Posted on June 8, 2011


Your potential dinner partner on


Thanks to my good friend Susan, I have been alerted to a company called Grub With Us, “that brings groups of 20- and 30-somethings together for low-key, friend-making dinners at local restaurants…This is a really non-awkward way to meet new people. You’re taking your online social network offline, and you’re doing it over food,” says Grub With Us development director Sen Sugano. The dinners, he explains, are meant to be relaxed, unlike networking events, where careers are thef ocus, or dates, where romance is the goal.”

So I started to wonder what kind of people would take advantage of this new service. After all,there is something called Meet Ups, which has been around forever and has a zillion activities people can take advantage of.  So what makes this different?  Since you have to fill out a profile first, and you get to read the profiles of others, this would prevent uncomfortable dinner conversations often encountered in the scary, trendy, white collar, upwardly mobile world of Washington, DC area, such as:

“What do you do for a living?”

“Well, since I’ve gotten out of prison, I now work at a day care center.”


“Do you have children?”

“Nineteen.  And counting.”


“I notice that your hair is an interesting color.”

“Yes, I have it straightened with formaldehyde.  I find the iridescent glow advantageous when friends have to find me at wine festivals.”

“Has your skin always had a  glittery sheen like that?”

“Formaldehyde, again.  I think it compliments my eyes, don’t you think? Oh, can you pass the cilantro butter, please?  My fingers haven’t been working properly lately.”


 “If you’ll excuse me, I must run to the men’s room to uh, wash my hands.”

“Didn’t you just come back from there?”

“Uh, yeah, but I just shook your hand.  Be right back.”


“I’m really excited about this dinner.  It’s my first social outing since The Rapture.”

Posted in: humor, satire