Today’s Washington Post reports the following: Harvard University,the home of really, really smart people, has just completed a 20 year long research project to find out exactly what makes people fat. Researchers studied 120,000 US men and women in their 30s, and 40s, and 50s to determine the effects of food, drink, exercise, sleep patterns and other lifestyle choices. Here is what they found:
SOME FOODS CAUSE PEOPLE TO GAIN WEIGHT BEYOND ALL REASON.
MANY PEOPLE GAIN WEIGHT LITTLE BY LITTLE OVER THE YEARS WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT. Clothes stop fitting and after awhile they are walking around completely naked and wondering what happened.
Darius Mozzafarian, the head of the Harvard School of Public Health, offered these tips for readers:
- My name is not Mozzarella.
- The accent is over the syllable “far.”
- I am not related to the Kardashians.
In addition, he said “The big picture of what’s new and unique here is that we looked at multiple things simultaneously. And, believe me, it isn’t easy to get subjects to eat, exercise, and sleep all at the same time.”
Kelly Brownell, director of Yale University’s Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity, had two things to add:
- “George W Bush graduated from here, but we are as smart as Harvard.”
- “I think it’s an important study.”
For those exasperated readers who are getting tired of the sarcasm and want hard facts, I will dispense with the sarcasm:
POTATOES MAKE PEOPLE GAIN WEIGHT. AND FRIES ARE THE BIG, WICKED, #1 SERIAL KILLERS OF FOOD. It is a little known fact that the great Irish immigration into the United States in the mid-1800s was caused by people fleeing from all those potatoes. (So I lied about the sarcasm thing. Shoot me.)
NUTS ARE GOOD.
YOGURT IS GOOD.
REFINED GRAINS (LIKE WHITE FLOUR) ARE BAD.
EXERCISE IS GOOD.
TOO MUCH SLEEP OR TOO LITTLE SLEEP IS BAD. People who sleep less than six hours or more than eight hours per night gain more weight. People who eat fries while sleeping gain the most weight.
THERE IS LITTLE OR NO DIFFERENCE TO EITHER COWS OR PEOPLE BETWEEN SKIM, LOW FAT DAIRY AND WHOLE FAT DAIRY AS FAR AS WEIGHT GAIN.
MEAT IS BAD.
There’s a lot more, but readers are advised to do their own research. And if you see a potato, hide.
Carl D'Agostino
June 23, 2011
I doubt the last one. Whole milk has fat. Maybe this is true. Does whole milk have more cholesterol ?
lifeintheboomerlane
June 23, 2011
Carl, your comment got me to Google it. Yes, whole milk has more cholesterol, but I don’t know how much more. But if you look at the graph, you’d see that the difference betweem skim and whole milk as fat builders is slight.
Sigrid Rogowski
June 23, 2011
I eat very healthy food,walk daily for 30 minutes,no couch potatoe here,but I have severe difficulties to loose weight since menopause.I do have an under active thyroid.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 23, 2011
Menopause and thyroid issues are causes of weight gain, as are other factors we have little control over. Also, I know many women, especially as they age, have more difficulty processing carbs.
Kim Sisto Robinson
June 23, 2011
Mr. Potato Head Freaks me out !!!!
lifeintheboomerlane
June 23, 2011
There’s a support group for that.
territerrirri
June 23, 2011
When is somebody going to pay somebody to do some research that will tell us that fries, beer, and lots of television watching have health benefits? Seriously, I’d live a more healthy lifestyle if it were any fun at all!
lifeintheboomerlane
June 23, 2011
I’m still waiting for the beneficial effects of chocolate, ice cream, non-exercise, and being short.
theressomethingaboutrachel
February 13, 2012
Short people (such as myself) are basically just screwed when it comes to staying in shape. Very unfair.
Life in the Boomer Lane
February 13, 2012
I’ll probably be wearing heels when I’m 90.
Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
June 24, 2011
My brain hurts, and so does my stomach.
k8edid
June 24, 2011
Maybe eating right and exercising your butt off (literally and figuratively) will help you live 100 years…..or maybe it will just SEEM like 100 years.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 24, 2011
The latter.
youngamericanwisdom.com
June 24, 2011
Damn potatoes.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 24, 2011
Had I known about this article, I would have sold all my potato stock.
deliriouslydivine
June 24, 2011
I like Mr. Potato Head, but then I’ve always been slightly attracted to ‘chunky’ men. Sweet ones too!
lifeintheboomerlane
June 24, 2011
Now, that was funny.
Kathryn McCullough
June 24, 2011
This is brilliantly funny, Renee! So, so funny it hurts!
Now–fast forward to McDonalds. Some fries are in order!
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
June 24, 2011
Just reading the research made me want to drive to Micky D’s. I don’t even eat French fries. But there is something completely addictive about those.
georgettesullins
June 24, 2011
I went to Furr’s cafeteria and ate all I could eat for my birthday. HB to me…HB to me…
lifeintheboomerlane
June 24, 2011
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! I am raising my French fry to toast you.
hansi
June 24, 2011
I don’t think potatoes are so bad. It’s just all the stuff you put on them that turns a moderately low calorie, nutritious food into a hidden killer.
Is there anything fun and tasty, that you can do that doesn’t result in getting fat?
lifeintheboomerlane
June 24, 2011
Uh, sex. I really can’t think of anything else.
See Elle Oh
June 24, 2011
I KNEW it! OK, no, I didn’t know about the potatoes. I’m a little sad now, cuz I make some kick-ass roasted & creamed taters (not at the same time, obv.).
Alas.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 24, 2011
I need that recipe.
TheIdiotSpeaketh
June 24, 2011
I’m still hoarding all my potato stocks! 🙂
writerwoman61
July 1, 2011
I know what’s making me fat, and yet I still continue to eat it…sigh…
Wendy