We came of age at a time when society seemed to be redefining, not only the roles of women, but of itself. We were young when, for the first time in living memory, it was youth who toppled a president and ended a war. When the modern women’s liberation movement began. When Roe v Wade opened the doors for legalized abortion. When both Title IX and the Pill leveled the two major playing fields of life.
Heady times. And, ultimately, confusing and frustrating. Women in the late 1960s may have been marching and tossing their bras into trash cans, but the Miss American Pageant was still going strong, and the modern child beauty pageant began at exactly the same time. Blinded by the dazzle of what was possible for us, we didn’t realize that while society allowed us new freedoms, it didn’t take away all the requirements of the old order.
Clearly, we were not our mother’s generation. But we had not yet achieved a total break from the mentality of the past. We may have gone to college, but most of us married as soon as we graduated. And the overwhelming percentage of us who did graduate, went into teaching, nursing, or social work. We may have been professionals, but we were professionals in the age-old arena that women had always had access to: We were nurturers, but now nurturers with advanced degrees.
The more powerful we became, the more important, it seemed, to be childlike. Twiggy, the first supermodel sensation, hit the pages of fashion magazines in 1966. In her own words, “I never planned to be a model. I thought I was much too thin.” She was 5’7” tall and weighed 91 lbs. And she was catapulted to idol status by women all over Europe and the US. In that moment, our notion of beauty had taken another turn. It was no longer beautiful to be shapely. We had to be waif like. Skirt hems rose and dieting became a popular obsession. The average fashion model weighed eight percent less than the average woman.
Throughout the 1970s and 1980s, women, for the first time, began to make inroads into male-dominated professions like medicine and the law. In 1975, Helen Reddy’s song “I Am Woman” rose to the top of the charts. The most famous line in the song, “I am woman, hear me roar” became the anthem for many women. Unfortunately, for many others of us, it was our stomachs roaring with hunger. The average fashion model now weighed 23 percent less than the average woman.
As the standard of beauty kept shrinking, the possibilities for cosmetic surgery increased. Throughout the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s, more and more space in fashion and lifestyle magazines like Vogue and Ladies Home Journal was being taken up by articles on plastic surgery. Breast augmentation was the #1 cosmetic surgery procedure. The result was that yet another version of beauty emerged, one that would have been virtually impossible in nature: the waif with large breasts.
Throughout the 1980s, the relentless march of cosmetic surgery possibilities increased and became accessible to more and more people. Liposuction was added to the mix. We could have large breasts and have fat suctioned off our bodies. We could have wrinkles removed and sags lifted. The appearance of youth became a national obsession.
Many of us were too busy raising children and/or working on our careers to notice that, increasingly, it wasn’t enough to be thin. It was becoming even more important to be young. As we passed out of youth into an age that, historically, would have meant kudos for a life well lived and wisdom gained, we were to be hit with a double whammy that our mothers and grandmothers could never have understood. As women, we were required to be attractive. As older women, we are required to be attractive and still look young.
If the current notion of beauty no longer works for us, it’s up to us to make it change so that it does. We get to do this for ourselves, for our daughters and for our granddaughters.
Next up: Redefining Beauty and Aging
Life in the Boomer Lane 
The Sandwich Lady
May 31, 2012
Boy this hit home. The dieting, the exercise, the extreme maintenance it requires to “look young” get increasingly impossible as the years wear on. A few who are genetically gifted (naturally tall and thin) can still pull it off. I remember reading once that the actress Kathleen Turner, who is far heavier now than she was in her “Body Heat” days, said that as a woman ages she needs to choose between her butt and her face. If she wants to lose weight her face will look haggard, and if she is well-upholstered her face will be more radiant. A woman who’s comfortable in her own skin — that’s what I’d like to be.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
Yes! We started out with impossible goals. Now, as we age, the goals are bordering on laughable. We should all strive to be healthy, and comfortable in our skins.
The Byronic Man
May 31, 2012
I read an interesting article recently about our contemporary concepts of beauty that cited Tom Ford, the fashion designer. He was saying that we actually seem to be forgetting what women look like. Literally. That, for example, our images of breasts have been so shaped by media imagery and augmentation that a lot of people basically don’t know what breasts actually look like any more. Hyperbole, perhaps, but a disturbing concept.
