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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »humor«
When Lawyers Rise From the Dead
June 18, 2011
A Jerusalem rabbinical court condemned to death by stoning a dog it suspects is the reincarnation of a secular lawyer who insulted the court’s judges 20 years ago. Several weeks ago, according to the Behadrei Hadarim website, a large dog entered the Monetary Affairs Court near the ultra-Orthodox neighborhood of Mea Shearim. The dog scared the […]
How to Ride A Bike For 97 Years
June 6, 2011
Octavio Orduno is a 103 year old cyclist. He doesn’t compete in races. He merely rides his bike all day. He does so without his glasses, because he doesn’t like to wear them. His wife, exasperated by her failure to convince him to wear glasses, was at least able to convince him to switch recently to […]
Armed and Cuddly
June 2, 2011
Every once in awhile, when the Real World pokes its ugly red bulbous snot-infested nose into my perfect little delusional world, I have to take time out to address issues that make me barf. So, when I found the following offer from a company called “Living Social” pop up in my email, I took pen in […]
An Award, An Acknowledgement, and a Pope for Dinner
May 31, 2011
Territerri of www.intomystic.wordpress.com just gave me the Versatile Bloggers Award. Territeri is special for a couple reasons, the least of which is that she has a repeating name (think John John Kennedy). TT writes about her life in a way that makes me want to grab my coffee cup, pull up a chair, and join in. […]
Bring Me the Head of the Pope
May 26, 2011
Some years back, Now Husband Dan acquired, in a very interesting and not-for-public consumption way, a much-larger-than life-size exact replica of the head of Pope John Paul II. The sculptor was a friend of his. We are neither Catholic nor Big Head collectors. For this reason,the larger-than-life-size likeness of a deceased pope’s head didn’t fit […]
Not the Oscars, But Sort of Better
May 25, 2011
This morning, after waking up, looking in the mirror and seeing two completely different people represented on my head, I began to muse on the medicinal uses of Spanx. It was then that my intellectual reverie was interrupted by being alerted that I had received a “Versatile Blogger Award” from Coming East. As the recipient, I must tell you […]
Communal Dressing Rooms: Where Dreams Go to Die
May 20, 2011
I’m just as evolved as the average woman. I’m smart, I’m funny, and I can sing “See You in September” backward. I paint, I write, I can still recite the entire introduction to the old TV show “Superman.” I’d say I have a pretty good self-image, except for two areas of life: finding myself at […]
Labor Days
May 19, 2011
Thanks to Newsweek, I now know that laughing gas is being touted as an aid during labor (the kind that ends in childbirth, rather than the kind that ends in a paycheck). This got me to thinking about my own labors, in 1975, 1976, and 1980. This was shortly after husbands began routinely appearing in […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
SlutWalks
June 21, 2011
53
The all-time winner of the Foot in Mouth Award is local Toronto police official Michael Sanguinetti who spoke to an assembled crowd at Osgoode Law School to discuss public safety issues. According Ronda Bessner, an Assistant Dean at the school, “He (Sanguinetti) said, ‘”I’m not supposed to say this, but to prevent being sexually assaulted, avoid dressing like […]