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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »celebrity news«
A Short Phone Conversation Between Donald Trump and Kanye West
(Trump’s phone rings, and he answers) Hello, person who loves me. Build that wall. Ban Muslims. Carry guns. Repeal Obamacare. Boycott Megyn Kelly’s show. Wear my hats and tee shirts. Vote for me. Make America great again. Hey Donald, Yeezy here. So I heard that you said you were the most popular person who […]
James Bond Beds A 50-Year-Old Woman. Applause, please.
December 8, 2014
For those of you who have been living inside a broken pay phone booth since 1962, you may not have been aware that James Bond likes his women plentiful, available, and pretty darn nubile. The average age of the men who have played Bond over the last 200 years, has been 43.5. The average age […]
An Open Letter to Kanye West
October 30, 2013
Dear Kanye, You probably don’t have many post-menopausal white women in your fan base. The only reason I know who you are is because I read US Magazine on the treadmill. For that reason, I know that you sort of ruined Taylor Swifts’s big moment at the Grammys and that you are Kim Kardashian’s Baby […]
Aging Facefully
December 5, 2012
A favorite activity of celeb mags, when they aren’t detailing Taylor Swift’s boyfriend du jour or the imminent break up and/or marriage of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, is to haul out photos of older actresses and to shriek “More beautiful than ever!” “Never ages!” “What is her Secret?” “These Older Actresses Get Hotter Every […]
Hillary Clinton: Face Off
May 10, 2012
Hillary Clinton, in an event generating even more negative feedback than her 1993 national health care debacle, has appeared in public with minimal makeup, glasses, and au natural hair. The shocking occurrence took place during an official event in Bangladesh, part of her current diplomatic tour throughout Asia. In an act that brazenly flaunted common […]
Tareq Salahi to Run for Governor of Virginia
April 25, 2012
Just when you thought it would be safe to turn on your TV after news of Newt Gingrich quitting the U.S. Republican presidential contest, Tareq Salahi has announced that he will be running for Virginia governor. Some of you may remember Salahi from November 2009, when he managed to sashay past White House security with his wife […]
My Life in A Bag
June 27, 2011
I’m leaving for London tomorrow. I’ll be there for a month (My daughter will be giving birth to her second child), and so I’ve been packing my one-allowable-but-not-more-than-50-lbs-in-weight suitcase with baby clothes that have been stored at my house, gifts, items my daughter and son-in-law can’t get in the largest city in the European Union, and […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
February 22, 2016
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