We didn’t stop binding feet because we became enlightened. We stopped because we stopped thinking crushed feet were attractive.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
Great point. With the advent of both cosmetic surgery and Photoshop, I agree that we are forgetting what real bodies look like. And foot binding, initially an attempt to create small feet, resulted in creating deformity and dependancy. Now, we have more and more young women who believe that only starvation and/or surgery can “improve” them. We’ve made little progress.
Carol H. Rives
May 31, 2012
Again, another great segment to the series. For me, it’s pretty simple ~ being happy with one’s self needs to come from within. I find it difficult to believe that someone is “complete” because of their weight or the size/shape of their breasts. Both of those, being variables, can and will change, and where does that leave one with the happiness factor? I’m guessing there’s a reason that these models walk the catwalk with a sour-puss look on their faces….. they’re hungry!!!!!!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
Thanks, Carol. Yes, contentment always comes from within. But with popular culture bombarding us with unnatural images of faces and bodies, it become more and more difficult to screen out the messages of artificiality.
Carol R Craley
May 31, 2012
Wow, a lot to think about… I wholeheartedly agree with The Sandwich Lady… my goal is to be comfortable in my own skin. With age, the brain is changing also, so I would have to add that I would like to add and comfortable in my own head!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
Great point. And I really do think it’s up to older women to take a stand about all this. That’s what Pt3 will be ablout.
Barneysday
May 31, 2012
Great post. Perhaps because I’m older, but these “models” today seem plastic and artificial. I thank my stars daily for the real woman who is in my life.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
You are a good man, Barney, and a wise one.
Betty Londergan
May 31, 2012
Such a thought-provoking post! Isn’t is fascinating that as obesity becomes a national problem, the models become more and more spectral? I can’t even watch America’s Top Model because the girls are so painful to look at… and even though Vogue (a giant offender of featuring insanely thin models) is now promising to not use girls who have eating disorders (clearly, they ALL do) — it’s a little too little, too late. Haven’t you noticed how on every TV show, the actresses get thinner and thinner until it’s just ridiculous? Take Glee — or Desperate Housewives, or even the wife on Curb your Enthusiasm! They have such pressure to be rail thin — it’s crazy! My friend works in wardrobe on a series, and the average size is a 0. I’m now almost 60, my body has changed and I’ve pretty much accepted that. Too bad if my stomach isn’t flat anymore, and yeah, my skin is drooping in a way I never expected. Oh well. As for plastic surgery, here in Atlanta, it’s an obsession — and I’ve seen too many bad face lifts to make me even consider it. Aging is hard — because it’s not like it’s ever going to get better, it’s just going to get worse — but I just try to avoid mirrors and delude myself that I’m really, really cute. Works for me!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
It actually hurts me physically to hear some of the stories about high profile women. A friend of mine was in a restaurant, when a local news anchor came in. My friend said she could not believe how thin the woman was. How thin is thin enough? There doesn’t seem to be a bottom line, here. And, yes, the fat/skinny thing is fascinating. We are a nation of extremes in all things, it seems.
Brigitte
May 31, 2012
I wasn’t a woman of the 60s, but I was becoming aware of women’s roles in the late 70s, mostly the 80s. Even then, the “idea” of being “beautiful” was more obtainable than it is now. It’s impossible and it’s sad that so many young women are trying to measure up to what consists of images that are not “real.” I had no idea about all the facts above and applaud you for providing them to us!! Even with all the magical plastic surgery, if you look at when it goes too far — women (and men) still look as if they’re 50, 60, 70 (whatever the case may be); it’s just that unnatural mask-like, no laugh lines, nary a wrinkle, tight freakish look that I hope won’t become the norm. I told my husband the other night — do young men (and women) of this generation even know what REAL breasts are supposed to look like and that it’s okay if they’re not perfect orbs that defy gravity? I’m with the Sandwich Lady — a woman comfortable in her own skin is beautiful. Great post and thank you!
