affair when you were criticizing Bill Clinton of having an affair?”
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 21, 2016
I am so appalled and fearful at this point that I can’t even make any jokes. Every single day there is something being spewed from his mouth that makes me cringe. Like Bill being a rapist. Like Hillary planning to abolish the 2nd amendment. I’m scared.
Keith
May 23, 2016
I shared my post on my favorite Trump lies under the acronym CUTIE citing his rate of campaign lying of more than 75% by PolitiFacts and FactCheck. It was shared to others and I heard back from a Trump supporter echoing what Trump says about the nonpartisan fact checkers being liberal media biased and denying he said a couple of things, which are on record. I mentioned if I lied as much as he does, I would call foul with the judges as well. I guess if he can play his own press agent, he can play his own judge and jury. It should be noted that this Trump fan downplayed the three active court cases against Trump for alleged misrepresentation of Trump University and should be categorized as let the buyer beware. In other words, it is there fault that he lied to them.
Andrew Reynolds
May 19, 2016
Maybe you could sell all your daughter’s stuff on eBay to cover the deposit. Gets a little cash, clears a bedroom, and likely you bought all that stuff anyway – you just let your daughter borrow it while she was living with you. At least that’s what you tell daughter when she finds her stuff on eBay.
and on that election thing, I am going to England in September for a visit. Going to check out house prices while I am there…
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 21, 2016
Do you think there’s a market for boxes of emails that were printed out? Unless your name is Hillary Clinton, I’m not sure who would pay money. I suspact that some folks might actually relocate out of the country, rather than subject themselves to President Trump. I’d consider moving to Seattle, which seems to be its own country, politically.
Elyse
May 19, 2016
I’m pretty sure your roof just got as sick of the constant rain as I am and gave up. Which is what I plan to do if Trump is elected.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 21, 2016
I’d live without a roof if it meant avoiding the election of Donald Trump.
Elyse
May 21, 2016
And I’d let you!!!
Taswegian1957
May 19, 2016
Not sure which is worse news your roof or Trump and Palin. For you I guess the roof trumps the Donald. Put the guests on the couch and get the work done before you have black mould to deal with as well.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 21, 2016
Ugh, I’m certainly familiar with that. The work starts on Monday. Since it has rained almost every single day for weeks now, I’m hoping we get a break next week.
Joyce | Poppies and Popcorn
May 20, 2016
At least you can do something about the leaky roof. A possible Trump/Palin ticket is so much more frightening.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 21, 2016
I’ve never been scared by a candidate before or by thoughts of the direction this country is going in. I hope I’m wrong.
Life With The Top Down
May 22, 2016
As I’m reading this I’m listening to Good Morning America and the “voice” is saying insane things once again. A quiet Sunday morning and I just used the word “mother ….er” that is what this guy does to me!
As for your roof, my husband is in the business. Please, get more than one estimate. Anyone who goes up, just “looks” and tells you it’s going to be a fortune …NO. It’s not easy finding honesty these days, but there are some good ones out there.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 23, 2016
Now Husband goes nuts every time I mention T’s name. It’s too disturbing to him. Maybe the reason I talk about T is to try to anesthtesize myself against the worst possible outcome occurring. The contractor did a pretty thorough inspection and did take all kinds of photos to show me. The damage was obvious. And I decided to only repair the section of roof that was leaking, not do the entire roof. I know I should be doing the entire roof. I’d tell my own clients that what I’m doing is foolish. Alas.
lisakunk
May 22, 2016
Your roof will surely be repaired before the country with craziness daily. Sorry you’re soggy.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 23, 2016
I fear you are right. I keep wondering how history will judge this period. It won’t be pretty.
dorannrule
May 23, 2016
Hilarios…then again maybe worrisome…then again hilarious. I love your detours. 😂
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 25, 2016
Ah, Dorann, those detours have been with me since time immemorial. They resulted in my constantly getting lost, as well as in people always asking me, “Where did that come from?” When one spends one life in detours, one is always seeing new things. And always being late for everything. Thanks for appreciating.
David Brown
May 24, 2016
A great metaphorical comparison to U.S. (our) political scene and campaign(s) for POTUS. A kind of mania: crying one minute, laughing the next. LBL your the best.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 25, 2016
Thank you for this comment. I’m farflempt, David, seriously. Talk amongst yourself while I recover.