P.S. I think it’s time to do away with beauty contests! But that’s just my humble opinion.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
Thanks, Brigette, and thanks for your comments. I don’t think things will change dramatically, but I do think we have more power then we believe we do. More on that with the next post.
pegoleg
May 31, 2012
Adding to the problem is the fact that many top designers and movers & shakers in the fashion industry are gay men. I watched a design show that had a challenge to design for a group of “real” woman. One young man was very upset that his model had boobs and that would ruin the line of his clothes. Tim Gunn’s reaction when he was asked for advice was pretty funny, but the underlying issue? Not so funny.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
I love Project Runway because I see it as watching art-in-the-making. And I do applaud them for occassionally asking the designers to dress “real” women. I saw that episode. Yeah, gee, breasts can be so annoying, can’t they?
Lynn Schneider
May 31, 2012
Seems to me having large breasts has become a matter of affluence rather than beauty. anyone can have them – so long as one can afford the procedure.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
So true, Lynn. And big butts, and smooth skin, and perfect blindingly white teeth, and….
iampeterstorey
May 31, 2012
You put a finger on one of the pressing issues in today’s world; the unnatural standard which American women are confronted with and told–by these unnatural depictions being used publicly to appeal to men–that such things are what men most desire. Thank you.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
You are welcome, although I wish we could all devote our energy to important issues, instead of the relentless unnatural expectations that we are subjected to.
Kathryn McCullough
May 31, 2012
I didn’t realize that Twiggy was THAT thin. I struggle every day with the tyranny that demands I be thin. I, too, am short, and, as you probably know, the shorter you are, the fewer pounds you can manage. Great post, Renee!
Hugs,
Kathy
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
Thanks, Kathy. When I was looking for photos for the post, I was actually shocked at what some of these models look like. They are skeletal, in the true sense of the word.
lexy3587
May 31, 2012
A few years ago one of the major fashion shows made it a rule that the models had to be within a healthy weight range for their height/age. I don’t think they kept the rule more than one year, but that year, the fashion designers found that less than half their models could be used. The original hunger games?
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
I remember that. I’m even surprised that almost half of them qualified. And I am so sick-to-death of hearing people go on and on about how gorgeous these models are. What are they looking at?
morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer
May 31, 2012
To be happy in your own skin is difficult when those ipn other skins put pressure on you. What hurts is seeing young people buy into these standards it Can be disastrous. My daughters are already worried about their grade school aged daughters and the unhealthy pact of these false, unreal standards .
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
That’s what scares me more than anything. The neurosis is getting deeper and deeper and affecting younger and younger girls.
bestbathroombooks
May 31, 2012
How did I raise a beautiful non-skinny, un-high heeled smart girl? I don’t know but she’s amazing. They have to know they’re worth it at a very early age. Then they just dominate the world.
I really like your writing and subjects.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
Thanks, and many congrats to you. I know our kids watch us, and something tells me your daughter’s mom set a great example.
jillianinboots
May 31, 2012
The other day, I had a woman at cosmetic counter compliment my lips, which she presumed were enhanced. Nope, they’re just the same ones the 7th grade boys used to call “worm lips”. But I became nervous under scrutiny – I’m 43 and haven’t had even a shot of Botox! The clerk handed me an anti-aging sample and I panicked. But you know, screw it. I have more important things to deal with, like hiking with my dog. We have to watch out for rattlesnakes and we don’t have time for surgery. Nice post!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
Thanks, Jillian. Isn’t it amazing that when we see features we find attractive, we assume they aren’t “real?” I love your comment about hiking with your dog being more important.
Carl D'Agostino
May 31, 2012
Seems like in the effort to become what they are things got messed up per the things you have listed because many still want to be what they are not re culture’s projected ideal.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 31, 2012
If we women continue to compare ourselves to some kind of “ideal,” we are doomed. Hell, even the ideal, herself, has been airbrushed, so she is doomed, also.
Emily Cannell
May 31, 2012
It seems that when you visit other countries, look at their people and watch tv (France and Italy both being great examples as fashion epicenters) women look their age- and embrace it. Boobs are not enhanced. Women on the street don`t look like a character from Batman. As an American overseas, I don`t feel the pressure to look younger. I do- on the other hand- feel pressure to live a healthier lifestyle.
As an example, in Japan, women eat healthy, want to maintain a healthy weight, and seem to care about developing age spots so they are militant about sun protection. But they don`t care about breasts, lines, or teeth.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
I do think we in this country are at rock bottom in self-image for women. I know that older women in Europe have no hesitation about wearing bikinis on the beach. Older women here sometimes won’t even wear bathing suits, period, and I’m not referring to going nude.
twindaddy
May 31, 2012
I can’t speak for any other men, but I find the picture above distasteful. Skin and bones is not attractive to me.
Beauty is nice, but it’s what’s inside that counts.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
You know, I really believe that most mean like bodies to look like bodies. I think in a lot of cases, it’s women who perpetuate the skinny standard.
cindyricksgers
May 31, 2012
Great post! I am looking forward to part three. I will turn sixty this year. I have two grown daughters and a twelve-year-old granddaughter. All of these issues have been on my mind for quite a while now. I’m pleased to hear your take on it. Thanks you!
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
Thanks, Cindy!
notquiteold
May 31, 2012
I am probably the poster child for the woman stuck between the conflicting versions of womanhood. I’m well-educated and I’ve had a successful career. I’m independent and outspoken and proud of my intelligence. But on the other hand… I work way too hard trying to be pretty and young and thin.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
I’m going to talk about this in the next part. This is a conflict so many of us face.
nrhatch
May 31, 2012
I am who I am. I have never had a manicure or pedicure or bikini wax. No breast augmentation. No liposuction. No botox.
My only concession to beauty is a bit of brush on blush . . . sometimes.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
You are a great example of a natural beauty, living in a natural setting.
speaker7
June 1, 2012
Loved this post. The obsession with youth is really strange because when you think about it most of us were immature do-do heads at that age and should never be emulated by anyone.
All I can think of when I look at the plastic faces is that scene in the movie Brazil when the main character’s mother is having saran wrap wrapped around her head.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
In trying to find photos to use for these posts, I got scared silly at some of them. One site showed celebs before and after. Yikes, there is virtually no one left who still looks like themselves. I guess we all just get used to seeing people morph into other beings and we don’t realize what is happening. And the celebs and models are skeletons with hair and sometimes fake boobs attached.
nrhatch
June 1, 2012
It is scary what celebs (e.g., Meg Ryan & Kenny Rogers) have done to themselves . . . I generally prefer their “before” selves. Their after selves are a bit Frankensteinish.
Snoring Dog Studio
June 1, 2012
Parents have a huge role to play in this and I don’t envy them, what with the onslaught of “beauty” images coming at us through all media. But parents have to start early on with messages both verbal and visual that show their daughters AND sons that value is below the surface. And here’s a confession: I know that many of the commenters are proud of their abstinence from cosmetic surgery and dermatology, but, frankly, I feel – really do feel – much better not seeing that crease between my eyes over the bridge of my nose, which made me always look too serious or angry. I’m no more superficial than anyone who abstains from these “enhancements.” As I said before, our society punishes and marginalizes women who don’t look their best. It’s a fact. We need to be seriously concerned about the weight thing, definitely, but I tend to think that my underlying good qualities are part of who I am – just as my relatively unwrinkled skin is.
pegoleg
June 1, 2012
THis is really brave to admit. Maybe it can be ok to have a big brain AND unnaturally perky boobs? Hmm?
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
Like me!!! Oh wait, you did say “perky.” Damn. And you also said “big” before brain. Shit. OK, never mind.
pegoleg
June 1, 2012
Or an unnaturally perky brain? Like you?
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
I think it would be tough to be a parent of a daughter now. I have one daughter, and I was lucky. She never used make up and either did any of her friends. She is 36 now and uses make up only when she goes out, wears glasses a lot instead of her contacts, and enjoys food. And she is gorgeous.
My Inner Chick
June 1, 2012
–We are a society of superficiallity & shallowness…
More concerned about big boobs than big brains.
I agree, we must make a change before all of our girls are walking around like Joan Rivers faces and Pamela Anderson honkers.
What a big fat joke.
Great post.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
Thanks. It’s really terrible what we do to ourselves.
Gayane
June 1, 2012
great post Renee! Maybe the Victorians had it right, just squeeze into that corset, step into that hoop skirt and voila. But then the Flapper era brought in the no breast look, flattening out those poor babies….but then….oh my, getting stuck here….you know what> togas for everyone!
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
I need an XXL corset.
She's a Maineiac
June 1, 2012
Excellent points. I can’t believe how many of my friends have had their breasts done and tummy tucks after they had their kids. It seem we buy into this notion that we are only attractive if we all end up looking like Barbie dolls. Even though I draw the line at going under the knife, I still buy into thinking ‘looking good’ is important and I do put myself down in subtle ways if I don’t look a certain way. Not sure why but I’m slowly trying to undo my beliefs. And I’m determined to help my daughter not grow up with these notions.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
I’ve heard about all these Mommy Porcedures. Are your friends also doing anti-aging procedures now? Look what we are teaching our daughters.
izziedarling
June 1, 2012
I couldn’t have said it better – brava, Renee!
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
Thanks, Izzie!!!
Go Jules Go
June 1, 2012
Another wonderful post, Renee! I agree with Betty – it’s ironic that as the models get thinner, ‘regular’ women get heavier. But perhaps even more disturbing now is, like you said, the pressure to look young. You know I just turned 30, and I’m already starting to panic, staring at the lines around my eyes, asking my sister when she got her first gray hair. It really takes energy away from what’s actually important in life. And like you and Byronic Man said, the distance between what people really look like and what we now think they should look like is growing larger and larger.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 1, 2012
Time for a revolution. I am reminded more and more of the culture of the Capitol in The Hunger Games. It was a great commentary of what happens to a culture when there is no sense of purpose, and people direct all of their energy toward personal adornment. I wish you could see how incredible life is, the older you get. You’d start loving the lines. Youth is seriously overrated (I’m only half-kidding, here.) And you are beautiful!
Sienna (@datingseniormen)
June 2, 2012
I’m going to come down on the unpopular side of enhancement. It’s easy for us mortals to say that everyone who goes under the knife is shallow. But plastic surgery for movie stars (and many others who live in the public spotlight) is the equivalent of academe’s “publish or perish” (pause for snorts of outrage and disgust).
Given the financial means and the desire to land bigger and better roles, what’s the harm of a brow lift? When you’re born with a receding chin or a bulbous nose, why does changing these features, if they trouble you, have to be an act of self-loathing?
I speak not in praise of addicts who resculpure their entire faces or who relocate their eyebrows to their ears, but of those for whom a tweak or two can make life more fun. Remember “only her hairdresser knows for sure”? “Blonde” and “floozie” were once synonymous. It’s 2012 and Juvederm is the new Clairol.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 6, 2012
I’m with you. I think we should give everyone a break (including ourselves). Cosmetic surgery isn’t going to disappear. We can debate the value, the downside, the whatever of it, but women will continue to take advantage of it. Let’s focus on what women do with their lives, not what they to to their faces and bodies.
benzeknees
June 4, 2012
I have been blaming Twiggy for a while now about the downfall of women’s positive self-image. Women used to look like Marilyn Munroe & Lana Turner & they were considered sexy & they were sexy. Women need to take back our power & our bodies!
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 6, 2012
YES!!!
CMSmith
June 10, 2012
This is an awesome series. Reading it is making me understand why, in many ways, my attitude has become: to hell with it. Haha. I’m trying to lose weight, but now i’m doing it for my knees, not anyone else’s notice.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 11, 2012
Yes, and that statement is so important. As we age, fitness/weight becomes more important because of the stress we are putting on our joints, as well as other weight-related issues.
http://yahoo.com
February 9, 2013
“The Hunger-for-Beauty Games Pt2: Breasts vs Brains Life
in the Boomer Lane” was indeed a wonderful
blog post. If only there were even more websites similar to this particular one
on the actual world-wide-web. Regardless, many thanks for your precious
time, Sergio